Twilight Saga my way
by TwilighterObsessed
Summary: Bella and Edward..."I then looked at him, pondering what he was thinking and why he sat so far away. He had been avoiding closeness like the plague after we almost went "too far" a few nights ago."
1. Lost Morals

**Bella and Edward, if he lost control before they married. Please review. First time writer. All credit to SMeyer for her wonderful characters that I can put my spin on!**

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We sat on the same couch but with him on one side and me on the other. We were watching Romeo's death scene for the fifth time. Edward sat quietly sighing as if he were bored of the movie and I continued to stare blankly at the flat screen TV. I then looked at him, pondering what he was thinking and why he sat so far away. He had been avoiding closeness like the plague after we almost went "too far" a few nights ago.

"_Just kiss me, Edward. You know you want to. I definitely want you to." I scooted closer to him and he gave me a tortured expression. He always looked so tortured. So refined. I felt the rapid beat of my heart. I wasn't always so bold but I loved him. I needed him more so right now than any other moment._

"_Bella-" He started, but broke off when I touched my hand to the sleeve of his shirt._

"_It's just a kiss." I said as I leaned into him. I could see him ponder it and frown. He was debating as he always did. Making things harder for himself. And for me._

_He let out a long sigh and mumbled something under his breath._

"_Alright. But.. if it goes too far.."_

"_You will stop it. I know, I know." I said frustrated and rolled my eyes, which made him chuckle. He seemed to like to irritate me. _

_I moved closer and touched my lips to his. He held still as always. Too still. I wanted a response. I wanted the passion from him that I had once seen and I kissed him more frantically. I tried to push my tongue into his mouth and he jerked his head away._

"_Bella, you know you can't-"_

_I cut him off with my lips, almost tripping as I went to straddle his lap. Not tonight. He wouldn't stop me. Well, I would try my hardest. I couldn't help the low, aggravated cat-like sounds reverberating from me. In response, I felt something hard between us and intently he started to kiss me back.. First gentle, then rough. Very rough, bruising my lips and puffing them. _

_I didn't feel any pain. It actually felt really nice and I let my hands roam over his body. From his chest to his belt and then lower. He growled as I started to unbuckle it. Slightly brushing over his marbled erection. _

_Before I knew it, I was on my back on the couch, his body pinning me down. His predatory eyes, dark and menacing. He looked as if he was losing control. Just like the night in the ballet studio as my blood pooled around me. He looked.. thirsty. _

With a quivered breath I remembered I had pushed his restraint too far and I almost lost my life. Now he would never try to touch me that way again. Once more I sighed, but he never looked at me. I saw a pained look cross his face and I know he was remembering too. His hand was balled into a fist on his lap. My phone buzzing in my pocket broke me out of my reverie.

"Edward, it wasn't your fault."

Oh boy, did I get a reaction. He scoffed and turned towards me. His face twisted in anger.

"You almost got your wish, Bella! To be one of us."

"Is that so bad?"

"God, You are so willing to die. If you keep playing with fire you won't just get burned. You'll get dead. What if I can't stop?"

"You stopped before.."

"Hmm, so I did."

With that he was quiet again and staring back at the movie. Infuriated, I got up and stormed up my stairs. I hoped he would follow but no such luck. That man, oh, that man. He could piss me off like no other. At the door to my room, I heard a ding from my computer. I rushed to sit down in the chair and rolled my mouse to the flashing window at the bottom. Clicking the little box, I noticed it was an Email from Alice.

_**Hey Bella,**_

_**Disaster tonight so far. Edward's feeling all moody. I would have called again but I see you were too pissed to answer your cell phone. He just needs persuasion. A lot of it. I left you a present under your bed. Two boxes. He can't resist it. Trust me. **_

_**Be safe (Hehe), **_

_**Alice**_

I deleted the email and got on hands and knees to see what she left me. It was annoying and delightful that she knew him more than I did. I pulled the boxes out and placed them on the bed. I held my breath. If I knew Alice it would be something I would never wear. On the box there was a note: _The end justifies the means. _I raised an eyebrow and took off the top. I gasped. Definitely something I wouldn't wear. I held it up. Flimsy blue lace. It was cut in a bustier form with matching panties. I looked at the other garments in the box. Thigh high leggings. She MUST be crazy.

Well, if it works…

I tried them on and stood in front of the mirror. OMG. I tried to cover up but there was so much to cover. Was I going to be this shy in a few moments? I opened what appeared to be a shoe box and stared at the pumps inside. I can't even begin to walk in those. I would break my leg. I decided to put them on anyway. I tried not to clink them loudly on the floor while throwing the boxes in the closet.

This will work I convinced myself. It has to work. Just as I was thinking that, I tripped over my own feet. I cried out and fell face forward towards the floor. I braced myself to hit but I was suspended right before the ground. I caught my footing and stood up.

"Thanks." I blushed. This scenario happens too many times. "You always save me."

I stepped backwards and forgot about the bed. I flew back on it. A deeper blush flashed across my face. Could this get any worse? I looked at him and he seemed bewildered.

"I swear you are doing this on purpose, love." He gave me a smirk, but he held still. Ravaging me with his eyes.

"N-no. Not really." I grimaced.

He stood there, rigidly, his breathing coming fast and labored. His facial features softened and became wanton. He chuckled, and I noticed the bulging in his pants.

"Is this what you wanted?"

"Well, sort of." I got up on my knees and grabbed for him. I pulled on his shirt and he resisted for only a second then let me pull him to me. "I just.. need you. Please." I begged him and kissed his cheek, chin, then his lips.

"Bella, if I can't control myself I will leave. I can't bear to hurt you."

My hormones completely out of control I replied, "I know." I helped him lift off his shirt and twisted so he would be under my body on the bed. I wanted to do something to him that I saw in a porno I accidentally watched briefly in Charlie's room. I hoped I didn't screw it up by having one of my typical Bella moments.

"You look beautiful. I can't stop staring at you. Or touching you."

He squeezed my butt and tilted my head to kiss me, but I had other intentions. I put my hand over his mouth and shook my head no. He questioned me with his eyes until I kissed his muscular chest, biting one of his nipples on the way down. He noticeably sucked in a breath and moaned my name. I was unsure if I was doing the right thing when I got past his belly button and unbuckled his belt.

This is where it went wry last time and I hesitated. I had to keep going or this would never happen. I was so close. Unzipping his pants I started to pull them down and shockingly he didn't fight me. He lifted his hips and I pulled them off him. I was a little worried when I saw how large and thick he was.

I wrapped my hand around him and he sucked in another breath, his hand shot out and gripped my wrist.

"Bella, if we do this…I don't think I could stop. Tell me to go."

In response, I began to move my hand on him. His hold on my wrist slackened and his body slightly quivered. He was so cold to the touch, yet so warm. I stole a quick look at his face and he was so still. His eyes closed, and a moan-like growl escaped his lips when my tongue swirled around his head.

I heard a crushing sound and realized it was a piece of my headboard. I was glad he was enjoying it. I was doing something right for a change. I got bolder and slipped his head in my mouth. He began to beg me to stop. As if he couldn't stop me.

Alice had been right. He would love what I wore. It would be his demise. What I am doing right now will be his momentary shackles. He would give me what I want. What I hungered for.

I pushed the rest of his largeness into my mouth and I felt like some one else. I was a pro. I sucked him and tasted him, bobbing my head up and down. The faster I went, the deeper I pushed him, the more he would moan. My headboard was in shambles.

"Bella, god, Bella. You must stop. I can't.. we can't.. I'm going to-" His pleas held no force in them. As if he were saying it to assuage his guilt at letting it all get this far. He was more human now than he would admit. The only monster that raged inside him now was called Lust. His breath caught and he became wracked with shudders. "No! Not yet."

In a fluid movement, I was under him and he ripped away my clothing.

"I was starting to like that you know." I teased.

"Me too." Another rip sounded and there went my panties. "I'll leave the leggings and shoes on. " He said with a wink.

"Please hurry, Edward." I sort of whined it. "I'm ready."

As if he needed to check he spread my legs open more and probed me with his fingers.

"The scent of you right now is maddening." He withdrew his fingers and sucked on them.

His growl almost became a roar as he loomed over me and I felt his cool head against my raging fire. He slipped in and it took a minute to adjust. It ached. I closed my eyes and a tear slid down and he caught it with his finger.

With a curse he started to withdraw and I wrapped my legs around him.

"No, no, please no!"

I needed this.. There was no backing out. I began frantically kissing him all over, holding him inside me as much as I could. I was his undoing. He slid fully into me and started pumping slowly. He was shaking. I could tell he was trying to be gentle with me and I was unleashing the beast.

He moaned my name as his pace quickened. He was getting rougher with me. He pinned my wrists to the bed, as he thrust deeply in me. I arched my back. Straining to get even closer. It was crazy. Every emotion I thought I would have was multiplied by ten. It was like an out of body experience.

I was close to release. I could feel the tremors and I clenched on his shaft. Sending him into another mini-frenzy of forceful pumping. That was the death of me. I exploded and yelled his name in bliss. My fingernails dug into his shoulder and I couldn't stop the noises coming from me or the shuddering of my body.

I was brought back to reality when two hands framed my face. He was kissing me again and I covered them with mine. His eyes were glazed and half open.

"Bella.. My Bella." I could tell he was exploding just like I did. I could feel him jerk inside me and I some how, miraculously, burst with him. My contractions making his orgasm stronger. I held him tightly and his face lowered to the crook of my neck and he placed a tired yet satisfied kiss there as he collapsed.

The weight of him was welcoming and I smiled.

"I love you."

Shifting off of me, I immediately missed his weight. He frowned and inspected the damage.

"Your lips are purple."

I laughed, "It was obviously worth it."

He didn't smile at me. He slipped off the bed and grabbed his pants. Jerking them on with poorly concealed anger.

"Other parts of you are purple." I could hear the rage in his voice.

"Well, I match my sheets." I smirked. "Purple is the new pale white."

He whipped around. "Why do you always think it's funny? I could have killed you. Do you have any idea? Do you know how I very nearly lost control? I could have done worse to _you._ Not just your headboard!"

"But you didn't.."

"And never will again, Bella."

I sat back on the bed after I found my sleeping shirt and put it on. Humph. We'll see about that, won't we Alice? I thought with a smile as Edward disappeared out the window.


	2. School Seduction

EPOV:

I sped out of there like lightning. How the hell did that even happen? All my morals, all of my reasoning's, all thrown into the trash. I wanted to save myself for marriage. I had waited all these years for a girl like Isabella Swan, and her teenage lust corrupted everything I wanted for her, too. She had to have help. But from who? Who knew me as well as I knew myself?

With a startling realization, my eyes opened wide. There was one little, pixie haired, soon-to-be dead vampire on the loose who could be in cahoots. _Bella's my best friend. Oh, we are like sister's_. I recalled her saying. _I would do anything for Bella_. And that she did.

Busting through the door, I nearly startled Esme. I was sure she heard me coming. I didn't hide my anger. Lots of trees along the way could tell a tale or two about my temperament. Jasper came running down the stairs and growled at me. Alice right behind him, sort of hiding. But she was laughing at me. _No harm, no foul, Edward._

"Move out of my way, Jasper." I said, as I started to calm down. I flashed an angry look his way. "And stop all your mood-controlling crap! She has it coming." _Over my undead body_, he thought. "I can make it permanent for you if you like."

"Edward, what happened?" Esme's concern in her voice did more than Jasper ever could. She didn't want to see her children fighting. I wanted to answer her, but who wants to tell their mother intimate details like that? She wouldn't hear them from me.

"Why don't you ask Miss Pixie there."

I heard Jasper growl at me again. He was cursing too much in his mind.

Out the side of my eye I saw Rosalie and Emmett come in from the family room. Great, might as well make it a whole family affair. Emmett was unabashedly excited. _Haha, I wonder who'll throw the first punch. My money's on Edward, BUT against me he wouldn't have a chance. _I smirked.

_Eww. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb are fighting again. Where's the rabbit with the clock when you need him? _Rosalie was one of the many people I wish I couldn't hear. Or see. She just stood there, arms crossed. Too indignant for my liking. She was more annoying than the psychic, wanna be matchmaker and she rarely made sense. I let out a curse under my breath, then shot Esme an apology with my eyes.

"Well?" Esme asked, a frown upon her face.

"It's nothing really." Came the wind-chimed voice. My head snapped back to Alice, just as she pushed past Jasper. "It's OK. He won't do anything. You know Edward, all bark and no bite." I snorted at her playful dig at me for not turning Bella.

"Did you two plan that?! You knew obviously!" I sputtered, " How long did you know what she was going to do?!"

"A few days and not exactly." _I just helped. I had a vision.._

Every one stared at us like we had lost our minds. It annoyed them how we had our own little thing going. I enjoyed it, MOST of the time.

"I wanted it to be special. I wanted to be married!" I stopped speaking abruptly. Rarely did I catch myself up.

Emmet guffawed, "I take it someone's no longer a virgin. Bout time you tackled that tigress." He winked. "Did you eat her?" _You can answer that in both ways, if you want to, Brother._

Mental note: Kill him one day.

I turned away fuming. Subconsciously, I lifted my hand and sniffed my fingers. A slight burning made my throat ache and I swallowed. Her smell was so potent and the memories of what transpired in her room tonight…well, they were potent too. She will be the death of me. Without another word, I did exactly what I did to Bella. I left. I had to get out of there. I needed time to think and collect my thoughts. I needed to hunt. Definitely.

BPOV:

Class started 30 minutes ago and still no Edward. I looked down at my Biology test and frowned. Where had he gone? He never missed class on a rainy day. Never missed a test. He was avoiding me again. It had been a week since I had seen him. I couldn't sleep right with out him. I guess I can thank my horny teen angst for all of this trouble.

"Five minutes left, Miss Swan." Mr. Banner said, catching me daydreaming.

I blushed and quickly, finished it. I walked up to him just as the Bell rang and handed him my test.

"Remember, 5 page reports due on Friday." Every one filed out, muttering angrily. "Miss Swan?"

"Yes, Sir?" I slowly turned around, slumping my shoulders.

"I picked out a special topic for you." He held the yellow paper out and I took it. "Toxoplasma Gondii."

"Oh, great. Thanks so much." I huffed away to my locker.

_Stupid Biology. Stupid Mister Banner. Stupid Edward! _I was near tears when I shoved my book into my locker. Toxoplasma Gondii. He hated me it seemed. I slammed my locker and continued my mental onslaught. _Stupid sparkly vampire afraid of sex. Stupid me. Stupid Alice. Every one's stupid!_

I tripped over my untied shoe lace and knocked over someone. _Grr. Stupid vampire, not here to save me from humiliating myself! _I looked downwards to the face of the person I was sprawled across. I flamed red, awkwardly pushing myself up. Mike Newton. Out of every one in this school it would me my luck to land on the one who didn't really hide his like for me that much.

"Are you OK?" I asked him.

"Sure, sure. First the volley ball now you. I upgraded." A smile spread across his face when he stood up. "So…Bella.. I was thinking. Do you want to go out with me sometime? I know me and Jessica sort of have this thing and you and Cullen have your little fling, but I just never got the chance you know. We could just hang out, as friends. Or more. Whatever you like, I mean-"

I stopped listening to his incessant ramblings then. I saw Edward out the side of my eye watching me. His hands curled into fists. It made him jealous, me talking with this stupid little boy. He was jealous beyond belief. If he wasn't so pale I would have sworn he turned as green as the hulk.

He abandoned me. After all, couldn't I have taken that as a sign that he didn't want me any more? Did he think that I would pine away my life so easily for him? I cried every night. I searched for him. I even went to his house where they told me they hadn't seen him. Esme had looked so distraught and I must have looked defeated. I thought he was gone forever. Well, fine. I wasn't going to make it easy for him.

"I would love to Mike." I nodded and gave him a giddy laugh.

"What? Yes? Alright! Um, see you Saturday."

"See you!" I called after him. I started to walk back to class and Edward blocked my way.

"Bella.."

"Edward." I retorted. "Get out of my flippin' way!"

"You will not go out with him."

"You don't own me. I'm not yours," I lied poorly, trying to push past him. He was immovable. "Alright, I'll go around you." Just then the bell rang. I was late for my next class. I rushed past him and he grabbed my wrist.

"We need to talk. Now."

Before I knew it, we were in a janitor stock closet. I rolled my eyes, throwing down my book bag.

"What the hell." I whispered. "I can't keep missing class. Hurry up and talk."

I uttered the last word and he bent down and kissed me roughly. My body went liquefied and I slumped against him. He pushed me back against the wall and threw off his jacket. He ripped his lips away from mine and kissed down my throat. My senses were instantly heightened, but I was angry still. Gathering my strength I pushed him away.

"No." I said. "You can't just leave me and think everything is fine."

"Bella, don't-" He begged, when I started to turn the knob.

"No, _you_ don't. I'm out of here. The date with Mike stays."

With a growl he lunged at me and I was finally terrified of him. He grabbed my chin with one hand and made me kiss him. I didn't know what to do. He pushed me back in place and fumbled under my shirt. He squeezed my breast as hard as I could stand. I cried out against his mouth. This wasn't my Edward.

I bit his lip to stop him when he ripped my jeans from my body, followed by my panties. He placed me onto a ledge and forced my legs open. There went my bra and top. He was touching me so hard I would be more bruised than I was our first night of having sex. He was enraged.

"All..mine..Bella. No one else's." I stopped breathing when his cold fingers probed my opening. I couldn't help but to moan when I clenched on him. I half heartedly pushed on his shoulders, moving him off my lips.

"Stop, Edward, stop. I don't want this." He ignored me and pushed his fingers in deeper. Thrusting them faster and harder inside me. I closed my eyes against the shards of passion shooting through me. His lips were all over me; on my nipples, up to my shoulders, along my neck, back to my lips. The fire was licking my skin to a feverish height. I moaned against his lips. "Edward..please, not here."

"Come for me," he whispered shakily and slipped in another finger as he coaxed me. "Look at me."

My eyes opened, and his face watching me is what helped me let go. Afterward, I leaned my head against his chest and he held me as I shook with the force of it's strength. My groans a little loud, I tried muffling them into his skin. I was so weak. The orgasm had been very long. Intensified by his roughness and our argument. My eyes closed, I was so tired.

They snapped open when I felt the length of him slide inside of me. I was still spasming. It must have felt like I was milking him. He groaned low, almost inaudible and began his assault. I nearly screamed his name as he pumped me fast. He was rubbing my clit and I couldn't stay still or quiet.

"Jesus." He placed his free hand over my mouth. His breathing changed to rapid and his eyes closed from time to time. I could feel a shiver go through him. I moaned his name against his hand. He crushed off a piece of a metal bar and I understood how much he was restraining so as not to hurt me.

I shook his hand off my mouth and began sucking his finger.

"Oh, Bella." There was urgency in his voice and he closed his eyes and locked his jaw.

"No, Edward, look at me." I demanded of him between switching fingers.

It was the conclusion for the both of us. There goes the rest of that bar too, I noticed. He whispered my name over and over again ferociously like a litany. I threw back my head, holding him, clutching him to me. I needed to cry out. I muffled my screams into his shoulder. Bright lights danced behind my eyelids. It was too intense. Just like the first. I bit Edward.

After a few moments it was over and I blushed. At school. Wow. I stared at Edward disbelievingly. He was against the other wall, zipping his pants. I hopped down nearly twisting my ankle. I heard him chuckle at me.

"Nice view, Bella."

I looked down. Crap. I had no clothes. He ruined them all. I started to panic and I almost wanted to cry.

"Don't worry." He kissed my forehead and winked at me. "I stored some clothes for you in here."

"WHAT? HOW?"

"Keep it down, Bella. Do you want to get caught? " He handed them to me.

I shook my head no, pulling everything on fast. He handed me a brush for my hair.

"Thanks," I told him, some what confused. I watched as he grabbed the handle of the door.

"The bell is ringing in five minutes. No one will notice you so come out then OK?"

I nodded.

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yes…"

"You're not the only one that can use Alice's tricks."

He winked at me and headed out the door. I threw the brush, but it was too late**.**


	3. Can't Take It Back

**Author's note: I hope I don't put any one off by what will follow. I just see Edward and Bella a slight bit differently. Even perfect Edward is not so perfect. What happens when humanistic traits win out over vampire one's? Read and find out. As always, thank you for your time and oh yea, please review :)**

EPOV:

I watched Bella sleep that night even though she was still mad at me. It was the cutest thing in the world. She was upset and it showed. She was all over the place, tossing and turning. She even kicked and hit me a few times. It didn't hurt me. I am quite certain that it will hurt her in the morning though. Her hand would be black and blue. It would match the rest of her.

"I hate you, Edward." I heard her say. She mumbled something unintelligible after it. She whimpered and flicked her hand out across my waist. A pang of guilt stabbed me sharp in the stomach. I hurt her more than I thought.

OK, that was a mean trick I played on her but she wasn't innocent either. I just intended to give her back some of the bitter pill she forced me to swallow. I looked down at her arm and realized how I gave her a huge, bitter horse pill. Her bruises were massive. I looked at my hand and placed them over the bluish purple ovals at the same angle. She sniffled against me and a tear escaped from under her closed eyelids.

I sighed deep, and I felt like crying. I couldn't of course, so I settled for kissing the top of her head and pulling her close. I guess my jealousy got the best of me. Was I not better than the guys who tried to harass her that night in Port Angeles? Did I not start out doing exactly what they thought of doing? And she says I'm not a monster. Yea…right.

"Don't..don't go away again…" Her hand twisted in my shirt.

Confirmed.

I ran my hand across her cheek and whispered 'I love you'.

"I love you, too." Her voice was thick with unshed tears.

I had to take a break again and I would be back by the time school started. I just needed to go away and clear my head. I needed to ask advice from someone who doesn't know Bella. I needed a different view. I had to go now. For her sake.

I scooted away from her, placing her arm around the pillow I had been laying on.

----------------

I trudged through the knee deep snow, shaking the flakes off my head. I took my time walking here. During that time I played over the last few days. It was so complicated being with Bella, but I wouldn't want to be with out her. I wasn't good for her, that was obvious. Heroin had nothing on her. She was the worst addiction I had ever had in my life. As if wanting human blood wasn't enough.

Stepping up onto the porch, I kicked off the snow and my hand lifted to knock, but suddenly the door swung open. My heart sunk and I noticed it was Tanya. I was really looking for Carmen. She gave really good advice. I could smell and hear that she was no where around. I was totally pre-occupied with the thoughts of Bella. Not once did I hear Tanya's thoughts before now.

_Hello, Mr. Rude. _She blinked at me and crinkled her nose.

"Hello, Tanya."

"About time. I hate awkward silences." She jokingly pushed my shoulder. "Want to come in?"

"No. It's OK. I will just sit on the steps." I turned and plopped down, hanging my head.

_Why are you here? You know this ..is..so weird._

I chuckled. "My apologies. I was looking for Carmen. I needed advice."

I heard her sit down next to me.

"They are gone for a few days. They decided to go to Maui. I decided to stay. Lucky you. Besides I give as good advice as any."

I snorted. "Non-biased?"

"If that's what you need. Yes." She looked at me. Her eyes sincere enough.

I shifted my weight. Very human like and she noticed.

_Just talk to me, Edward. _

"Well, there's this girl.." I watched her stiffen. "She's human and I'm in love with her."

"You're in love with a human? You? Mr. Untouchable like Elliot Ness.." I threw a snow ball at her and she ducked. "Just kidding, but in all seriousness, and?"

"I hurt her when we… you know." If I could have blushed I would of.

"Get out!" She laughed and slapped my shoulder. "You seemed so high and mighty. As they say 'Oh how the mighty hath fallen'."

I ignored her taunts. "How..how do you guys not hurt the men? Is it hard?"

"Oh, it's very hard. But, it get's better with practice. Lots and lots and lots of it, but I'm thinking about dating a vamp guy." Her eyes mirrored hope. "So I don't have to worry about breaking some one's ribs."

"It get's that bad? I shifted through some images and the outcomes looked gruesome. I lost some hope while her eyes gained them. Bella was my drug and if it's like that with out that aspect, how could I handle it with it?

_You know my answer to that._ I crunched some snow in my hand and threw it so hard it splintered a tree. Bella and I were hopeless. I closed my eyes in defeat.

Tanya's lips touched mine and I knew that I shouldn't kiss her back, but I did. Everything was so confusing. It was all so painful, so unbearable. I just wanted to forget for this one moment in time. To not think at all and just enjoy what was being offered so freely. To not hurt the one I'm with.

At this very moment I didn't want to think, I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to feel normal. I was at first tender with Tanya but she deepened the kiss and slipped her tongue into my mouth. I sucked on it. She smoothly straddled my lap and hungrily took my mouth. Her strawberry blonde hair cascading around us.

_Just let go. I won't break. _

I pushed Tanya off my lap and sat her down onto the snow. I sat next to her and yanked down her blouse. My mouth claimed one of her willing breasts. I had to forget Bella. I needed to. I couldn't be in her world. Yet again I proved that I was a mess. She clouded my reasoning, my thoughts, all of my senses. My ability to be..well..normal. Even though I wasn't exactly that in the first place.

Tanya's hand fisted in my hair, her back arched. I could be uninhibited and I liked that. I bit her nipple and she asked for more. She didn't wince away from my strength. She wouldn't turn into a vampire. She wouldn't break. She was just willing.. for me. I didn't have to hold back anything.

I could hear her thoughts, what a pleasant change. I knew what she wanted and expected out of me. I could please her that way. I rubbed her between her legs through her silk underwear. My hand slipped into them and I massaged her clit the way I did to B…

I shook my head. Focus. Tanya shifted her hips and my finger slipped inside of her. _I want more. More. Let me show you. _Her chest rose and fell rapidly and I cheated a bit by delving into her mind. She wanted me to just tear off her underwear and let her take me. She wanted me to forget and I did too.

I did as she asked. She regained her position on my lap, but this time she made sure I was hard and unclothed.

"No regrets.." I couldn't agree. I was unsure. I wasn't fully into this like I thought I would be. I wanted to stop. I wanted to graciously bow out no w. I think she sensed it and she dropped down onto where I unmercifully throbbed. This was unfair to her. Every one will end up hurt. I would hurt them both regardless.

At once, she became a wild cat. Her hands on my shoulders dug into my flesh as her body began to move. _Finally, and he feels so grand. Like I thought he would. _She bent over me to kiss me again and I couldn't help but to let loose a growl. She felt as good as Bella. An image of my love with her mouth open moaning my name battered me and I closed my eyes.

"Bella.." I whispered.

Tanya stopped and I opened my eyes just as she smacked me. If I was human my jaw would have shattered. Her lip quivered and she looked so disheveled. The same look Bella had given me when I had left her. I opened my mouth to say something but she refused to listen.

"I hate you!" She spat. "Go! Leave! Go back to Bella." It wasn't all true. She wanted me to stay. But I had used her in the worst way. To forget about someone else. My intentions once sincere turned into a nightmare.

BPOV:

I couldn't breathe. I grabbed for Edward when I screamed from my nightmare. I squinted in the dark. He was no where to be found. I heard Charlie run from his room and knock on my door. I put my hand through my hair. Where was he?

"Bells? You alright in there?" The worry emanated from his voice.

"Uh..yea, Dad." I went to the door and peered out. "Just a nightmare."

Relief consumed him. "You scared the crap out of me. As usual."

"Yea, well, I'm alright now."

"Get some sleep. You've got school in a few hours."

"I will. Thanks." I shut the door and ran to the dresser to grab my cell phone.

"Looking for me…"

I jumped. He was always startling someone. My phone landed back on the dresser.

"Where'd you go?" I eyed him suspiciously. He looked as if he were guilty of something.

"I needed to go.. You were having nightmares. I was hurting you in them."

I lowered my eyes. Indeed, I had been having horrific nightmares of him killing me, or leaving again, or leaving to be with someone else..

"I take it I was talking in my sleep again."

His face fell, "We need to talk."

"Don't. Not now. Don't do this now. I know what you are going to say." My voice rose a few octaves in hysteria. "After school. Just for now..hold me."

The stupid tears were about to erupt again. I felt suffocated. Was I even breathing? My legs went weak and I swayed. He was going to leave me. I wasn't good enough for him. Just clumsy. Clumsy Bella. I felt like I was floating. His concerned face was fading away into the night, just like in my dream. I lost the fight against the darkness and fainted.


	4. The Count Down To The End :part 1:

**This chapter will be a little longer than normal. Sorry guys, but hopefully it is worth the read ****J I will divide it into 2 parts. Shout out to TEAMBELLAEDWARD for my first review. This one's for u!**

**EPOV: **

I held Bella in my arms on the bed. She had been passed out over twenty-five minutes and I was beginning to feel the panic set in. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She stirred. That was a good sign. I berated myself for causing her so much pain and then I realized how much of it she would be in when she realized what kind of cad I was. If I had a beating heart it would have stopped. Bella. My poor Bella, look at what I have become.

I felt more for her now than before. I loved her so deeply, but I made an incomprehensible mistake. One that wouldn't go away. By now I was sure Alice knew. She would give me a tongue-lashing like no other. And Esme. I hope she never finds out. Didn't I cause her and Carlisle enough trouble in the past? Of course they loved me and will forgive me again. I was their son. But could Bella?

To say I had been confused was extraordinarily lacking from my true feelings. I was discouraged. I had so much hate for myself. I was strong enough not to kill my beloved but not smart enough to stay away from carnal pleasures? Cheating can't take it back pleasures. Unwillingly, my eyes closed and I saw Tanya over me and all my senses came flooding. Lust. Dishonesty. Guilt. Impureness. Lust. More Lust. I was unsure of why I felt this way.

Well, I was changed. Sleeping with her had changed everything that I held about me. Faithfulness. I had lost all self respect and soon I would lose Bella's respect. She would break up with me and then I would be alone again. Like I deserved. Left to grieve like I know she will in coming times. I hated myself more than any one could ever hate me. I was a fucking fool.

She moved again and I watched her face. I touched her cheek and she turned into it. Her eyes flew open and she looked up at me. There was so much fear and doubt in her eyes. She stared at me with uncertainty, biting her bottom lip in worry. I didn't want to speak and break the silence but what was there left to do. School was in an hour.

"I have to go now, Bella." A whine snuck out from her but she stopped it quickly. "I have to go wash and change. Then I will be back here to pick you up for school."

"Hmm, OK." She appeared upset with me.

"Bella, I'm not leaving you." My face turned to stone. "After school we need to talk though. It's fairly important."

In return, she hugged me tight. Her face implanted into my shirt. My brain ached from thinking too much. What would I even say? How much would I even disclose? Would she ask for details? Hell I wouldn't want to know if it were me. No matter what happened with it would be hell.

"You smell like Rose water." I froze.

"Huh?" I watched as she sat upward.

"You smell like Esme." She giggled. Relief washed over me. Damn women's perfume.

"Oh. Ohh, yea. I went home for a bit." Standing up, I released her and placed her feet on the floor. "Remember, 45 minutes."

I turned to go but she grabbed me and gently placed her lips to mine. I welcomed her mouth and I pulled her closer. _You cheating bastard. Still you throw yourself deeper into hell. _I stopped kissing her and stepped back. Dropping my hands, I frowned.

"Get ready for school." Without another word, I left.

* * *

As soon as I opened the door, as I knew, Alice stood there. She was close to being irate because she was shaking in her newly bought clothing. Her face screwed up in an unnatural position of loathing. I bent my head. I felt so ashamed about all of this. _Stupid fucking dumb ass! How could you do that to her? Of all the people Edward, I never thought you would stoop that low! And with Tanya. Tanya! My Lord. _I let her continue her barrage of insults.

"I don't know…" I relented as I walked into the den. I slumped into a chair my hands over my face. I leaned forward.

"Do you know what she's going to do when she finds out?" She barked. I threw down my hands flabbergasted.

"No, I can't read her mind or see her future, _Alice_. Of course, I don't know, _Alice_. I don't know anything any more because I'm a 'stupid fucking dumb ass' hmm, _Alice_. How about this. Fuck you, Alice!" Every time I said her name she cringed. I didn't mean to say it so distastefully but she couldn't make me feel any more inadequate.

"She would be thinking up ways to kill herself." My head snapped up. "Don't..don't tell her, Edward."

"I have to tell her.."

"Why? You didn't give a flying turkey feather about her when you were boning the hell out of Tanya."

"It's what's right!"

"Right? Right? What was right would be for you to keep your d-" She stopped short with a huff.

My eyes fell politely and I stood.

"As much as I would like to keep with this delightful conversation, I must take my leave now. I have to pick up Bella."

"I see you are going to still tell her."

"Yes." Is all I said drifting up the stairs and into the shower.

BPOV:

Edward was acting curiously. Something was definitely amiss. If he wasn't leaving me then what was his issue? He looked sad. Maybe there was something happening at home that he didn't want to tell me. Or the townspeople were talking about them again. Maybe he killed a human. No, no, he wouldn't do that. He let go of that life a long time ago. Then what was it?

I walked outside and Edward was by his car's passenger door. He held it open waiting for me. I looked at him and nodded a thanks. He smiled, even though it was a very minute one. His eyes looked drained and the circles under them seemed to darken. Whatever it was, the love of my life was not happy.

We rode all the way to school in a tension filled silence. I was more curious now. We always talked and had fun. We joked about how people reacted whenever they saw us together. Even though we were together, day after day. It never stopped being the talk of the town.

My date with Mike was coming up soon, and I grimaced. I unquestionably wasn't going to go on it. I decided I was going to tell him today. We pulled up into the parking lot next to his car. He had been waiting for me it seemed. Edward snorted almost quietly.

"I'll meet you inside?" I lifted my eyebrow.

"Oh, no. I'm going to be here for this." Slight amusement filled his voice. His half smile lit his face up.

"Hey, Bella! I picked out our activities for Saturday. I was thinking that we could go down to La Push and swim or something. Or we could just walk on the beach. OR we could go into Port Angeles and grab a bite to eat at one of those fancy restaurants. _OR_ we could just chill out at my house. Catch a movie and eat nachos. You know hang out…"

I rolled my eyes when I stepped out of the car. "Really, Mike, no thank you. I changed my mind."

"Oh, still with Cullen then." He said more of a statement than a question.

I looked at him apologetically. "Sorry, I just said yes because I felt bad, but you should ask Jessica. Actually, anyone else. You're a great guy, you're just not for me."

Across from me the smirk that Edward had on disappeared. How strange. He looked tortured again. I rolled my eyes. Tortured. Happy. Tortured. Sad. Tortured and tortured. Edward, give it up. He was always so mysteriously annoying since I've known him. I've grown to love it though, but at first it was infuriating.

Mike seemed almost near tears and then shot an ostentatious glare to Edward. "Cullen." He said and walked away. Well, more like stormed away cursing the day all the Cullen's were born and me. Hmm, He considered me one of them. Interesting. _Well, don't you? _Yes, I guess I do.

Alice and I were like Sister's. Emmet was like a way bigger older brother. Rosalie, she was more complicated and more like the sibling you had a lot of rivalry with. Jasper stayed away from me most of the time doing his own thing with Alice usually. Esme and Carlisle were like super parents. I smiled. And Edward, well, he was definitely my boyfriend because if not then there would be too many incestuous thoughts running through my mind.

I followed Edward into the school. Again no words. Jessica came running up to me giggling but eyed Edward. Almost scared. I didn't dare look at his face right now.

"Like Oh my gosh! You should see how pissed off Mike is today. It's all over the school that he had a date with you. You turned him down right now, didn't you?" I nodded. She leaned in closer to me. "So are you and Edward Cullen still an item?" I nodded again. "Hmm, okay. I thought so. It's sooo obvious. Well, see you in class."

I watched her skip off to the group of girls waiting for her. I'm sure that she was gossiping as always. I shrugged and put my arm around Edward's waist. He seemed stiff as we walked along then we stopped abruptly. Guess we are here. English. Yay. I hugged Edward extra long and with out a word dipped inside. I took a quick glimpse at him, his head hung low, before the door shut behind me.

EPOV:

I definitively needed my ass kicked. She knew I wasn't being myself. I couldn't be. I wasn't that person any more due to faults of my own. I was a bigoted, phony, lying cheat. It hit me then. I wasn't attracted to Tanya at all. I didn't really want her either. It was the simple fact that I couldn't hurt her coupled with it all happening so fast. I didn't know what hit me. My brain was as frozen that night as the icy plains. I didn't want to hurt Bella so I turned to someone I couldn't hurt. Unintentionally, but I did it all foolishly none the less.

It was all about fear.

But now what? Don't I have fear now? I loved Bella more than anything in this world. I couldn't live with out her. But I did the worst thing. How could I? I'm still trying to figure this crap out. I wanted to be human so badly and at horrible costs. I didn't think it would get to this low of a point of sleeping around. I just lost my virginity not too long ago and now I'm just as bad as every jock in this school. I'm being ruled by my cock.

I didn't feel like going to my classes today. I couldn't go to Biology because of our second blood typing project. I guess I would linger around and keep a track on Bella. I would make an appearance at lunch just to tell every one that I was going home. Alice undoubtedly will know why. I needed to tell Bella. I would pick her up from school and then..then I would relay last nights events.

I was going to escape to the meadow, our meadow, when I heard my name blare from the school speakers. The hallway was clear so I rushed to the office. There sat Bella nearly passed out, yet again. I laughed. I should have known. I had been so messed up about myself that I forgot all about her inability to deal with blood. How would she ever cope when she becomes a vampire? No, IF, I mentally corrected.

She was so pale. More than normal, and Ms. Cope was running around trying to fetch some water like a chicken with its head cut off. Bella opened an eye and peered at me. Such a faker. Now, I had no doubt that she was sickened by the blood but she was playing it up. She just wanted out of school too. With me. How sweet…

"Oh, there you are!" _Mmmm, mmm, he get's more handsome every hour. Oh, my god, hush you silly bat. _"I can't get a hold of Chief Swan. Would you mind taking her home, since you both are so squeamish with blood?"

I gave her a bedazzling smile, "Oh, no, I am obliged. You are looking nice today." Bella almost gave away her ruse by shifting too quickly.

_No, No, I mustn't. He's so young! Get control of your self. _"Well, just, take the rest of the day. I mean, it's OK. I will just let every one know."

"Why thank you." I beamed.

"N..No problem at all…" Her hand fell to her rapidly rising and falling chest as if she were trying to physically slow her pitter pattering heart.

_You damn fool. Always about you. I like Bella damn it! Fuck, Edward, you want to always be the martyr! She will absolutely HATE you. Well, OK, she won't, but __I__ will!_

My head snapped around and I caught the brief look of hate on Alice's face as she skittered by the office door.

_Go ahead, tell her fool._

I lifted Bella into my arms, and Ms. Cope was wishing I was holding her. I chuckled low. Not a chance in hell. I wouldn't have any one to hold after all this is done with. I would be a single, lonely mess. So would Bella. I cringed at the images I was receiving while walking out into the hallway. Even more so as Bella held onto me. At that very moment I got the same image except she was balling her eyes out. This would be more torture than I have ever felt in my life!


	5. The Count Down To The End :part 2:

**TY for your reviews**

Still EPOV:

We sat on the couch again, the very place where this sexual crap all started. And where everything would end. I stared at Bella, she sat with her arms crossed. I was memorizing her beautiful face, her hair, her clothes. Everything I could. I remembered all the good things we shared.

"Talk Edward, it's been two hours…"

I looked at the clock. I didn't realize the time. She watched me warily and I knew this was as good a time as any. If the road to damnation was easier to walk, I would rather do that for all eternity than what I needed to do. I could see it so clear, the heart break. Not only hers, but mine too. She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Bella, I don't..know how to..say this." I admonished.

"Just say it. You're leaving me." She rebuffed.

"No. I promised I would not."

"You don't want to ever turn me.."

"No, not that." I wanted to punch a hole in the wall.

"You're-"

"Just let me speak!" The anger for myself burst out of me startling her enough to where she dropped my hand. My eyes quickly dissipated that emotion. "I'm sorry, Bella...I'm...not pissed off with you. You are my one good thing in this world. Remember that."

She stared up at me with the most beautiful eyes and I knew that if I were human I would break down and cry every last tear I had. She trusted me so much and it was unwarranted. I kept letting her down. We would play the cat and mouse game until I gave in. If I felt she would be better off with out me, I went away. Everything I did was for Bella's benefit. But this would benefit no one. No one at all.

"Listen to me. Don't comment until I am through. Unless I ask you otherwise. Can you do that?" At her reluctant bob of her head I continued. "Well, remember the family I told you we had …" She bobbed her head again. "The one, Tanya, I told you about…?"

"Yes…"

"That night you were having a nightmare. I was hurting you in it. You said you hated me. I was too rough with you in the closet at school and that never should have happened. I didn't mean to cause you all of this." Her eyes widened and then lowered. "I bruised your arm when I grabbed you. I was so jealous of you going out with Mike. I had been walking along with Alice when she got the vision and I told her my intentions. If I played them out a certain way, if you would give in or fight me. I just wanted you to know I would never rape you. I already knew you would let me touch you however I wanted despite your protests. That being said, it's not the reason why I've been acting so weird lately…"

"I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, Edward…"

"Please, let me finish." I wonder if vampire's could have panic attacks. "I left you that night and I went to Denali…I was looking for Carmen. I needed to get an opinion from someone. It helps me when I don't know what to do. You know how much I beat myself up for everything that I inflict upon you…I wanted to hear advice not from the usual people. My family adores you. I needed a dose of reality. I ran into Tanya instead. We talked and then..I don't know how it happened Bella."

"You don't know what?" She was confused.

"I slept with Tanya."

All the air sucked out of the room. I heard Bella's heart stop for a fraction of a second and I sensed she was possibly going into shock. Her breathing became raspy and her lips quivered. I am sure she was going over that last phrase over and over again. She was most likely thinking she couldn't possibly of heard me correctly.

"You didn't. No, you _wouldn't_ do that to me." Her voice became almost shrilly. Her eyes darted back and forth like a mad person's.

"Bella…" I moved to grab her into my arms and hug her to me. I just wanted to take her pain away. Needed to. She moved away, and off the couch, holding her hands out in front of her.

"Don't..don't touch me." Her voice was choked up with the tears that she would soon shed.

"Bella, my love."

"No, no, no. Don't call me that." She began pacing back and forth. Was she going crazy? "You, get out." I tried to plead with her and hold her again. She darted quickly away from me. "Get out now!"

My hands fell to my sides. "I never meant to hurt you Bella."

"Yea, well, too late for that. Did you think of that when you were…" Her shoulders shook and she gripped the back of the couch. "Just leave…for now..please..I don't beg much but I need you to go.."

I did what she asked. I didn't want to go but I was caught in a Catch-22. How can you console the person hurting if you were the culprit? I backed up to the door. As much as it would kill me to go, I knew I needed to give her time. I would be back tomorrow.

"I love you Bella…"

BPOV:

He loves me.. I watched him leave and my mind shattered. He slept with someone else. My life was a complete joke. I wanted to give up and die. The hurt was beyond belief. I had given everything to Edward. He took my body, but not my soul. It was hopeless. Maybe I wasn't pretty enough. I couldn't compete with a female vampire. They were flawless. I was a dud.

My legs wouldn't work anymore and I slid down the side of the couch. The sobs came and I was in no shape to stop them. I was not good enough for Edward. I could never be in this form. What did she have that I didn't? Well, killer looks for starters. A nicer body perhaps, like Rosalie's. Here I was, a gangly toothpick.

I cried for hours. So spent that I could barely move. I wished I could stop breathing and perish. Every thing I thought of led me to one thing. I couldn't do that to Charlie. No matter how much I hated it, I would have to live for him. Well, you could die of a broken heart. I would just have to wait it out. Seeing Edward every day at school from here on out would give me cardiac arrest.

The phone rang non stop until I decided to pull myself up out of my stupor to answer it. I was defeated. There were no more tears left. Maybe they got sucked down into the black hole where my heart used to be. I picked up the receiver.

"Yes..Swan residence." My voice sounded so lifeless and croaky.

"Jeez, Bella, been callin' you for an hour straight." I recognized the voice but it just wouldn't register.

"Who are you looking for?" I was so befuddled. What was going on?

"Uh..you alright over there? It's me. Jacob. Jake, your best bud from the rez. The one and only Jakester." He laughed at his corniness.

"Oh, right..Hi Jake."

"You OK?" He asked again.

"Yea, I'm fine." My voice betrayed me and I nearly fell apart again right there.

"I'll be right over." His tone was serious.

"No, Jacob, please, just stay there."

"No way. You sound like you need a friend. Besides we haven't been hanging out much since you got all serious with ya boyfriend Edward. It'll be fun."

At the mention of his name I started crying.

"Whoa..yea, will be there right now."

I heard the phone click and I didn't hang it up until I heard the dial tone. I stood there staring at the phone on hook. My mind lost and in outer space. A knock sounded at the door and it brought me back. I turned to see who it was. Jake was here. Already? How long had I been standing there?

"It..it's unlocked.." I muttered.

I know I looked like crap from the way he was ogling me. I felt aged. Like I was an old woman. I swayed, I was so dizzy. I realized I wasn't breathing and I quickly took a deep breath. He took my arm and led me to the couch. I couldn't sit there. Too many memories. I didn't want to go to my room either.

"Take me to Charlie's room. I just need to have a change in scenery. Maybe it will help."

I leaned on him for support. The stairwell was spinning so quickly he practically had to carry me up them.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, yea, my room's not that tidy right now." I lied. He didn't need to know why I didn't want to go in there.

"Well then." He was amused. He held me by the waist and an arm, then placed me on the side my dad's bed. I watched as he sat next to me and I conscientiously looked down at my wringing hands. "What's the matter, Bella?"

I didn't want to talk. I wanted this to end. I needed some comfort and solace. I needed a hug. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck and I cried. This hurt too much and I just couldn't tell him. I didn't want to utter those words to any one. He let me cry as long as I needed. He sat there quietly holding me. Is this what Edward felt like? Helpless. Like nothing would ever be right again when you feel like you messed everything up?

I kissed Jacob, before I even realized I had. His lips were soft and he returned it ardently. I just wanted someone to want me. Only me. Forget about everything else right now. He had always liked me. He didn't even date. He said he would always be my friend.

I scooted back a bit on the bed and pulled on the lapels of his shirt.

"Bella this is your father's room…I mean, come on." He covered my body with his and I cut him off with another kiss. He was so warm. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. God, I needed him closer. I wrapped my leg around his hip and pushed a hand into his pants. He wanted me, only me.

He reared his head up. "What about Edward? This is a little bit too weird for me."

"What about him?" I stroked him inside his pants, silencing any other objections. I snatched up Jacob's hand and put it on my breast. "Just touch me. Make me feel good." He was doubting it all. I could see but as I expected lust won out. It always won. I won over Edward. Tanya won over Edward. Now it will win over Jacob.

He pawed at my breast and my nipple began to throb. I wanted to forget. I needed to forget. It felt so good. He was now kissing down my neck and I shook. My clit was pulsating. I removed my hand from his erection and he lifted up just enough for me to unbutton my pants. I shimmied them off and began unbuttoning my shirt. His eyes glistened. He was probably getting his favorite dream in full blown reality. He threw his shirt off and rolled off me to take off the rest of his clothing. As I watched him I unhooked my front clasping bra and slid off my panties.

He stood there stark naked in front of me. I blushed but couldn't take my eyes off of him. I never thought much of how good he would look with out his clothes on. I was underappreciating Jacob big time. He took me in and I watched his penis harden even more. I waited for him to continue but he just stared at me.

"I don't have a condom. I didn't expect this." He admitted.

"It's OK. I don't care."

"I'm not a virgin…" He said low. I shrugged at that. I wasn't either.

"Just ..make me feel better.."

The fight was over. He had given in just like Edward had. I closed my eyes before the tears would come. Forget about Edward. Don't think, just feel. I spread my legs so Jacob could get access. I waited. Nothing. I was about to open my eyes when I felt something slick and wet brush across where I ached so unmercifully. Before I could stop myself I moved my hips against what ever it was. I wanted more of it.

I let out a loud gasp. "Oh." My eyes opened half way and I peered downward. Jacob was watching me. He was doing something unthinkable. Something that E.._He_..could never do. I watched as his tongue flew out again and brushed across me and my head flew back down to the pillow. It was a feeling I couldn't even describe.

He delved deeper with his tongue, past my clit and inside of me. Holding my legs open he continued driving me wild. My hand flew to his hair and I couldn't help it. I wildly grasped a fist full of it. I bucked my hips toward his mouth. Whatever he was doing was making me feel like I was in an inferno.

Gone were any thoughts of _Him._ Only Jacob and his mind-altering mouth held my thoughts now. I probably sounded like an alley cat in heat. I heard the echo of the sounds being forced out from my lips. I couldn't stop them, no matter how much I wanted to. I was so close_._

My body started convulsing every once and a while and I opened my legs farther. I wanted more. I was so aflame. I peered down at him again. His eyes were closed and he was moaning into me. That was it. I would break into a bazillion pieces right now. His mouth began sucking on my nubbin, then after a few seconds he was clicking his tongue over it again.

"Jacob..Jacob! Oh.._Jake_!"I went. The catapulting orgasm nearly lifted me off the bed. My head was tossing about. I couldn't say anything but his name. The shudders continued. I watched him lay over me through my near closed eyelids. He fit perfectly between my legs.

He obviously was trying to control himself when he slid inside of me. His mouth was parted open and he was watching my face. He was large, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He began to move and by instinct I began kissing him again. Jacob was doing a very good job at distracting me. His mouth began moving every where. It was inciting me even more. He was pushing inside of me slowly, but getting pretty deep. Jacob was a very experienced lover. Absently I wondered how many girls he had in his bed and where I would rank. I quickly shook those thoughts out of my head.

He moaned against my breast, suckling on my nipple. He nibbled it a bit before swirling his tongue on it. His movements became more forceful. His mouth upon mine, his tongue mimicking his cock inside of me. Thrusting, circling, pulling nearly out, repeating.

Jacob put my legs upon his shoulders and I realized how that put him even deeper. I never imagine that even possible, or that I was so flexible. Sweat was shining on Jacob's forehead and I realized I was sweating too. He was going so much faster now. His moans mingling with my own. I didn't know who was louder, me or him.

"Bella.. I'm going to cum. What do you want me to do?" His voice was shaky and cute. He was giving me the option of having him pull out. Some girls preferred it I heard from Jessica but I didn't want to even consider it. He wasn't the only one near the end. I couldn't bear for him to leave now. I moved into his thrusts as much as I could. Telling him with my body what I wanted.

And it happened. We came together. My insides were melting. I thought I felt him shoot inside of me but I wasn't sure. It was warm, if that was so. He continued moving a bit slowly until he stilled on top of me. My legs fell back down to the bed and he disconnected himself with me.

My breathing slowed, and I held my eyes closed. I was aching down below, a dull ache. Empty feeling. I had just used Jacob. I felt so shallow about it. This wasn't me. He was my best friend. What would I say to him now? 'Oh hey Jacob, Edward cheated so you're second on the list. Congratulations. Oh by the way. I don't love you or anything. Thanks for coming by when I needed you. Ciao.'

"Bella." His voice was quiet, almost shy.

"Yes, Jacob?"

"Was that good? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"You didn't hurt me."

"Then why are you crying?"

I was? I swiped a hand across my cheeks. I really was. Just great. I was such a weak person. I just wanted to be held but in the end I made love to my best friend who just so happened to be a guy who was in love with me. I did exactly what Edward did to me.

I felt whoreish. I sat up and quickly rummaged through the pile on the floor. Where the hell were my pants? I didn't want to look at Jacob. I was beyond ashamed of myself. I understood right now exactly what happened between Edward and Tanya. I wondered if it had been that good. It shouldn't have been so good to me. Remembering the school tryst I realized strong emotions had a great influence on sex. That had to be it. I found my panties, but no pants. I was growing so frustrated. I stood up and put them back on and fixed everything else.

"They are right there." I looked where Jacob pointed. How did they get all the way over there?

After becoming fully dressed, I straightened the sheets on the bed. They got crinkled during the process. I didn't notice Jacob get dressed. I was trying to keep busy. I stopped when his arms wrapped around me from behind. His hands dipped into my pants. Despite myself, I became instantly wet and leaned back against him. I let him rub me and he sucked on my neck.

"Was this a mistake?" That was a perfect question. I was wondering that myself. Of course it was, wasn't it? I loved Edward. That never changed. "Does he make you feel as good as this?" When had Jacob become such a smooth talker? "Did he make you cream yourself on your dad's bed?" I blushed, definitely not.

"Jacob, don't, Charlie will be home soon.." I tried to eject his hand but it was futile. I leaned back against him, and he held me by the waist.

"Just let go, one last time." He rubbed me expertly and he got his wish. I blushed deeper then.

"We should go downstairs and act like none of this ever happened." That did it. He removed his hand faster than he had put it in there. I faced him to apologize.

"When did you become such a slut, Bella?" He threw at me.

Immediately I saw him want to take it back but I ran past him and down the stairs. He was right. I was. How else could I explain the things we did in that room. My father's room no less. Only a loose girl would do such a thing. My shoulders shook with the strength of my silent tears. How could I even be mad at Edward now…

Jacob's boots thudded against the stairs as he ran down them after me. He caught me and gave me a huge hug.

"I didn't mean that. Forgive me?" Forgive him? I was the one who needed forgiving.

"Only if you do the same for me."

"Done." He smiled at me and brushed my tears away. I cried too much. I studied his face. It was real. He was over with being mad but I could still tell his pride was wounded a bit. "Why were you crying in the first place?"

"I..uh..Edward and I had a major fight."

"And I was the pick you upper? Only cost you $19.95 plus tax." I laughed. He was so silly. Just what I needed right now. "You want me to fight him for your honor?"

"Nope. I think it's tarnished now anways." I jokingly quipped back. I sort of really felt that way.

"Well, I have to get home before my own Dad has a cow. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." I couldn't help all this darn blushing. "That too, Bella.. I want you happy next time I see you."

I could only nod. He tried to kiss me but something was different. I couldn't. He sighed and let me go.

"Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Jake."

I closed the door behind him. I heard exactly what I didn't want. Silence. All the thoughts came at once. Me and Edward were done. I loved him but could we forgive each other? Did I even want to forgive him this? It was a horrible finish to this bitter end.


	6. The End

**Special thanks to teambellaedward, BrOnTe, and xxxlookingformyedwardxxx for your reviews****. If you have any requests let me know and I will try my best to accommodate u.**

**BPOV:**

I rolled my eyes as I picked up the dishes. Char…Dad was watching another football game. I made low-calorie beef stew and homemade sourdough bread for dinner and he seemed to like it good enough. I couldn't eat. I felt sick. Tomorrow wasn't coming soon enough. I huffed and picked up dad's plate and bowl. I slowly walked into the kitchen, and realized how sore I was from Jacob. A blush steamed my face. Edward had made me even worse than this.

Placing the dishes into the sink I stared out the window. I had so much hope that Edward would come tonight, but I doubt he would. Well, actually, part of me needed him here, the other part needed him to stay away from me. I had to think of what I wanted to say to him about Jacob. We were both as guilty as the other.

I washed the dishes quickly and placed them on the rack to dry. Finally the timer on the oven went off, the berry cobbler was done. I placed it on the stove and found a cooking utensil to ladle a few spoonfuls into a new bowl. It smelled good. Maybe I could eat a few bites later if my stomach would allow it.

I went to the fridge and pulled out the vanilla bean ice cream and whip cream. I know I was overdoing it after all the hell that I gave my father about eating more healthy but I figured one time wouldn't hurt. Plus, I just didn't feel like fighting with any one tonight. I took a big scoop and placed it on top of it, then sprayed a nice helping of the whipped topping.. It was missing something. Ah hah, I took a blackberry from the dish and placed it on the top-middle portion of it. Better.

I reached and snatched up a spoon, placing it on the side. Dad was still engrossed in the game, yelling every once in a while and I headed back to him. I held the bowl out to him but he didn't notice it. He yelled at the TV. The Mariner's were losing. I rolled my eyes again.

"Dad, I made you something." His eyes snapped to me, smiling.

"Thanks, Bells," He looked at it and sniffed it. "Smells great. I see you made it just how I like it."

"Lucky guess," I laughed then frowned. My stomach was churning. It was my bedtime.

"You need to talk to me. I can tell when you are bothered. You've always been readable. Those eyes hide nothing."

"Um..no, Dad. I'm OK. Just have a report due that I haven't even started." I lied. He watched me disbelieving. "And I don't feel so good. Maybe catching a cold. Still getting used to this weather."

He nodded, that he believed. "Well, I suggest you head off to bed then. I'll clean up before I head out.. You didn't even touch dinner."

"I am and I'll be fine. Night." I hugged him quickly before rushing up the stairs.

I wanted to delay going to my room and having to sleep for as long as possible. I was going to have horrible dreams. Especially after this very stupid day. I slipped into the bathroom and started the shower. I shut the door and undressed, but quickly realized I forgot to get my nightclothes. I shrugged. I will just be extra careful to check to make sure Dad was gone on my way to my room.

Before I stepped into the tub, I checked the temperature of the water. Mmm. It was so nice and hot. Steam was quickly filling the room and I let all the drama go as I stood face up in the water. It felt wonderful on my aching muscles. I stepped out of the water cascade enough to get the soap.

Images started coming to me about Edward and our first night. My dad didn't even ask me about what happened to my headboard. He just deemed me a klutzy tragedy when he replaced it. All my bruises were from me 'falling into it'. I knew he was confused about it but he didn't ask many questions. The sex had been amazing regardless of what had been destroyed.

Why was I thinking of this? I slammed the soap down. More importantly, why did I throb for Edward? He cheated on me. _You did it too, you dummy. _It was getting worse, and I started feeling butterflies in my stomach. I still loved him. I still wanted him like mad. I still needed him to touch me.

Without thought I had already begun rubbing between my legs. I was frustrated that I could get this way even though the current events changed everything. I still wanted to be with Edward. It bordered on obsessive the way I thought about him, hungered for him. I bit my lip silently when I entered the throws of my orgasm.

EPOV:

I wondered if she noticed me standing there. I had watched her touch herself and the familiar conditions she invoked arose. I wanted to bring her orgasm to fruition myself but I was here on other important matters. My penis would have to wait.

I replaced the shower curtain and stepped back. The water stopped after a few minutes and Bella began humming her lullaby. My eyes closed painfully. Too much. It was all becoming too much. I opened them to the glorious sight of her buttocks as she dried her hair then the rest of her body. I was completely still. If she were to look at me she would have seen a deep sadness in my eyes. And longing.

She looked up into the mirror, and I knew she saw me. Her eyes widened and she whipped around. A strangled soft gasp passed through the perfect pink of her lips. In her shock she had dropped her towel. I took in the angelic beauty of her and I hadn't even realized subconsciously I had moved to closer in front of her.

I wrapped my hands into her wet tresses and brought my mouth down to hers. I crushed against her mouth. My kiss was full of devastation and love. Emptiness and hope. I didn't want to have to do this. I didn't want to believe. I broke away after a few moments.

"Couldn't you have picked anyone other than him?" I said slowly. Gut wrenching emotions kicked up within me.

Her eyes immediately brimmed with tears and she started to speak but I shushed her. I didn't want to hear her words. This was the end and I wanted to stop it but I saw no way. I kissed her, yes, but to touch Bella any further than that would be agony. Especially when the onslaught of her saying Jacob's name over and over again as she succumbed to bliss were so prevalent.

I had so many conflicting feelings about Bella. I was angry and I wanted to shout at her and never speak to her again. I wanted to hold her to me and take her again and again. Reclaim her as mine. I wanted to leave and go as far away as I could. I wanted to die once more just to clean the memories from my mind. I wish she could beat me. I drove her to this. How could I even be mad at her? After all, she was human. What was my excuse?

My topaz eyes looked over her face in wonder. I had done this to us. Brought the apocalypse down upon our heads. Now we both would incur the wrath. I wasn't ready. I kissed her forehead slowly. I was tired of leaving her but her close proximity was luring me into the final hours of my damnation. I wanted to make her a vampire just to keep Jacob away from her.

Jacob. He wanted Bella from the first moment they met again. He had been plotting ways to get her alone and interested in him. Was it coincidence that we ran across each other in the mall? It had to be. Even he wasn't that malicious. It just so happened these untimely events played out like a symphony. He was still on a mystic high when he walked into the jewelry store. He wanted to buy her some earrings. That's when I was nearly floored and Jasper and Alice had to literally drag me out with out notice.

I wanted to kill him. I would have killed him. But then again, it was my fault. No one to blame but me. I let him touch my Bella, and for that I was scarred for life. I could never look at her the same. A tad hypocritical I am sure. I probably looked just as bad or worse to her. Space was good, or it could be bad. Whichever, I had made my choice.

"I have to go Bella. I will see you around." I was so nonchalant about it but my dead heart cracked. The line was going deeper by the minute and my heart was destroyed.

BPOV:

Four and a half weeks had passed and I was so depressed that I couldn't function. I had aced my report but I started struggling after that. I was pulling C's a few weeks ago but I finally did all my make-up work and extra credit so I should be making B's by now. I had seen Edward and his family almost every school day since. Alice looked over at me and I looked down at my plate of untouched food. I couldn't see the plate through my tears that were forming.

Every one was at the table today, chatting as if nothing changed. Mike and Jessica flirted shamelessly. I think for Mike it was just to try to get me to see what I had lost. Eric was chatting with Angela about prom coming up. Tyler was talking to his football buddies about scary movies. And I, sad and pathetic sat doing nothing. Pining to be over with Edward.

After lunch school went pretty fast thankfully. It always seemed to drone on and on. I just wanted to get home and sleep like I'd been doing. My dad said that he had a surprise for me when I got home. I hated surprises but I couldn't help myself. I was slightly excited. I needed something good to look forward to.

When the bell rang, I snatched up my things and headed directly for my truck. As I walked across the lot I briefly glimpsed Edward. He didn't look at me though I could tell he wanted to. He was good at playing Keep Away. Too good.

I tripped over my shoelace and slammed stomach first into the open door. It knocked the wind out of me and I sucked in air painfully. I saw Edward get out of his car, but I just shook my head at him. No matter how bad I wanted Edward, I didn't want him to come to me out of straight pity. My pride was too strong, for now. I rubbed my stomach and then proceeded to get in.

EPOV:

Bella was doing these things on purpose, I could swear. She had more accidents in the past few weeks than she had in her whole life time. Wait, no, that would be nearly impossible. She was an injury magnet. More so with out me. I missed her so badly.

"Go to her Edward." Alice said quietly.

I shook my head and watched Bella drive off.

"Humph, can you just get over the human already? It's getting droll!" I rolled my eyes at Rosalie. Shut the hell up, I wanted to reply. Emmett just looked at me and shrugged. Everyone was thinking the same. Enough was enough and I should stop being an ass about it and succumb to what she so obviously wanted. To put it frankly, I was scared to. I was haunted by the fact she was touched by Jacob. Even more so since she didn't know the bitter truth about him and what he had become while he was away.

I stopped going to her room at night but I would patrol the perimeter around her house instead. Just to make sure she was safe. Well, that was what I told myself. I pretty much just wanted to keep an eye on her and make sure she had no more visitors to her bed. Jasper had called me selfish many times because of it. I was some kind of control freak. Funny, that coming from him.

I started the car and pulled out of the student parking lot. This was going to be a long day..

BPOV:

Weird. My dad was home and he was usually gone. Must have been a slow one. I grabbed my book bag out and hopped down from the car, slamming the door behind me. Great. Quality time with the parent. Dad and I had spoke less and less these days. My stomach churned at that moment. I didn't feel well. I needed to eat more probably. It was hard to do when you didn't even feel like getting out of bed.

"Dad, I'm home." I walked through the door and hung up my jacket and book bah. I'll do homework later.

"In the family room." He called back.

As soon as I went in there I noticed the flat screen was off. Oh, boy. He was going to give me the "Depression Hurts Everyone" talk again. I braced myself for it as I flounced down on the couch next to him. He was looking at me the way a parent always did before they said something that would be uncomfortable for the both parties.

I noticed a bag on the table from the pharmacy. My face flushed. He finally decided to get me crazy pills. That's just great. I wasn't crazy..well not really. I hadn't attempted to commit suicide, nor have I been engaging in any reckless behaviors besides not eating. But that didn't mean I was depressed. I was so consumed with school work that I didn't even think of eating.

"Follow me, Bella." Dad got up and I could tell he was indomitable about all of this. I did as told in silence. At the end of the brief walk we stood in the upper stair hallway. He handed me a cup of water from his nightstand and the bag. Well, more like forced them into my hands. "Now take this."

I felt like he was sort of treating me like I was in an insane asylum. Fine I will take the damn pills just to get him off my back. I went into the bathroom and placed the cup on the edge of the sink. He watched me and relief flooded his eyes. Oh yes, dad I was going to humiliate myself. Oh, not only is Bella klutzy but she's also crazy.

I angrily reached in the bag and pulled the pills out. My heart dropped. What? Wait. It wasn't pills at all, but a pregnancy test. I stared at my dad as if he had three heads. He was kidding right? I swallowed slowly. I wasn't freakin' pregnant. This was going to the top of my list of 10 most embarrassing things. Fine, whatever.

"Just take it." He crossed his arms and I gave him that face. Yes, he definitely had a tri-dome. I was going to appease him but I wasn't happy about it. I ripped open the box and slammed the door in his face. _Nice present, DAD_. I thought, kicking the wall. _Ouch!_


	7. Crazy New Beginnings

**Thanks for the reviews ****J**

**Still BPOV:**

After a few minutes, I opened up the door and showed dad the negative test.

"See, I'm not pregnant."

I thought he would be happy but he just continued to stare at me the same way I had him right before I went into the rest room. Why did he look like that? He was going through a range of emotions on his face. I didn't know what all of them were but the last was angry. I took a look at the test.

Positive. Oh god. I would bet my life on it not being like that when I showed him. I thought about it, recounting the minutes. These things were tricky. I didn't wait up to 3 minutes and I just gave my dad the honor of me popping up pregnant literally in front of his face. Why couldn't I faint on cue? I didn't know what to say to him. I just stood there clutching the test and looking back and forth between the two.

How would I tell Edward? Technically, we didn't formerly breakup but we weren't necessarily an item either. In the end he had kept his promise. We were a couple, but on hiatus. His letter had been clear. We would work this out one day. But he was a vampire, who knows how long his 'respite' was going to last. I could be sixty by the end!

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I was repentant. I think dad was having a heart attack. If I could have one, I think I would have too. He was so disappointed in me. I never wanted to become a statistic but I was reckless. Like most teens. Smart and stupid all mixed into one. I would be talk of the town. Chief Swan's daughter knocked up by the weird out cast, yet elite society member, Edward Cullen.

'Bells… I didn't think of all the kids out there that are so carefree with their bodies, that you would be among them."

That hurt. I was going to bare a scarlet letter for everyone to see at school once I started showing. I could see this on an episode of Maury titled "I got pregnant by a vampire". I wish there was a new school to go to but this was a small town. There was the reservation's and then ours. There was no way I could be allowed to go to the former one mention.

I was going to be a mother. What a shock. No one would have ever guessed that I am sure. "I'm sorry dad…I don't know what else to say."

"Well, we should go tell his parents. Let them know what the two of you have been doing in your off hours." My brain cells scattered and I stared at him oddly. Tell Edward? Tell them all? "Never, never had I had any trouble from that boy until he started seeing you."

Every word drove a nail into my coffin. He was right. I was the fall of Edward's morals. I wanted to have sex, I pushed him into it. He was my first and after that I might as well have been on an episode of Girls Gone Wild Special Edition. I was a hormone raging nympho on all accounts. If I could have sex with him all day I am sure I would have.

"Dad..like..no way." I begged.

"We're going right now. Get your things and let's go..and that's final."

"OK, fine. Just let me call Jessica and tell her I can't hang out later." I stalled.

He nodded. "I'll be waiting in the cruiser."

My mouth fell open. This was going to get worse, I could see it now. I whipped out my cell and dialed Alice. The phone hadn't even rang before her voice said 'Hello' on the other end. I didn't know what to say to her now that she was there.

"Bella, I know already so just tell me what you need to." She broke the ice.

"Who did you mention this to?" I rushed.

"No one. It's up to you to relay what's going on, not me."

"Thanks, Alice. I appreciate it."

"No problem. Besides, it's going to be a doozey to everyone. I am not even going to bear the brunt of this mess. Tootles."

"Ugh. See you soon." I hung up the phone. This is the part I would hate.

EPOV:

My mother was the first to open the door and she expressed her surprise but happiness to find Chief Swan there. It was an act, we all heard a car coming up the road and I alerted them to it being Chief Swan, but the reasons were still unclear. He stood next to a dejected Bella. I tried to read his mind but it was scattered. _Stupid boy. How could he be so stupid? _It was hard to get to his thoughts sometimes but at least it wasn't completely impenetrable like his daughter's. Still, he held no clues as to what they were doing here.

BPOV:

"Chief Swan, nice to see you again." Esme's smile lightened my mood a bit.

He did the quick wave. "You might not think that once I explain to you the situation, Mrs. Cullen."

"Do come in." She stepped back to let us past and I caught the look she gave Alice and Edward. They both shrugged. I could tell Edward was trying so hard to penetrate my Dad's musings with no luck. That was better for all of us. I didn't want him to know any sooner than he had to.

We walked into the parlor and sat on the long couch. The whole family was curious now. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle stopped everything they had been doing. This had never happened before. No one human visited them. I was the first. Now, my Dad. What was about to be unleashed would be pandemonium. This was something out of the twilight zone.

"As you all know," My dad started off, "Bella and Edward have been having their on and off again relationship. Which is fine, I had no problem with your son until now." Oh god, I panicked. " There has been a new development in this situation. I want to know how it will be handled."

They all looked around towards each other. Edward was trying to piece together my dad's thoughts and Alice tried to keep the smirk off her face. I rocked on the couch slowly. I can't take this. Everything was happening so fast. Edward and I, then no Edward and I, now Edward, a baby, and I. Utter craziness.

"What is the problem, Charlie? We will do anything to help." Carlisle looked down at me as he stood next to the seat that Esme was in.

"I'm glad to hear you say that. Bella here is pregnant." He said it dry.

I could almost hear the rumble as the ripple of shock spread across the room. All eyes were on me. I could feel them. Especially Edward's. If he could bore a hole through me he would've. There was a long pause and Carlisle was the first one to speak.

"Really?" He questioned. "I wasn't aware that they had any kind of..intimate relationship." So Edward had not told him. Rosalie squinted at Emmett suspiciously when he looked away. Jasper and Alice had also ducked their eyes.

Esme sat so concerned, gripping Carlisle's hand that laid on her shoulder. "How far along is Bella?"

"I don't know…We don't know yet."

"Well, we will get her in touch with the best OBGYN doctors and nurses as soon as possible. Fee-free." Carlisle assured.

"That's good and all, babies are expensive but they need time _and_ patience Are they physically and mentally prepared for this? Bella has to be, but your son, is he able?"

Everyone turned to Edward this time. He stood there unnaturally still. His gaze was on my stomach as if he were trying to picture the abomination inside. Shock smacked across his face and he leaned against a far wall. He almost acted as if he were going to pass out.

"A baby." He murmured dumbfounded.

"Is he going to be okay?" My dad said standing up to offer any assistance.

"Yes," Carlisle said something to Edward that we couldn't hear and he nodded looking at me again. I blushed. "Charlie," He said clearing his throat and looking our way again. "Would you mind if all of us, the adults, went to talk in the Dining room? It will also give Bella and Edward time to talk about…things."

"No problem." He obliged, starting to walk off with them. To Edward, "No more of your poppy-cock." Luckily he was out of sight when Emmett fell to the ground cracking up.

"Poppy..cock. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." His gurgle of laughter almost shaking the walls.

"Enough. Let's go Emmett. Give the baby-making love birds time to chat. We can talk about how scary weird this all is later. I'm out of here. Follow if you know what's best for you." Rose scoffed.

Everyone cleared out so quickly I almost wanted to laugh. Edward hadn't moved since we got here. His face was almost lifeless. I could just hear him now, "I'm not alive so how can I be lifeless?" Sad, we had not talked in so long that I inserted what I thought he would say. How pathetic.

"Is the baby mine?"

Finally. W-what did he just say? "Excuse me?" My words slightly hitching in my throat.

"Is.. the baby mine?" He said it cold and calculated.

"I don't know yet, Edward. I just found out. Hopefully, when I go to a doctor then I will know about how many weeks I am. I just didn't expect this. Please, don't be angry."

In a flash he was in front of me.

"Don't be angry?" If he could ever look like a murderer this was the time. "You slept with Jacob. That fucking dog," His eyes closed and opened and a muscle in his jaw ticked, "had his hands all over you and you enjoyed every..little.. bit of it. You're probably having his baby, not mine. You think it's me? Your Dad sure does. " His eyes became dark. "But me..I'm not so sure."

I blinked back the wetness threatening to spill over, he had never dropped the f-bomb in front of me before. "Can't you be civil about this? You cheated on me first. I was so messed up after that.."

"Yes, I was wrong. But Tanya can't get pregnant Bella. Did you not think at all? Everyone will know about you and Jacob. You think he's going to keep it secret? And if he doesn't spill the beans, how am I going to look when we aren't talking much? Like I abandoned you while you are pregnant. People will start asking questions, they will start wondering, and then they will come to their conclusions. Whether close to the truth or not. I don't mind what happens to me in all this.."

"You still care about me.." I stated.

"I care more than you can ever know." He slipped into sadness and backed away from me. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Bella. But don't worry, you had the last laugh."

"What .. What will happen if it is yours?" I stuttered in embarrassment.

"Then I will do what I must."

"And if it is Jacob's?" My eyes had a mind of their own. They were trying to plead with him. "Would we ever be together?"

I could see him cringe at the thought of me having my best guy friend's baby and he sat down on the couch. "I don't know the answer to that."

I sat down next to him in silence and I just stared at my feet. Just like me to get into this mess. I had no real words for what I was feeling or thinking. My mind was floating into a black hole. All I could think of was what I wanted and what should be. Everything was so difficult. I needed it to be easy. It couldn't be this hard.

Our parents would be back soon and then I would have to go and be grounded for 9 months and 18 years. Edward's hand moved my hair out of my face. I absently leaned against it. I was happy for his touch. I had not felt it in such a long time.

"Get an abortion.."

I jerked my face away. "No…NO! You..I don't believe in that. You don't want to take my life but you want an innocent baby's?"

"Maybe it is ours. Maybe it is not." His tone was callous.

"When did you become this unfeeling person?" I turned and faced him.

"I don't know."

"You don't know anything anymore. So why am I trying?" I pushed up. I didn't want to go but if I didn't I was going to look like a maniac. "Tell them all bye for me..I'll be outside."

I walked briskly out the front door and closed it behind me. I couldn't catch my breath. I leaned against it for a brief second hoping the world spinning around me would end. I was tired of passing out or hurting myself or having love break my heart. I hated Forks right now. I needed to get away.

Before I realized it I was running. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to go. Possibly it would be better for everyone if I just got lost. I never was the type to do immature things like runaway but I never was the type to sleep with different men either. Look at me now. Two guys, one baby, one me. How could I let myself get in this position.

I wasn't a typical teenager. I always thought of myself as different. Smarter. Now, I was just a statistic. I hated thinking that over and over again but I couldn't help it. That was exactly what I was. Tears blinded me. I couldn't see anything, but I knew I was straying away from the road. But if he didn't care…neither did I. Love sucked.


	8. Taken Up In The Moment

**Awesome reviews. Keep it up.**** I know it's been a long wait. I'm sorry. Hope you enjoy.**

**EPOV:**

I watched Bella rush out and I really did want to stop her but at this moment I didn't think it was such a good idea. I wanted to take her. Her closeness was just a reminder of that fact. I shifted when my pants became tight. Blankly, I stared at the door she went through as if I could see her out there.

Go to her you lout. I knew this was hard for me but in all reality, it was ten thousand times worse for her. Bella had the most horrible luck that any one could ask for. I should just swallow my pride and forgive her anything. Didn't she forgive me? And if she hadn't, I knew she would.

What was the use of us fighting? It always came back to one thing. I loved Bella. I was the deciding factor of her and that bas- No.. focus. I could feel my anger rise. I had to forget about him if Bella and I were going to reconcile. I groaned in agony. His baby could possibly be inside her. No way of ignoring that.

It was weird how I had to gain courage to talk to her. Bella was no crazed animal, but I was afraid of seeing the hurt in her eyes. She hardly smiled any more. Alice had no problem with showing me every day what I had done to Bella. I was glad my sister had no knowledge of what I call The Jacob Incident or else I would have gone mad seeing those images. It was enough getting the brief one's from her werewolf.

Her werewolf? Her nothing! My fist made a scraping sound as I tightened it. Jacob was nothing to her. Just a rebound who preyed on our every fight. That is what I was going to stick with. Even though, in the back of my mind, I knew that Bella was no loose girl who would sleep with anyone.

Another stirring in my crotch sent a shiver down my spine. She was definitely not loose. She was extremely tight. Like Tanya. I rolled my eyes at myself. No, not like her, better. How did I even dare compare them? Bella was human perfect, Tanya was vampire perfect. No comparison. Bella had the cutest blush. Her skin pliable and soft. I loved it and that's what I needed and what I wanted.

I saw Alice out of the side of my eye and she looked towards the door when I was bombarded by her thoughts. She had seen me go my other half. My body was being pulled toward Bella before I had even realized it. I was down the winding path leading away from the house. She was in the woods. I bristled. Bella.. alone.. in the woods. Not a good combination.

The scent of her led me further from the path and I found myself going faster than I usually would because I wanted to get close to her. I found her sitting on a boulder crying. The look of her was unbelievably heart breaking. She had wrapped her arms across her stomach and the gut-wrenching half hysterical sobs had tore at my insides. I had wronged her more than I could ever make up for.

"Bella…" My voice cracked in near despair when her blood shot eyes blinked upward to my face.

"I'm sorry… Do you want me to leave?" I could hear her swallow hard.

"No," I shook my head sitting next to her. "You, by rights, were here first."

I pushed a few locks of her hair out of her face and behind her ear. By then the flow of her tears had stopped all together and she had longing in her eyes. The love for me flowed through them and I gratuitously accepted it. My body moved on it's own accord when I swept her up and tentatively placed my lips down to her own. She gasped into my mouth and pulled me in tightly for more.

Within seconds we were exchanging panting moans into each others welcoming mouths. It had been too long. I couldn't resist once it had began. It felt too great and I was magnetized to her. Apparently, at some point I had picked her up and placed her on the ground under me, extracting her shirt. I continued to ravage her lips. She was making it very unbearable to just kiss her. Her hands were every where almost at once and whimpering for more. I gave her all she asked.

Her hands were in my hair, pushing my mouth even closer. If that were possible. Pulling away against an angry protest, I started to unbutton her blouse. I was gentle this time. I was saving the material for once, even though my hands were shaking. I brushed it aside and paid more attention to the rapid rise and fall of Bella's creamy breasts. Her nipples were hard already and I licked one through her bra.

Her eyes were so distracting. They held all of her feelings there as I pulled the lace material down to free her soft mounds. I don't know why I was being so gentle but it was hard to restrain. I wanted to rip her clothing to shreds and take her giving body over and over again until she couldn't take it any more. I could rip her clothes. Just one item. No one would know, I reasoned.

Her legs were free of her pants and I did what I had the notion to. Not much to rip, when I noticed she was wearing a thong. I chuckled. Unexpected and very sex. I took one hand and yanked it off her. She gasped and I thought I had hurt her but she was holding her arms out to me. Lightning quick, I disrobed and folded my clothing neatly in a pile near us. She laughed because sometimes I could not help my anal retentive tendencies and I did the same to her shirt and jeans.

I was back over her again. I wanted to be slow and draw it out but she was exciting me further than I could take. She continued stroking up and down my back in anticipation and I placed a few kisses along her neck. I almost wanted to bite her but I put that part of me away. I could see the monster inside of me get angry but I would not hurt Bella again if I could help it.

I entered her swiftly, and I automatically growled low in my throat. I had missed this. Her hands were back in my hair again when she opened her body wider to me. I kissed her roughly, but gentle enough not to bruise her lips. I could promise that this is what heaven would feel like, if I could ever get there.

Slow and steady, is something my mind wanted, but my body wanted hard and fast. I caught her off guard when I began filling her more deeply with each thrust. I opened her legs wider with my thighs and I began taking all I could get. She shook from the intensity and her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head when she quickly became orgasmic. I felt close but I pushed it away.

She screamed my name, and it echoed our surroundings. Her warm body bucked against me, her head thrashing as I elongated her orgasm by still moving within her just enough to keep her convulsing. I closed my eyes against the exquisite pleasure that this evoked. My legs nearly felt weak from it. I scooped her up and flipped onto my back. Doing that had hit a certain spot inside of her and she came even more loudly again.

Her hooded eyes stared down at me and I thrust up into her wetness. She quickly took the reigns and rode me. I briefly had a faint memory of Tanya but I threw it aside. There was no way this would be ruined for me. Bella and I had both made the worst mistake ever but our love would fix it. It had to. The beautiful moan she let out at that moment forced me out of my depressing query and I was reaching the brink. I couldn't stay it.

Her hands ran over my chest, lightly brushing her nails along. It started then. Slowly, but building quickly. My release was unheard of. Explosive. I hadn't realized that I had grabbed a giant hand full of earth, leaving two huge holes on either side of me. I'm sure Bella would have laughed at me if she could have been paying attention. Her mouth was parted in a silent scream of ecstasy. That was it for me and I let go.

She collapsed on my chest , and I held her to me. I waited for her shaking to stop and I rubbed her hair. She smelled so good at this moment and I was about to kiss her when I heard and smelled Jacob. My head jerked in his direction and I quickly rolled Bella under me away from what soon would be his prying eyes. I frowned. I seemed to not hone my skills as much when Bella was around. She captured me in so many ways.

It was dangerous not to have my wits about me when we were out. Next time I would not make that mistake. I couldn't turn it off but I sure did tune it out a lot. _They are fucking. Nice, Bella._ I controlled my laugh. He was just as jealous of me as I am of him. I would make his jealousy worth it.

Bella was still in euphoria when I started taking her again. Her back arched but I made sure to shield as much of her as I could from his eyes. I could almost feel his eyes stabbing into my back. I could hear him tense up when she moaned how much she loved me. She said she was sorry for everything but I hushed her quickly with my mouth. No talking. There was a show to put on. He had to learn a lesson. Bella was MINE!

He wanted to look away but his shock wouldn't let him. Tears burned in his eyes. It was so good to see his mind. I also realized that he was a bit excited in his pants. I stopped myself from chuckling. He was a perverted little boy. I stopped for a second when he began remembering. None of that.

"Bella…my love.." I whispered to her. I wasn't the only one with good hearing.

"MMM, y-yes?" Her eyes were closed and her face flushed.

"How much do you love me?" I said between shards of pleasure bursting inside of my body.

"Edward.." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. "I.. love…so much." She said between kisses.

"Only me..or.." This was too intense. I think I secretly liked him watching. Him recognizing he had lost her to me took this to another level. I almost became too rough with her when she cried out and wrapped her legs around my waist. I slid a fraction of an inch deeper. My god. She was killing the already dead.

"Only you. I want only you. Jacob..he was a mistake, Edward. You, you, you, only you." She was repeating herself and I knew why. I could not have planned it better when she screamed my name over and over. Making it echo. A gush of fluid and the fact that she tightened even more so, which was closely impossible so I thought, sent me tumbling. I forgot all about Jacob in that moment.

"Bella…Bella…I love you." My voice was quaking and the strong fireworks popping like dynamite held me still. Who ever said make up sex was the best I needed to send a million dollars. I lowered my self slightly but still holding my weight off of her. Jacob had left I recalled vaguely. Bella was under me, still holding on, eyes closed, and mouth parted. Every once in a while she would whimper and shiver.

I waited.

"Oh. I'm sorry." She blushed and loosened her legs and arms. "I was still..you know."

I checked her over and frowned at a bruise on her breast. The only one. I was rough again. I pushed off of her in disgust and yanked on my clothing. I heard her get up and replace items of her clothing. I could tell she was ashamed. Her bottom lip shook and in response she chewed it as I watched her.

"We should go." She said. Her wall up again, eliciting a sigh from me.

"Bella, don't regret this. I was just upset that I bruised you. Nothing else."

"Okay.." I could tell she didn't believe me so I hugged her to me.

"I love you and we will work this out." She sort of smiled and touched her stomach.

"But Jacob…" Her smile dropped.

"What about him?" My face darkened dangerously.

"What if my baby isn't yours? You can't just deny that possibility."

She was right. I was afraid to ask Alice if she could see anything else. From what I knew she said Bella was giving birth and she could view nothing afterward. She had trouble seeing werewolves so that could only mean that the baby was Jacobs. I did not want that.

"We will…work it out." Disbelief flashed and I could understand why. It would kill me to see her holding his child. "Just finish getting dressed, Charlie is waiting for you." I left that hanging. The walk back undoubtedly would be a silent one.

BPOV:

I was determined to ask Alice if she could see anything about the baby. I needed to know. I was a little concerned because of Edward's reaction. Wouldn't he know already? My decision was to keep it so then shouldn't he know who's child it was? Maybe he hadn't asked. I wasn't too sure how Alice's visions worked even though it had been explained to me.

I took Edward's hand as we walked into the house. Every one watched us and my Dad looked disapprovingly at our intertwined hands. I felt like everyone knew what we had been up to, but I think they were actually just feeling unsettled about the fact that I was going to be a mother so soon. My father the most, but still.

I nearly hid behind Edward as we stood there and looked on. I couldn't hold anyone's eyes too long before I ducked mine. I wondered if they knew about Jacob. I am sure they did. Didn't all vampires have super hearing. My dad was the only one oblivious in this room..

"Let's go Bells." I watched my Dad stand up and Carlisle shake his hand. He nodded towards Esme before taking my arm and making me follow him. I looked back at Edward, sadly. He followed slowly behind us and watched from the door as I was put in the car. He gave me his quirky reassuring smile as we drove off.

"I wanted to say goodbye.." I said weakly.

"You should probably go live with your mother. She is going to kill me for letting this happen to you."

"Dad, I am not leaving Forks." I said desperately.

"What am I going to do with you Bells? You're sixteen and pregnant. I don't want you to go through what your mom went through. She was just a few years older than you are right now and it was still very hard."

"Edward will help me."

"He's just a boy himself."

"Carlisle and Esme will not let him shy away from his responsibilities.." I pushed. I knew they wouldn't and I know Edward had more sense than that. My dad grunted in agreement and it was settled. Now what to do about finding out who's child this was…

**VERY SHORT PREVIEW OF UP COMING CHAPTER BELOW JUST CUZ IM BORED**

**EPOV:**

**I wasn't prepared for the panic once they had gone. Carlisle was unsure of what to do. He had never came across a human bearing a vampire child. He looked at me apologetically when Rosalie interjected that it could be Jacob's mutt. I winced at that possibility. I questioned Alice and she shook her head. She still couldn't see. It frustrated me to no end and I had a warning as not to break anything in the house.**


	9. Unable To Choose

EPOV:

I wasn't prepared for the panic once they had gone. Carlisle was unsure of what to do. He had never came across a human bearing a vampire child. He looked at me apologetically when Rosalie intersected that it could be Jacob's mutt. I winced at that possibility. I questioned Alice and she shook her head. She still couldn't see. It frustrated me to no end and I had a warning as not to break anything in the house.

I kicked the piano stool and sent it flying through the wall. I didn't care to heed the warning. There was nothing to do about the situation but wait. I usually didn't pay that much detail to time but nine months would roll by fairly slowly. At least I knew that Jacob was done with Bella after what he saw today.

"Edward.." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Calm down." I looked up at him shaking. "Every one, the table. Now. There is a lot to discuss."

Just what I needed. More of a family gathering. I didn't feel like this tonight. I wanted to go to Bella. All this stress wasn't healthy for her or our baby. Was it unhealthy for me to say that? To throw out all the other truths? Possibly, but I was never rational when it came to her. I stalked her for weeks when she moved to Forks.

I took my place at the table and all eyes were on me. I wasn't like myself. I was beginning to become volatile. Angry even. There was so much undue pressure on me, and I wasn't really ready for this. I wasn't happy to be a father, I had crushed those dreams when the venom singed my veins. I knew it wouldn't be a possibility for me any more. But then again being with a human wasn't either, but I had been. I felt like pulling my hair out.

"We might be in for a bit of trouble, Edward." I snapped my head up at the last word before my name.

"What do you mean by that?"

"We need to … get rid of the baby when the time comes."

That was it. Enough. "WHAT?! Kill it? Are you crazy?!" I slammed my palm through the table. "Is every one going crazy in this house? So it's not just me, then?"

"Calm down, I don't mean kill it, just send it some where to be safe. The Volturi.."

"They know?" My body stilled.

"No, Edward. I just brought them up for precautionary purposes."

"All right."

"No one can ever know what is going on here." We all nodded in unison. " In the past there were what we called immortal children and it was chaos. I never really spoke about Tanya, Kate, and Irina's mother and how she died. I always tried to shelter my children against the atrocities of the past. Their mother Sasha was sentenced to death by the Volturi. " I bristled at Tanya's name. "The immortal children were babies and toddlers that were turned to be like us. They were beautiful."

"That's crazy.." Rosalie said her eyes widening with new thoughts of finally getting a child. "But I would want one..sign me up."

"They were impossible to handle. They couldn't control their thirst no matter how much Aro tried. They slaughtered them and everyone defending them. Including Sasha. So this must be handled with care and privacy." _Edward, maybe you should let every one think that this child isn't yours._

"Hell no. I will not do that. I will not let Bella look like a common woman!" I raged.

"Well, she did sleep with another guy. She is a little…"

The look I gave Rose stilled her words. I could end her miserable life forever if she said one more thing about my precious Bella. If any one was anything it would be me. I ruined us. If she was fallen, then what would I be? Emmett hugged Rose to him shielding her. He couldn't always protect her.

BPOV:

I knocked on Jacob's door. I had to tell him about the baby before I started my groundation. It was morally right and something that should be done. I would deal with Edward's anger later. He could read me better than any one. Well, almost anyone. A silhouette stood in the light of the opened door.

"Aren't you some where you shouldn't be, Bella?" Jacob's voice rang a little bitter.

"We need to talk. It's important. Please, Jake." He stepped aside to let me pass. I waved at Billy and he nodded to me.

"Dad. Give us some time?" Billy nodded eyeing us both and with out a word, slipped out the door. "What are you here for Bella? Didn't get enough of _Edward _earlier?"

My mind was blank. What was he talking about. He was so angry and I didn't even know any reasons he could be. I gasped, and looked apologetically at him. He had seen us in the woods. That is the only thing that sprang to mind. I didn't notice him. Well, how could I? I was enjoying all that Edward was giving. I wouldn't have noticed anything but him. Thankfully, he didn't hear anything that I had said. Everything that I had meant in the throws of bliss.

"There's something bigger than that right now."

"Are you hungry? We have stew.." His demeanor softened towards me just a bit.

"No. Not lately… You might want to sit down…I mean, this is going to be hard for you to take." His brow creased at my nervousness. I wasn't really ever this way around him.

"Bella, are you sick?"

"Yes and no.."

"Explain this.." He sat on the edge of the couch.

I wrung my hands like crazy and chewed my lip thoughtfully. "I'm going to be sick, I think…well, usually women are when they are in my position.."

"What position?" He said slowly.

"Well..umm..when someone has a baby.."

"I'm going to be a Dad?!" Jacob hopped off the couch and I looked down about to cry. I didn't know how to explain. He scooped me up in his arms for a huge hug. I squealed and he let me go. "That's great! I mean not too great for us, but I am willing to do this."

"Not necessarily.."

"Oh, I see.. You might be having a baby with a nasty Bloodsucker?"

"What? You know?" My mouth dropped as I registered his question.

"I've known for a bit now, Bella. And how is that even possible? A baby with him? It's more plausible that I knocked you up. It's unheard of with a vampire. Also, that's sick, Bella." He made a face.

I blinked. He had known, yet he never said anything to me. "I guess you are right."

"I know I'm right." He beamed, nearly jumping from the couch in glee. "That would show him. I am going to be your child's father. Poor bloodsucker."

I pushed Jake away from me when he tried to kiss me. Memories did make my heart skip a beat and my chest rise faster no matter what I tried to do. But he wasn't who I wanted. In the end, it would always be Edward. He wrapped his arms around me lightly and pulled me to him. I tried to push him again but it wouldn't work. His mouth covered mine and I nearly melted like ice cream on the counter.

I wanted Edward, so why did I not fight hard enough to get Jake away from me? I missed his touch more than I wanted to admit. His kiss was warm and inviting. Very warm, and I found myself leaning into his body. His tongue found mine and I shivered. My hands ran up into his hair.

What the.. I ripped my head away. "Jake, wait. I didn't notice you cut your hair!"

"Yep, I did. You're silly Bella. I've had it cut for weeks."

"I haven't really seen you…"

"Well, you see me now." His mouth claimed mine again and I fought even less. A butterfly feeling burst in my belly. But it wasn't akin to the feeling of wanting someone.

"Oh.." I pushed back again when I felt something move. "Jacob we can't do this. Stop, please."

I don't think he heard me. He continued rougher with his kisses. I some how ended up with my back against the wall with his hand in my jeans. I couldn't deny that what he was doing felt good, but I couldn't hurt Edward more and this baby didn't deserve a slut for a mother. I moaned and tried to give a half-hearted push but it did nothing. Was I even trying?

I felt a hard jab in my abdomen and I went stiff. It almost took the breath out of me. The pain was excruciating and I cried out, tears welling. Still he didn't stop. I hit his arm futilely, pushing harder against him. He was in his own little world. An arm snaked out and pinned one of my hands up against the wall. My other was between us trying to force him away. He was almost like stone.

That's when I noticed all of his muscles. When did this happen? Jake had transformed into such a beautiful looking person who had a body of a God in just a few weeks. A ripple of pleasure passed through me. I was losing. No, he had to stop. I pushed him again, well I tried to but what he was doing felt so good. Edward be damned.

I wrapped my arm around his neck and pressed up against him. I was the one being rough now. My kisses were urgent and I couldn't stop myself. I was very much attracted to Jacob too. I didn't love him.. right? I just wanted him. I wanted how he made me feel and how he made me cum. Guilt washed over me briefly, not that Edward didn't do a great job. It was just..different.

Jacob backed away for a moment and scooped me up in his arms. I wanted to say no. That this shouldn't be happening. I couldn't keep going back and forth between guys like this. It was wrong to do to them and to myself and to my baby. I still couldn't help it. This baby could be Jacob's. That doesn't mean my body has to be too, I told myself.

I don't remember how I got to his bed and I barely remember taking off my pants but I did. I thought only vampire's could dazzle but apparently so could Jacob. He was kissing my stomach. It was such a tender moment and I lifted my hips so he could pull off my underwear.

For some reason, I felt like crying. My emotions were so screwed up right now. I couldn't do this to Edward again. No matter what. But here I was about to get what I could from Jacob. He was positioned over me, ready to give what I was waiting for.

I ran my hands down his shoulders, kissing one. He smiled at me, with his lust hazed eyes. He was able to make me do things I didn't think I was ever capable of. I kissed him and he entered me slowly. I couldn't believe it possible for him to have been larger than before but he was and it took me a second to adjust.

"Bella." It was a plea. I didn't know what he was asking of me when he began to move. I opened wider to him and my back arched.

"Edward." I shivered under him and my eyes flew open. He went immediately still and I stared into Jacob's sharp brown eyes. Flames of anger licked in them. This wasn't right and I had betrayed the man I loved again even if we weren't a couple. We still had sex like one. I had betrayed my friendship too. I had led him on far past the point I should have stopped.

The way he looked at me I almost felt afraid.

"You're thinking about Edward?" He shoved into me hard and deep and I moaned against my will.

"Jake, stop right now. We can't." I begged, my face flushed with being ashamed. He pulled out and plunged in deeper. "Jake, really, stop." He ignored me with that hard look on his face. He almost looked as if he hated me.

I pushed against his shoulders as hard as I could muster, trying to buck him off of me. He responded with another thrust. I quivered, losing some fight. "You want this, Bella. Let me do it." He was back to pleading, a desperate tinge to his voice. I wanted him to stop so I did the only thing I could do. I slapped him.

My hand stung horribly but he did stop. His body began to shake but he deep breathed and it subsided. He was making me feel terrified. His eyes closed and his jaw ticked, his fists clenched into the sheets. It was a while before I got the nerve to say anything. I just laid there, clutching my hands to my chest.

"Well, I really need to go now.." I tried to say.

He didn't say anything to me, but he started to move again inside of me, sending sharp passion-filled waves through my body. Was he insane? I told him to stop and I couldn't help my body responding to him. I did want to go home though. My eyes closed of their own volition.

"Only if you cum for me." This Jacob, was the one I couldn't stand. He wasn't gentle. He wasn't loving. He was just taking my body and I was growing to resent it. Even though my body wasn't agreeing with my brain. It responded to him. Matching his fast pace. Clenching on him.

"Stop!" I tried to hit him again and he pinned my arms just like before.

"YOU want this, whether you know it or not." He growled and thrust his tongue into my mouth. "I'm going to make you know, Bella."

I gasped into it. Maybe he was right. Something wasn't connecting. Why was I responding and I didn't want to. It was crazy. He had a control over me that I couldn't explain. I struggled, but he was so strong. I could feel him go further with each thrust and I was getting closer to giving him just what he wanted. A warmth crept over me and it happened so quickly.

"Don't make me.." I still had time to stop this. I maddeningly struggled but it was worth nothing and only succeeded in him liking the friction of it. Again, with the responding, I was teetering on the edge and slowly falling off. I went.

It was close to the orgasm I had in the woods. I think because it was emotional, like this time. It wasn't a happy one though. Tears slid down my face and I looked away, as I groaned loudly. I shuddered against Jacob as he imploded. He released my arms and I felt awkward as he slowed down and slipped out of me.

He landed next to me in a huff and kissed my cheek. I turned away from him, curling up slightly on my side. I didn't want to condone his behavior. His hand touched my hair and I slapped it away and tried to pull the covers over me. What we did was between rape and sex…or …was it just rape? No, I responded. I wanted it..well I did at first.

His arms dragged me back to him and his lips found my neck. He began sucking on it. I was mortified when I realized he was branding me. Jacob was smart. His arms were over mine keeping me still. I winced when he acted as if he would enter me from behind.

"Jake, don't…I'm serious."

He chuckled. "I was just picking with you, Bella."

He loosened his hands and I didn't move. What was wrong with me? He didn't rape me.. I let him. _To a point you did. You said "No" plenty of times._ My conscience informed me. _He's not the Jake you knew and loved. He's different now._ I looked around for my jeans. I had to go.

I told him bye as I slid them on and he looked at me confused when I rushed out. I heard him call my name but I didn't care. I didn't know what to think about what happened right now but I know I didn't really give myself to him willingly towards the end. But I also responded to him too, so could it be I did want it? Was it the same as with Edward when I succumbed at school?

I started my truck and I cried, it was absolutely different. Jacob was at his door and I pressed on the gas. Out the side of my eye I could have swore I saw three wolves but I apparently was seeing things between tears. I felt so gross. I was a very horrible person for this!

**OK what do u guys think? I'm sorry u waited but school is kicking my rear b/c we are doing midterms and all that. Thanks for reading. Next chapter will be up tonight or tomorrow. As a Thanks for waiting for me!**

**Comments make me shout with glee lol and ty to all those who are keeping track of my story and who favorite it.**


	10. To Kill A Werewolf

JPOV (Jacob):

Great they are mad at me. What did I do? I sauntered up to the pack in my shape shifting form. At least I didn't have to technically talk to them. It's as if our minds were on a permanent radio wavelength. I nodded my beastly head to Sam, Quil, and Paul. They nodded back. Their eyes saying so much.

Sam: Did you have to do that to her? I thought I told you to control your temper Jake.

_I didn't do anything that she didn't want. Why am I getting problems from you about Bella? You all say she's a leech lover, but I love her and she loves me too. She just doesn't know it yet._

Quil: You are going to bring too much trouble if you don't get a handle on yourself man.

Paul: Well, who cares about that girl? Nice body though.

I growled menacingly at him. I kept forgetting how we are all linked. Whatever is in my mind, they know. How she feels when I am making her moan. The look of her face when I make her orgasm. Her exquisitely built body. Everything I see, they see.

Sam whimpered and shook his head from side to side. The images were too much for him. I ducked my head in apology.

Sam: Stay away from her! That's an order.

My shoulders slumped. _Easier said than done…_

BPOV:

I ran into my room and threw myself on the bed and cried so hard. I was delirious. I never should have went to that house. I never should have. I couldn't stop thinking that no matter how much I pleaded with Jacob to stop he wouldn't. No matter how much I begged him to let me go, my body was telling him different.

I felt a cool pair of hands against my back and I shoved my face deeper into the pillow. My face flamed red. I hadn't counted on him to be here right now. Then again, I should have known. He came to sleep with me ever since he found out I was expecting. He said he wanted no harm to come to me.

"Bella..you smell like that dog." Why was he always calling Jacob that? "What did he do to hurt you so?"

I wanted to lie but he was looking at me so honestly, so protectively that I couldn't. If we were to be together then we couldn't hide things. But I was worried he would see me differently now. As if me sleeping with Jacob wasn't bad enough, but …whatever it was that happened..was even worse.

I pushed up on the bed and hugged a pillow. Edward sat next to me and I unintentionally cringed. He missed nothing. His eyes studied me and he let out a hiss. He knew something was up with me. I was glad that he was unable to read my mind because he would be out to the rez in no time.

I swallowed slowly and spoke.

"I went to see Jacob..to tell him about the baby." I heard Edward sigh.

"As much as I hate to admit this, you were in the right. He should know too."

"He knows that you are a vampire…I didn't tell him I swear!"

"That's fine. They all know about us on the reservation. Well most of them."

"And he was happy to hear about the baby. He said there was a strong possibility that it is his. That you couldn't get me pregnant.." My voice became shaky.

"I've thought about that as well." The admonition was reluctant.

"I don't know any other way to say this…" I stared at the bed sheets.

"He kissed you."

My head jerked up. "How did you know?"

"I just do." He didn't look too mad, but more disgruntled.

"Oh! I just remembered. The baby moved. I felt it." I tried to change the subject.

"It's too early for that."

"But I know what I felt. It was the baby, I swear it." I watched him think about that hard and he shook his head in disbelief.

"You are trying to distract me. What are you hiding?"

My lip started the usual quiver when I was upset. "Just promise me that you won't go there."

"No." He was blunt.

"Then I won't tell you."

"Bella.." He was warning me, but I wouldn't be moved.

"Promise me you won't go there. Or kill him." He looked at me as if I were asking too much.

We sat there in silence for nearly ten minutes before he took a swift intake of breath and let it out.

"Fine."

"I kissed him back. I don't really know why I did it," I rushed on "but I know I was wrong and I tried to stop him!"

"What are you exactly telling me, Bella?" His voice was crisp.

"I think he.." I broke off unsure.

"You think he what?" His patience was being strained. His teeth were clenched as he spoke.

"I.."

"Just tell me." His fist gripped the sheets.

"I told him to stop and he didn't." My throat threatened to close up on me.

"To stop?"

"Having sex.." He was across the room in a flash with his back to me. "I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't like some parts of it but I told him to stop. I told him no. That has to count for something right? I said no but my body wouldn't listen to me. I really wanted him to stop. I didn't.. I didn't want to hurt you again."

"Did he..force himself on you or did he not?"

"I'm not sure.." His face looked demonic when he turned to chastise me.

"How are you not sure? You either wanted it or you didn't. You either said no or you didn't."

I couldn't breathe. "It's not as black and white as that, Edward. You of all people should know that." Tears threatened to spill over again.

His tone lifted slightly. "I want to kill him no matter what."

"If you do, kill me first." I avoided his eyes.

"Oh, Bella. I would never do that to you!"

He sat on the bed and hugged me to him. I sobbed in his arms for hours. He would know if he ever read Jacob's mind. I did try to stop him, I did! I wasn't sure why I was trying to convince myself. I was there. I knew what happened and I hated it. I was always a clumsy girl, finding a way into messes. I didn't know that I would fall into this bottomless pit. I was cursed.

EPOV:

I held her tightly against me until she was deep into sleep. She was more restless than usual and moved suddenly every once in a while. My heart lurched in my chest. Bella wasn't the kind of girl to lie about something like this. Not many women did. She had to be telling the truth.

Even if she was willing to make love to him, it was true that no is absolutely no. She had told me no that day in the closet but I knew she would let me.. Wasn't that the same as this? I coerced her into it. She ended up enjoying herself, but this seemed so different. She was shaky and tearful now. Afraid for me to touch her if she didn't know.

Bella was even conflicted about tonight. I couldn't blame her. I had influenced her feelings for Jacob by my idiotic actions. I went about everything all wrong and now she was hurting. I was praying like mad that this child is mine. If there is a God and my soul isn't damned then he would put it in my favor. If not for me, I ask of him, for Bella.

I believe that she might care for Jacob more than she let on but I know her heart belongs to me. She wants her soul to rest with me. Again, I thought of changing her soon to keep her away from him. He would never touch my Bella again. She could kill him herself or I could kill him. Yet, stupidly, I promised I wouldn't. I couldn't even go see him at the reservation to find out the truth.

The truth..the truth was what Bella said. She needed me to believe her. I wanted to. I had to. I could tell that she had used all of her strength to tell me what happened. Thankfully, she left out the details. I couldn't handle them at this moment in time. I would have broken every promise I ever made to Bella to kill that mutt.

I had to protect her. I didn't have to kill him to do that. There would be a meeting. If the wolves didn't keep him away from her, I would take them all down. I would call every vampire that I knew and wipe them off the map, but Jacob was mine. I was irrational and a bit psychotic when it came to saving Bella. She would be my wife some day and if this was our child, I had to save it to.

Times like these were when I needed to sleep. To calm myself. But I had lots of planning and plotting to do. By now, Alice knew exactly where I was heading. I would not change my mind. It was final. Just then I caught sight of hickeys along Bella's neck. The venom inside me boiled dangerously. At dawn, I would see her safely to school and then I would hunt some werewolves.


	11. Brief Insanity

BPOV:

I stared blankly at Alice as we sat at lunch with out Edward. My heart sunk, I think he did exactly what I didn't want him to do. I would have asked them but they were all tight-lipped about what he had told them. I wonder if they all knew why. Jasper had noticed that I was incredibly quiet and Emmett was staring at me confused. He had told stupid joke after stupid joke and I still hadn't laughed. According to him, I was the only one who really did. I guess that answered my question.

Rose did something unexpected. She took my hand from across the table and squeezed it. I jumped and stared at her cool flesh and then I slowly looked up to her eyes. She looked haunted. Well, she knew. Her eyes looked as if she had been crying, but I knew it was impossible. She let me go and then she was gone. Jasper ran after her and I watched him talking with her outside of the cafeteria window. There he went trying to change people's moods. Too bad he couldn't fix mine.

I was entirely confused. Alice gave me a small smile and warned me she was going to give me a huge hug. I accepted it but nothing made me feel any better. The images of Jacob over me taking my life away played over in a loop. I closed my eyes when it got to the point when he made me orgasm. A tear slipped through my lids and I quickly wiped it away.

"Uh..think this is the cue for my ass to bounce. " I shrugged. Emmett wasn't good at handling tears and crying from Rose or me. He was used to Rosalie's bitchiness and my quirky sarcasm. I followed him as he stood awkwardly next to his girlfriend. I sighed and looked down at my once bitten apple.

"Alice.." I croaked out. " Can you please tell me where Edward is?"

She shook her head. "I'm forbidden to say."

"Please.." I begged.

"Bella, you know what he's doing. Just don't think about it." My hands shook nervously. I could tell she was worried as well. There was something else she wasn't saying. The bell rang. Lunch over. I stood up and threw my apple in the trash. Just great.

EPOV:

I stood at the line for the longest time, waiting for Jacob. He was such a coward. I knew he heard me coming. I was not quiet about it and how I felt about him. I let out a slew of curses on my way here and I know I yelled them so loudly it pierced the surroundings. I hated him with a passion, more than any one I had ever known. He hurt Bella. My face faltered, so did I.

I sniffed and scrunched up my nose. They were here. The lowly curs were probably going to try to ambush me but I didn't care. As long as I took him down with me. Sam was the first to walk up, and I deduced he was the leader from his thoughts. He didn't like me but he didn't want any problems.

"Edward." So he knew my name. He knew everything.

"You fucking know why I am here." I snarled out. "Bring me Jacob. NOW!"

"I can't do that. And if you step foot over that invisible line we all know is there, we will have to kill you." I could tell he detested saying those words but I was still 'A blood sucking leech'.

"Fuck your treaty." I said coldly, advancing over the line. He was taken back by my vulgarity and dismal of the rules. Even they thought I was peaceful. "I will wear your hide back to town if you don't produce Jacob. I will skin you and eat you in dog form or your pathetic human life form. I.. WANT..JACOB!"

My face was mangled up in a mask I had worn only a few times in my life. I wanted to annihilate all of them who didn't bring my heart justice. I shook every step I took closer to this person called Sam. He held my gaze and I could tell he wanted to back away but his pride bolted him there. As much as I wanted to slaughter them right now, this wasn't his fight, so he needed to get the hell out of my way.

Three wolves appeared in back of him through the trees. I knew this would happen, I had heard them planning this before I saw them. It was like they all could hear each others thoughts within the pack. Yet, no one helped Bella. Couldn't they see what he was doing to her? That made me even more irate. I leapt over the human mutt, and he called another warning.

Fuck this shit!!!! I sped to where Jacob stood. The others growled low and leapt but I slipped between them and my fist connected to Jacob's throat. He whined and flew through the woods. I back handed two wolves in one swipe and they lay stunned a few feet away as I advanced on the half-dead carcass. His blood was foaming out his mouth from where I crushed his esophagus.

His eyes were bulging and then he stopped breathing. I smiled. The fight was brief, but I had been praying for it to be longer. It didn't satisfy me. I kicked his dead body and heard the crack of his ribs. Bella was right, when had I become this unfeeling being? I had no remorse for what I did to this thing crumpled here. I turned and crouched low, bracing myself for the rest, but they didn't come after me.

Strange.

They tended to the lifeless form as I backed up. One of them looked at me with watery hate-filled eyes and advanced but was called back quickly by Sam. He shook his head at me and helped throw Jacob on one of their backs. They were thinking of flowers.. And.. maple trees. That caught me off guard. What were they hiding? My fists balled up and I let out the monster's roar. They were going to come after me that I knew.

Damn it. They would get all of us. Nice going stupid. I would be prepared obviously and who ever didn't want to stay and war this out could get the hell out of Forks. I wasn't running from this fight if they wanted one and I wasn't going anywhere. Even in hellfire I would terrorize Jacob. Surely, he would be there with me for what he did to an innocent.

* * *

_Oh, my God! Is she OK? I can't believe…so much blood. _I knew that wretched voice any where. Jessica Stanley. She was a weird one. One minute she was so jealous of Bella, the next they were close friends. Someone needed their Klonopin for their crazy ass mood swings. Maybe she would over dose and save us all from her stupidity. _Bella, like, looks soooo dead._

I hated running in human time but there were people about. What the hell was going on? All I knew was it involved her. If anything else happened to her I would find a way to die. I really would. Running into the school, I pushed past some people, taking care as to not actually barrel through them. I made my way towards the crowd in the gym. Every one was whispering and thinking about her bleeding.

I was too delirious to even focus on their words. I could smell it. I blanched and forced myself to not breathe. _I tried to get to her in time but I couldn't. _Alice was standing next to an EMT who was hoisting Bella onto a gurney . I ridiculously shoved the principal out of the way when I saw the one who held my soul. She was so pale white and blood leaked across the starch white of her top and sheets.

There was no doubt she had slit her wrists. My knees almost buckled. I shouldn't have left her to extract my revenge. She had needed me and I kept messing it all up. Every one was watching me stare at her when the medical personnel rushed past me to the ambulance. I turned to ogle the huge pool of her life's essence splattered and smeared across the locker-room floor, horrified.

In a tunnel I heard Alice talking as quickly as possible. She was getting thirsty.

"Um..Her name is Bella Swan, Chief Swan's daughter. Please, hurry." _Edward I can't see her future! _She was so distraught and it chilled me to the core. "She's pregnant, I don't know how far along." I needed to call Carlisle. "She's been very emotional about the whole thing." I watched the man nod and then run off.

I was frozen. Iced over. My legs felt like bolted lead to the floor. _Edward._ I couldn't respond. All I could think of was Bella's heart beat waning. I had singled it out amongst all of these people. It's drum was irregular and light. It was strong this morning. Healthy. _Edward. _Her scent was fading. Her beautiful, delectable scent. There was going to me no more Bella. _Edward! Come on. Please!_

The sirens blared as she was whisked away. Jasper cringed when he walked into the gym and quickly headed back out. The scent of her was too overpowering. My throat burned, sure, but not as much as my still heart. Not her. Anyone but her. God, listen to me. Please. I am forsaken, but don't turn your back on one of your lambs. Not because of me. I know I will not get into Heaven, but at least hear me out.

I continued my prayer as I ran to my car. I was frustrated that I couldn't run the way I liked. I felt like I was going in slow motion. Finally, reaching it, I peeled out almost plowing down Mike and Jessica as they rushed to their cars. Oh well, good riddance. Fuck them both.

I had dialed the phone before I had even thought about it.

"Carlisle.. No.. just…Carlisle…I am coming there now. It's Bella." I was gasping for air. "Help her! Just please fucking help her! No..save _her_! I don't care ..just save _her_!" I threw my phone down onto the seat as I navigated the slick roads. I was going insane rocking back and forth in my seat. My knuckles paled even more as I clenched the steering wheel.

I loved Bella. Jacob's baby, not so much. I wanted Bella. Jacob's baby, not even. I needed Bella. I will kill him in hell again! Dead or not he was still taking her from me. I spurred on close to 100 MPH and I could see the hospital in the near distance approaching fast. My body started an involuntary shake. Would she be alive once I got there?

Forget the fucking baby. I could care less about it. What if it's not his? My thoughts chimed in. See, I was still sane. Then I would be with Bella. We would be happy, right? Ha! Yes, we would be together forever. I would change her and then we would eat deer together. All three of us. The miniature Bella-Edward hybrid. Sucking on deer's blood. I chuckled in my car. Ha! Bella and me. Ha! A baby. HAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

I absently pulled at my hair with one hand. I didn't feel the pain. Nothing could hurt worse. I parked the car with a screech and raced into my father's workplace. Bella..I had to get to ER. The room whirled around me in a blur. It was more like a fast human run. Every one knew me, so they let me pass. I ran on until I reached Bella.

I stood back as every one rushed to hook her up to everything. Luckily, I knew exactly what kind of blood she had.

"A negative." I barked out, as I paced in the background. Every blood type had a different taste. A- was the sweetest. A five star restaurants most expensive decadent dessert. I swallowed as I looked at her blood leaking from her. A+ tasted like citrus flowers sugar coated. O+ was very filling and satisfying as if I had eaten a steak and lobster dinner with all the sides. O- was just the steak. B+ reminded me of when I tried salt and vinegar potato chips just to see what all the fuss was about. Shiver. B- was all vinegar. I deduced correctly that AB+ would be a combination of salt and vinegar flowers and AB- was sweet and sour. I tried to stay away from the last two in the past.

I watched my dad sewing Bella up. He looked at me. His eyes said so much more than his brain did. I cringed when the new blood entered her body. Sweet steak. I nearly gagged. He was finally done with the sewing but she had lost so many essential fluids.

I stopped pacing because I heard something. My head tilted as I listened closely. I heard Bella's heart beat gaining strength and ..another one. My mouth parted in awe as I strained. It was faint and breathy. The baby's most likely. I softened and smiled. I was weirdly exhilarated by this. I could hear it for once. I walked forward to her lifeless side. My hand crept out and touched her slightly rounded stomach. Rounded, already? Well, as tiny as Bella was that wasn't too impossible but it was a little soon.

Right then I felt the flutter. She wasn't exaggerating, she had felt it. My eyes shot to my father who was looking over Bella's chart. Surreal. I looked back down and I could slightly see her stomach shake. Absurd. But there it was, fluttering against my cold palm.

My father wisely had ordered an ultrasound for Bella. I recalled the first time she came here and my father secretly did her examination and placed her at two months. We both new that couldn't be right. He finally just exasperatedly stated that the baby could be larger due to Jacob's transformation. I had given him the look of death and he swiftly followed it up with an 'or yours'.

I was a hellion that day. Making every one hate me and Bella cry. I sighed in desperation. I better get a chance to make up for it. I had to make that one a re-do. _Assist me, Edward. _I nodded at him and he dismissed the nurse due to Bella's condition about being touched since her assault. She only wanted those she knew. I smirked, us Cullen's were very resourceful liars.

**Hey all I'm tired as IDK what! I worked on this for you all since it had been so long. This chapter isn't as long as the others but due to exams I had only 3 hours of sleep. I will try to update in the morning with the conclusion.**

**Review me might bring out the father's paternity sooner than later. Will u be surprised? Hehe**

**Also for more fun, to cheer me up for my next exam on 11/24/09 let's open up this for a Q&A session. Anyone want to ask me anything? I will answer any question .**


	12. Hospital Anxiety

EPOV:

Still after an hour, my father was looking perplexed as he stared at the picture on the screen. He sighed a few times and then shrugged. I never really saw him so stumped. He was trying to see the baby but he said Bella's amniotic sac was so thick that he couldn't see through it. That's odd. He was worried because he was afraid that something was wrong with the baby due to her blood loss.

"I can't see anything at all." He said dumbfounded.

I nodded. I couldn't either. "How far along is she?"

"According to Bella she is a week or two shy of two months. But.." He exasperatedly sighed pressing on her stomach, "She feels like she is near four, Edward."

"But not too long ago you said she was near two. How is that possible?"

"The baby is at some kind of accelerated state. I'm unsure of what to do for her, Edward, besides keep her alive."

"That's enough." I watched him give me a half-hearted smile and I took Bella's hand carefully. She stirred and her eyelids fluttered. I brought it to my lips and kissed it. I shook my head, she still smelled like sweet steak. Like a teriyaki gone bad. I chuckled.

"Edward." Bella's voice was raspy.

I smiled. It was good to hear her voice. "Yes, my love?"

"Are you mad at me?" Her eyes were still closed.

"No. No, I'm not mad at _you_."

"I'm so..tired." Her voice was really weak.

"Then sleep. But only on one condition."

"Wha…" Her voice trailed off and I could tell she was already out.

"Don't ever try to leave me that way again." I whispered.

"What the hell is going on?" I looked up to see Charlie busting through the emergency room doors. "Get the hell away from my daughter!"

"Charlie." My dad grabbed his arm before he could lay a hand on me.

"I know we are friends Carlisle, but your…_boy_… is causing too much stress on Bella!" He pointed towards me angrily.

"I didn't cause this." My voice hardened despite a look from my father to cease arguing.

"I guess you didn't get Bella pregnant either." I could have said something there but I didn't want it to be at an expense of Bella.

"Why don't you just calm down and maybe mind your own business because what I do has never concerned you at all."

"She is my business!" He was turning red.

"Well, maybe you should act like it. You know, maybe you should sit here with her all night like I'm going to be. And stop being a psycho when your daughter is laying here half-dead."

"You disrespectful, little shit." He gasped.

I laughed, un-phased. Charlie had never cussed before that I had heard. In his head he did, but never outwardly.

"I'm disrespectful, Sir? I was sitting here quietly, praying for Bella, hoping she would get better soon and you burst in here yelling at me and for nothing that I did do. I haven't done anything to you OR her," This time, I inwardly said, "for you to act this way. Yes, she's pregnant and yes I will take care of this baby and to do that I have to be here so as far as I'm concerned, you and your preconceived notions, can go straight to hell. Sir."

I saw Carlisle look at me like I had gone mad. Maybe I had. I never was this arrogant or even this bastardly, but I was sick of all the blame being put on me. For this, the rape of my beautiful Bella, was all on that dead asshole Jacob alone. I would not stand for it to be forced on me.

"He's just stressed as we all are Charlie. He loves Bella too, but I suggest you take all of your arguing some where else and not do it here. Bella can still hear you and she needs her rest, so please…" He motioned towards the doors outside.

"I'm not going any where so he can either sit here and shut up or leave." I growled. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Edward…" My father warned.

"What?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Mind yourself." _This is his daughter. You are acting preposterous!_

"Do I need to tell you to go to hell too?" Carlisle's face dropped in disappointment. _Edward.. _Right now, I really didn't give a damn. "Just get out of here, both of you!"

I think I confounded them because they did as I asked. I didn't feel right. It was like the monster inside of me was taking over my life for now. He was helping me deal with the things that I felt that I was incapable of handling on my own. I never liked that part of me before but I was starting to enjoy the way he made me feel invincible. Like I could take anything that was thrown at me.

Just like I took down that pansy ass Jacob. I got a brief sense of regret but then it was pushed away by the demon. He deserved it, he said. I nodded in agreement. And they will too if they ever decide to take revenge. I definitely broke the treaty. I needed to tell someone that important information. I smirked when I rehashed me cracking Jacob's ribs as a final insult. But it was so very much worth it.

SPOV: (Sam's point of view)

I watched the Elder's dance around Jacob as he lay there slowly healing. I was very happy that he had shifted and was hurt. There was a better chance for him to live because of that. He was lucky. I still couldn't get over how Edward had threw away all of his families years worth of peace making to kill him. I did understand why. I would have to speak to the Elder's about the whole thing. There was no doubt in my mind that Jacob forced Bella to do some things she was unwilling to do.

Paul was hurt that his friend was so close to dying, but as much as he hated the vampires, even he knew why Edward had done this. We all did. Many of us would probably do the same but it wasn't up to us to decide the Cullen's fate. We would have a meeting and each party would plead their case. Even him. I breathed in deeply as Jacob cried out in pain. We all cringed, mentally feeling his displeasure. His ribs were healing but the sickening crunch they elicited made me almost vomit.

BPOV:

I was alone on the bench of the gym's locker-room and I couldn't breathe. I felt Jacob's hands all over me. I closed my eyes, replaying over everything. I had liked it apparently from my loud orgasm. I shook my head and I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle my scream. My body betrayed me.

I felt gross and disgusting and I just wanted it all to end. I never thought about committing suicide before, but now was as good as any. I might as well add to being another damn statistic. I didn't want to hurt my baby, I just wanted it all to go away. Isn't that what all victim's would want?

I had brought a box cutter from home because..well, I was thinking on it and just didn't have the time with dad chaperoning me to school. I had all of the support right now with Edward's family and my dad was a bit hard on me but he still loved me. Didn't people who usually do this feel alone and unwanted? I felt neither so why was I even thinking about this? I was unsure but I took the sharp object out of my bag.

I held it in my hand and took a breath, fearing the pain that I know would come. It could never surpass what was deep inside of me though. I took a slice horizontally. I knew it wasn't the right way but I would still bleed the same right?

My blood flowed quickly out of me and I panicked at the sight of it. This was not a good idea. My hands shook and I called out for help. The lights were dimming for me fast. I hated the sight of blood, even my own. I was hyperventilating. I cried out for help. I didn't really want to do this after all. I just wanted help.

"Help me someone!" I fell to the ground dizzy, when I tried to stand. Instead blackness found me.

* * *

I remembered people talking over me and I heard lots of commotion. Edward, where was Edward? My eyes were still closed. I was too weak to answer anyone or even open them. My wrist hurt. I felt a slight pain on the side of my head. I groaned. She sounded so far away.

"_Bella…Bella wake up! Oh no.. I'm too late!" _Who was that? Oh, never mind, Alice. She couldn't take the scent of my blood. _"Someone call 911!…Bella, please wake up."_ Sorry, I just can't. I'm trying. I feel so tired Alice, and in pain, and weak. I just need to sleep…

* * *

Mmm, Edward is here. I tried to squeeze his hand but it hurt too much.

"_What the hell is going on? Get the hell away from my daughter!" _Dad calm down. I'm OK, really I am…Just drugged and sleepy and just.. I need to sleep.

EPOV:

It took Bella several days before she came around out of her deep sleep. I had stayed with her for every day and night. My dad would bring me food to fake eat and clothing to change into so I could appear human. I hated the times shared with Charlie. He would look at me with so much hostility that my face almost peeled off. I chuckled low and grinned at Bella who was eating jello making a face. She said she hated the green jello. Something about her mother's attempt at making it.

I took her hand and she smiled at me but then blushed when she remembered what she had done. I shook my head at her. I didn't fault her at all for this. Jacob wouldn't bother her any more, or me for that matter. A twinge of guilt tweaked inside of me and I pushed it far away. No, he deserved everything that happened to him. He was fucked up for that crap.

"Can you get me another soup?" She weakly asked.

I was gone in a jiffy and back in a few seconds. It was 3 A.M. so I had to worry less about being seen. I placed the soup on the table briefly brushing my hand on Bella's. She jumped subconsciously and her lower lip began to tremble. Shit.

The tears came, no, flooded her face. I scooped her up gently against me and I felt her body tremble. I didn't know how to help her so I did the only thing I knew. I kissed her. Maybe it wasn't the right timing after all she had been through, but she generally enjoyed my kissing.

I felt her body stop trembling and her breathing halted. I opened my eyes to gauge her reaction and her eyes were wide open. I pulled back, this was a very bad idea. My eyes asked for forgiveness and Bella touched her lips as she looked to her lap. Her hands had scrunched up the sheets there. I wanted to know what she was thinking at this very moment. Did she hate me?

I sighed and backed away further, but the tugging on my shirt sleeve automatically stopped me from going further. Her face was a plethora of emotions and the last one shocked me. She leaned closer and her mouth touched mine gently. So very gently, I almost didn't feel her lips.

Her kiss became more demanding and her tongue tried to dart inside of my mouth. I clamped my lips shut and she grunted in anger. She fisted a hand in my hair, pulling me closer as our kisses deepened. I resisted again and she made a guttural noise and tried to pull me on top of her even though she winced from her slightly sore wrist.

"Don't stop." She whispered when she sucked in some air to fill her starving lungs.

"I don't think this is such a good idea. Not now, of all places." My pleadings were getting me no where.

"You don't want me then." She pushed me away and laid back down not looking at me.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella. You're in a fragile situation and I cannot compromise that if we have sex."

"When I slept with Jacob," I stilled my face before I could scowl, "I told him to make me feel good because I was hurting. I don't want to ask the same thing of you, but I do want that. I want you to be able to touch me, Edward. I don't want to think of him. I have to think of you. Even though I didn't ask him for what he did, I didn't make it any better. I don't feel I should beg you, but I will if I have to. I know how you are, you will not do this if you feel it isn't good for me, but if you don't… it will be just as bad."

Not once did she look at me and I could tell she probably was crying silent tears. Her voice was slightly thickened by the end of her speech. I thought long and hard on her words before my hand slid under the sheets and underneath her hospital gown. She stiffened and grabbed my hand.

"I'm going to touch you. I won't hurt you. I promise." Her grip slackened. Her eyes closed briefly and she licked her lips when I brushed my knuckles across the small patch of hair there. Her eyes parted more to watch my lust-ridden face as I rubbed her clitoris. I didn't hide my instant hard on from her, it uncomfortably strained against the zipper of my pants.

Her legs opened giving me room to flick my finger against her. She moaned and bit her lip. I could tell she was hesitant to close her eyes. I deduced that she wanted not to think of ..him. I wish I could tell her that she would never have to worry about that, but I didn't want her to know any of what I've done. Her loud "oh" snapped me from my thoughts.

She was watching me intensely, and my fingers inside of her now, became more insistent. She squirmed absently on the bed and lost the fight as her eyes closed and euphoria swept over her face and body. The heart monitor erupted with noise and I covered Bella up quickly and sat down next to her before the nurses ran in. Then, I noticed her silent crying again.

It _was_ too soon.

JPOV:

I stood in front of the council with my head lowered. My sentencing was going on even though I was not completely healthy. My body was still battered and bruised but everything major had healed quickly enough. My voice was still croaking when they asked me what I had to say. I had to choose my words and thoughts correctly.

"I in no way meant Bella Swan ANY harm. I didn't mean to..rape her if that is what I did. I thought she was just saying no so she wouldn't feel guilty for having a boyfriend. Like before. Read my thoughts. You will see what I mean." Bella Swan was a tease.

Grumbles ensued. A few were on my side, but most thought I deserved punishment. I knew it was coming. I was going to get banned from the tribe. I didn't have to hear them say anything as they nodded to me and I was being led away.

"It is done." Paul said sadly.

There would be no coming back. To be shunned and put out of the tribe was still practiced. I was glad that I wasn't going to jail on the reservation but I still had a strong possibility of being sent to prison. If Charlie knew he would see to it. Wouldn't he be here already if he had been told?

There was only one thing to do. I had to find Bella and stop her from telling!


	13. An Eye For An Eye

BPOV:

I was finally cleared to go home and I was thankful. My father and Edward were at each others throats. I knew I could end it all if I just spoke up. It was easier for me to have them arguing with each other than focusing on me. Edward was always badgering me about telling Charlie about Jacob Black. Why even tell? He would just deny it and I would look like a fool in front of everyone when I took the stand. I would be considered promiscuous. Really? Well, I wasn't sure. But two guys in such a short period of time I probably could be labeled as such. If they ever asked me on the stand if I had slept with him prior to the incident, which I knew they would, I would be screwed.

Granted, that gives him no right, but it would create that seed of doubt needed along with absolutely no proof, and the case would be dismissed. I would look like a slut because I'm starting to show and had no idea which one of them was the father. I didn't believe in lying on the stand so I would tell them I wasn't sure. He would win and I would be the skank who cried rape. No, I should just move on.

"Technically, you are a slut." I sighed heavily. Edward walked in just in time to hear me. Well, actually he probably heard me rambling about my life down the hall way. Darn vampire ears. He didn't say anything, just put a small bag of things on my little hospital table in front of me. His look was stern. I scooted up more on the bed and peeked inside. I looked at him confused as to why he had these things. Well, here anyway.

"They are all of the gifts you have given me." I still didn't understand. Was he leaving me?

"Edward, don't do this. NO...not now…really? Now?!" I was starting to get a bit irate.

"Calm down, Bella." He rolled his eyes at me. "I am giving you back all of your gifts until I deserve them. I don't now."

"But you do…"

He shook his head. "I caused all of this."

"Come on, you didn't know that..well I didn't either but..who knew he would..well, do_ that_." I couldn't say the R word out loud.

"I cheated on you and that set the ball rolling quickly down hill. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don't know why or even how I could do such a thing…" I took the bag and threw it towards the trash. Edward was there to catch it before it ever landed. I smiled at him.

"You care about it, so keep it." He sheepishly grinned, which he often did when embarrassed and placed it next to his chair. "Let's start new Edward, ok?" I held out my hand and he reluctantly shook it eyeing my stomach.

"And if it's Jacob's?" Concern laced his voice.

"Then it's just Jacob's." I knew he hated my answer but it was the only one I could give him. I didn't think he would leave me but I didn't want to burden him either. I thought heavily about what Carlisle told me. An amniocentesis might be the solution to all of this.

"Where's Carlisle?"

"Making his rounds. You need him? Are you hurting?" The panic set in before I could explain. He was gone and returning with Carlisle in a few minutes, bursting in my room with the frantic vamp doc by his side.

"Bella. Let's have a look." I shook my head slightly frustrated by his exuberance.

"I just wanted to see if you could do the amnio before I leave..."

"Sure." He smiled reassuringly. "But there are risks as you know. Are you willing to sign a waver? You must waive us of any liability. The hospital that is."

"Whatever it takes." I nodded.

I lay back and watched the screen; squinting my eyes at what I was seeing. It was weird. I couldn't see my baby at all. I frowned. Ok, I knew that but trying to listen to my baby's heart beat was hard too. It was like it was beyond muffled. I looked at Carlisle who kept his face plain, but Edward wasn't as convincing.

"Alright, Bella, just relax and I am going to insert the needle now. I can't really see where I'm going so I hope and pray that I don't knick the baby." At that Edward hissed and Carlisle looked at him reassuringly.

"Edward, you're not the one becoming a pincushion so just chill out. You're freaking me." I snapped.

His lopsided smile told me he was as calm as he ever was going to be. His intense gaze was driving me wild. He watched me, then the screen, then me again. He was upset about this situation but I could tell he was coming around. I smiled at him. He was going to be a good father. My face fell when the baby started kicking up a storm.

"Ouch." I groaned.

Edward was by me in a flash, holding my hand.

"The baby's moving like mad." He said astonished, placing his other hand on my stomach to calm me.

"Can you hear anything Edward? I mean the baby's thoughts." Carlisle asked. "By the looks of it she's measuring about eight months."

"Eight months?! She barely looks four." My mouth fell open but I quickly closed it. "And no," he sighed. "They are just like Bella's, nonexistent to me."

"I'm sorry." I apologized though I knew that I didn't have to. I didn't do anything.

"Alright, I obtained a sample. We'll know in a few days Bella. I'll make this high priority." I nodded and looked at Edward. His face was stone. He was hiding his emotions from me and he snatched his head away from my stomach.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" The tone of his question was slightly harsh but Carlisle let it go and patted my hand and retreated with Mr. Brooding and Annoying.

"You can get dressed Bella. Your friends are waiting to see you." I whipped back the covers. This crap was getting too weird from me. When was I ever going to wake up from this apparent Twilight Zone episode!

I lay there waiting for Edward; he was having a very lengthy conversation. I wanted to be nosey and track them down and snoop but I wasn't good at those things. Undoubtedly, I would get caught and get bopped in the head by the swinging door. I started to always expect the unexpected when it came to me. I was so dangerous to my health. Present situation definitely included.

"Bella." My breath caught. I knew that voice.

I whipped around and I stared into his evil angered eyes. My best friend, no, ex best friend Jacob stood there and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. He had to have heard about the incident at my school. Forks was small and every one talked. Especially Jessica Stanley, the queen of gossip. Was he truly concerned? Even if he was, it didn't matter.

"Get the hell out of here." I raised my voice slightly.

"Shut up." He bossed, but somewhat quietly.

"Get the hell out of here!" I screamed getting out of bed and trying to push him backwards. Before I realized what happened I was falling into his arms. I tried to fight the darkness but I couldn't. What the hell. My temple felt hot and the pain was thumping away. I could hear my heart beat and then I heard…

There was a small roaring and I coughed. There was smoke. I panicked as I fought to regain consciousness, the room swirling around me once I opened my eyes. I deep breathed and focused and the many shapes became one. I sat up slowly eyeing Jacob by the far wall, warily. We were in some kind of cabin and he was throwing sticks into the crackling fire. I looked around for a weapon and eyed a cast iron pot on the stove. I quietly slipped out of the bed and towards it.

"I would be there before you could even get it Bella. So go back to bed. You need your rest."

My eyes flickered back to it and I slumped my shoulders, he was right, but I had to try. His hand came out and stopped me right as I almost touched the handle. He began walking me backwards toward the bed and I fought him. Writhing as much as I could to break free, but this different Jacob was strong and hard, always like stone.

One hand held my wrist and the other held my throat. I tried to push up against his chest but he wouldn't budge. I stared into his defiantly. Not this way, not again. He smirked as if he could tell that I read his mind. The baby began kicking me again. He didn't want this either. I lost all will when Jacob was on top of me on the bed. His hand squeezed my throat painfully and he let go of my wrist.

"I didn't rape you Bella; I need you to tell everyone the truth." He said nibbling the side of my neck.

"I can't Jake." I panicked. "I don't want this and here you are again choosing for me." He lifted up to yank off my jeans. I closed my eyes. Come on, Edward. Find me! I whimpered when he removed my bikini cuts. I didn't want to go through this one more time and I smacked him, stinging the hell out of my hand.

He didn't react but his eyes closed and he was holding my legs open and I could feel him just about to push inside of me and I lost the fight. I closed my eyes too. I was disgraced and saddened that I couldn't fight him.

"Oh ..oh my God!" My eyes opened at his words and he scrambled to get off of me. At the same moment I realized why he was freaking out. A sharp pain nearly doubled me over. The sheets were wet and I began to shake. The baby was coming.

"You have to take me back…or let me call Edward…I need help." I sounded as if I were a prepubescent teen. My voice was high and squeaky.

"Hell no. I can't take you back to the Rez either, Bella. I'm just going to have to help you do this."

"Jake," I begged. "Please, please, don't. I can't have my baby out here. It's..it's not normal!"

"Well, I know you had your heart set on the hospital but-"

I rolled me eyes and pointed angrily towards my stomach. "No, stupid. _It_..it isn't normal. Hello. I should be two months and I'm about to deliver. Think!" A sharp pain hit me again and I instinctively breathed through it.

In his eyes flickered knowledge and he cursed under his breath. He put a pot of water on the stove heating it, like they did in the movies and ran around grabbing towels and blankets. The sharpness of my contractions were getting alarmingly close together and so fast that I could barely do anything but scream.

The table next to the bed had everything on it. I could see some of the items: towels, water, scissors. I blanched at the some what rusted scissors. Blankets had been placed under me.

"How..how long has it been?"

"Thirty-seven minutes and counting."

"Oh, so much pressure." My head hit the pillow as I moaned, being taken over with another stronger than the last.

"I'm not a doctor or anything, but in the movies, that means you might have to push."

Another pain came harder than the latter.

"Help me…please help me." My cheeks were hot and flushed and the sweat was pouring from my brow. This was the only time that I wished he would touch me.

EPOV:

I had been searching for Bella for hours now and I couldn't smell her any where. I hated that I couldn't read her mind. She wasn't answering her phone or listening to her voicemails. I had filled her box and I could no longer leave any voicemails. I knew what had taken her but where had they taken her? I had lost their scent at the river. One of the Quilete's had stolen her. Was it for possible vengeance for killing one of their runts?

I crossed the invisible line onto their land. If it's a war they want then it will be a war that they get. No one takes what I love. I even slightly wanted the baby, which I wasn't ready for, but it was possibly my child and I wouldn't want my blood of Bella's flesh to be harmed. And Jacob had fucking done enough.

I was attacked before I got close enough and I crouched and sprang, back flipping and kicking one of the wolves into a tree. I heard him howl in pain and then charge me again. Persistent bastards they were. I grabbed him by the neck and hurled him into his friend, Seth. I was very fortunate to be able to read minds, because this was a cake walk.

Even if I hadn't been able to I would have fought like mad to get to her. They were wondering what purpose I had here and why I was even bothering them. I was caught off guard by the fact Jacob was disowned from the tribe. Quil knocked me ten feet and I shook it off and stood. Running up on him I jumped up, hovering over him a second before I landed on his back.

He tried to shake me off and I lifted my hand to plunge it into him but I snapped my head up. They stopped fighting me and after reading their minds cautiously hopped down. I backed away, still in a strained stance incase it was a trick.

"Come, Edward." The leader of the pack motioned towards me and the rest of them backed away. I followed down the cleared line towards him. He better have the answers I seek or I will end his life in one punch. And unlike Jacob, I would make sure he didn't get up.

BPOV:

I held my baby and I just stared at her. She was so perfect and tiny. I counted her fingers and her toes and she snuggled into me. Her eyes were wide open and they were the prettiest chocolate brown. Depthless and drawing. I smiled at her and ran a hand over her wild hair. Just like her father's and the same color as well.

I just knew when I saw her that she wasn't Jacob's. The joy that brought me sent warmth spreading across my body. She was perfect and everything I had hoped, no matter how fast and unexpected the hole thing was. I leaned over to kiss her.

"No.." Jacob growled snatching her out of my arms. "Don't touch her."

She began to cry holding out her tiny fragile hands until he wrapped her up in a blanket and placed her near the fire. I watched him sniff her. How odd. His face scrunched in disgust and he reared back. His body trembled.

"She's not mine…" His dumbfounded expression told me he had made his mind up that she had been from the beginning.

I wanted to say something but all I could think of was getting her back in my arms. I had to protect her from raving lunatic formerly known as my friend. I tried to speak but I couldn't. I just held my arms out for her. He would give her to me, he would.

A half human growl vibrated the room and I watched him change. Change? I blinked, unsure of what I was seeing. He was now a hairy beast. I sat there in shock, as it..Jacob..crouched low in the room. He bared his teeth, snapping at me and bent low grabbing the baby.

"Wait!" I leapt out of bed despite the pain and took hold of a fistful of his hair..fur. His eyes panned to me as I made a tug to free her. With nothing else said between us he shook me off and bounded through the door. The splinters shooting ever which way and I blocked my face. I ran after them in the dust and blindness until I could no longer see them, and even still I ran. I wasn't going to stop until I had her back. The fatigue from birth had weakened me some and I faltered, scraping my hands against a tree stump. I pushed off and trekked on. I couldn't let him get away.


	14. Fixing The Wrong

BPOV:

"Jacob!…Jacob!…Jacob!!!!" I screamed, my voice nearly gone as I rushed on. "Please! Come back, Jake."

I stumbled and fell on a rock, scraping my shin. I forgot the pain as the dull ache of my baby being taken from me so soon overshadowed it. Lifting up I pushed to my feet and ran on. The cramping in my abdomen made me double over from time to time and I was bleeding some. I cringed. This was gross but I didn't have a choice. Anything. Anything, to get my baby. My little Renesmee.

After a few hours, I collapsed. I was spent and light headed. I had no more fight in my muscles, no matter how much my brain screamed to move on. I deep breathed heavily and I cried so hard. I hated this. The spinning forest stilled some and I lay there screaming for Jacob until I lost the battle to fever and slept.

EPOV:

I crossed the line back onto no man's territory only to be greeted by a distraught Alice. She must know that Bella was kidnapped, though she said she couldn't see past the dog pack. For some reason they were immune to her powers, but not to mine. I was glad I could read there minds because I was going to unjustly kill them all for one man's mistake. No, mistake was a wrong word, more like deliberate intentions. I had to find her before…My hands clenched. He better not touch her again!

I berated myself for even letting them take him so he could live. They had seen what he had done. They chose to harbor one of their own and let him do this. I could feel the thought of the prior plan shift too the forefront and I pushed it aside. No, Bella was more important now. I needed to find my reason for life. I wasn't a vampire for nothing.

"Edward..he..oh..God..I hate to tell you this."

"Just spit it out Alice. I have to find Bella. I've wasted so much time already." I sped on as she rushed along side me trying to keep up.

"I could only catch bits and pieces but..Bella was running in the forest and she..was covered in blood..and.."

I stopped then and turned towards her horrified. "He raped her again? Don't tell me that! Not right now." I was slipping into insanity quickly.

"No…He took the baby." Pain flickered in her eyes and mirrored in mine.

"Damn it, just because it was his child he shouldn't have done that to Bella. She must be inconsolable. I need to be with her. Do you think you can tell me where she is?" Her silence made me rage. "Just fucking tell me Alice!"

"She…is yours." A boulder slammed into my stomach and with out realizing it I collapsed and hissed out my anguish and pain.

"I didn't tell any one where I was going. I just came after you as soon as I could. Edward, I saw her. She looks so much like you and Bella."

"No. No more." My fist was clenched so hard that my nails dug deep into my palm, shredding them. "How far is she?"

"Five minutes. Go. I'll be a minute behind you." Her eyes glazed over. "Edward, North West, over the ridge. Hurry, she's sick."

* * *

I was nearly ill from the smell because it was so prominent. Too strong, meaning copious amounts of blood lost. Bella's blood right now wasn't beckoning me because I was so worried about her. Funny how that was. Only in sex did it flair up. I didn't have to really sniff Bella out, her splattered blood droplets led me right to her. She was laying face down and shivering, unaware of my presence.

I scooped her up and within minutes I was at home and rushing Bella up to my room. Alice had warned every one so they had stopped breathing. I saw Jasper swallow and his eyes darted crazily, and Alice ushered him outside. Not today Jasper, I didn't have time for your shit. Carlisle was already home and ready. My room was full of medical equipment.

I placed her on the bed and Carlisle ushered me aside. I watched as he hooked her up to an IV and blood. I sniffed. She was going to smell funny again. Just when I thought this would all be over once she got out of the hospital I had to play another waiting game. As much as I wanted my baby, I wasn't going to leave Bella when she was like this. I would have to send someone else.

I came down the stairs, drained. Rosalie stood up.

"So you are telling me she had the baby? You're baby?"

I read Rosalie's mind. She always wanted a baby and now she had a niece to spoil. If we could ever find her. I know I would never give up but it was harder since she was with Jacob. I heard a whimper from upstairs and I ran back to her. Their questions will have to wait.

RPOV (Rosalie):

"We should go kill that beast." I said. I was irritated. "Finally get a baby in this place and hairy dumb ass takes her."

"Calm down Rose. How do you think our bro feels?" Emmett my dear love, shut the hell up.

"I'm just saying." I plop down in a huff. "She's my niece and I want to spoil her." I pouted also.

"I can feel how much pain they are having." I watched Jasper's face change quickly. He looked devastated. I rolled my eyes. Why did they have to be such weirdo's? Between Edward's mind reading and not finding me attractive, Jasper's mood thingy, and Alice's visions I would say the rest of us were the normal.

"Your jealousy really makes you ugly Rose which is why I never saw you as attractive."

Edward's voice cut into my thoughts. He didn't have to call me out like that. Especially in front of Emmett who eyed me suspiciously. I shook my head at him and smiled and he was fine. I turned my head and gave my brother my evilest death glare. The look on his face told me he wasn't phased by it.

"Stop it you two." Esme's voice calmed us as it always had. "We'll find her."

"Edward…" We all looked towards Carlisle at the head of the stairs before they both disappeared again.

______________

BPOV:

I hadn't given up hope no matter how many weeks had went by. My dad had taken it upon himself to alert the media and the police in every neighboring county. As if that would stop anything. I was so tired of being depressed. I just wanted my baby. Edward would try to make me laugh but I couldn't even do it. I had an irreplaceable hole in my chest. No baby, no patched up heart.

My dad was concerned about me and I had lost at least ten pounds. I couldn't eat much. My stomach churned at the sight of food. I watched Edward now. He was intently staring at the news. He wasn't really paying attention to it. I could tell his mind was tumbling over different places to look. Where Jacob could possibly be. He looked like he hadn't ate in weeks. His eyes were completely dark and depressed.

A twinge of guilt stabbed me in the stomach and I whined before I could stop myself. He moved from the chair to the bed quickly and before I knew I was sprawled across his cool chest and he held me tightly. A familiar twinge throbbed lightly. I hadn't been this close to him in a while. I had refused his touch. He had taken it all from me with out a complaint.

I kissed his chest shyly. We hadn't kissed in so long. I had denied him because of Jacob and out of guilt. It wasn't fair and I needed him. I needed his touch. Edward moaned so lightly that I almost didn't hear it. I looked up at him and his eyes were closed, his face strained. He was rigid and didn't want to touch me. I realized he was shielding himself from disappointment. It was sad that he had to protect himself from me.

That spurred me on and I lifted up to kiss him on his lips. I needed him close. I needed him tonight. No, I wasn't selfish. He needed me too. He needed this too. He didn't kiss me back, instead turned his head and defeated I sunk back down to press my face against his chest.

"Edward…" My voice croaked against the tears I was fighting.

"No, Bella." I sniffed back a cry.

"Why?" I squeezed him tightly. I was somewhat sounding childish.

"You need to heal." I knew he was making excuses.

"I am healed." I sat up and his eyes opened to implore me to stop.

"Bella…" He sighed deeply and rolled over and feigned sleep. I could hear my heart shatter onto the floor. When had I become such a repulsive creature to him? My eyes widened. It wasn't me. Oh how could I be so stupid? He was suffering just as much as I was. He was missing his child. He was depressed just as much as I. The pain wasn't mine alone to share.

I took the hem of his shirt I was wearing and lifted it over my head. Scooting in closer to him I pressed my warm, naked body into his back, wrapping arms around him. I could feel the quickening rise and fall of his chest and I knew I was getting to him. I silently pleaded with him not to turn me away. If we had any hope on finding our daughter then we had to fix us first.

I kissed his shoulder multiple times. Licking him and biting him the exact way I knew would arouse him. With an irritated growl I was on my back and under him in a second. His lips strained back to bare his teeth. I wanted to be scared but in that moment I found him sexy. His growl had made me whimper and the heat pooled between my legs making me moist and I wiggled my hips. I didn't realize it was into his crotch until I felt it pressing up against me. He was unmistakably hard.

His hard body moved away from me for a second and then returned with out clothing. I had no time to prepare as he entered me. We both swiftly took in a breath and our eyes closed. I hurt some as he began to move but I didn't want to ruin it. His thrusts were demanding and his hands found mine only to put them above my head. My shoulders popped at his quick movements and I cried out as he held them there. His mouth covered mine and took it into his mouth.

A brief image of Jacob flashed behind my eyes and I popped them open. Wiggling under Edward, I tried to free my hands. I wanted him but not like this. Not without feeling. Not like I was just a lay to him. Not as if I was just a body to comfort himself with. I was his girlfriend. I loved him deeply. I needed his kind and gentle hand, not this angry Edward.

Tears fell down my eyes. Not this again. I didn't want to return to this and I didn't necessarily want Edward to stop but he was triggering me. He heard the change in my heart and breathing and stopped immediately. He stared down at me concerned and the panic was evident on my face. His brow furrowed and then defeated sighed.

"Shit." Was the monetary word from him as he tried to roll off of me.

If he went now there would never be another moment. I just knew that. I held on to him and he didn't fight me. My mouth found his at the very same time that I lifted my hips and then dropped them down. I repeated again, setting the pace. It was slow. Lovemaking slow.

Edward followed suit and thrust inside of me the same way. He kissed down my neck and shoulder, then down my arm and over to my breast. My nipple was peaked and waiting as his mouth covered it. He was careful with his teeth. This was better. He was being gentle and loving. Something we both needed.

"Oh." I couldn't help but to say and my back arched. I held his head to me as his mouth and tongue did wonders. He kissed from one breast to the other as he paid homage to its twin. My hand ran from his head down his back and my legs came about his waist.

He kissed back up my chest to my neck and licked there. I shivered and I felt the familiar sensation about to combust inside of me. It came closer but creeping at a snails pace and by the time it reached the forefront I was none too quiet. He continued, drawing it out for me. I tried to stop his name from my lips but they were having none of that. I had said things I'm sure would embarrass me later.

My voice was shaky and he never stopped the pace even when turning us sideways. My back was to him now and he held me close to his body. His hand closed over my breast, squeezing it slightly. I turned my head slightly to kiss him and when I did his other hand slipped between my legs. It had been so long since this had happened that from almost mere thoughts of what would happen next sent me careening into another orgasm.

Expertly, Edward's fingers rubbed my sensitive nubbin. My body spasms were uncontrollable and I couldn't take back the guttural, breathy things that were coming out of my mouth. He took my left leg and hooked it over his arm, opening me up more for him. I cried out as another one claimed me again. I was so sensitive that I moved awkwardly against him. It was too much. Oh god, to much.

"Bella." It was quick and raspy. Edward's head was thrown back slightly and he continued but picking up the pace. I couldn't formulate a word and my mouth fell open. His body went rigid and he sped up again and my name flew from his mouth once more. I cried out, my body had been pleasured quite enough. He shot his seed inside me and from feeling that I quickly came with him. I was relieved it was over because I didn't think I could handle one more.

He lowered my leg and held me close to him. I hated this reaction that was coming. My body trembled on it's own accord for another reason. Crocodile tears flowed quickly and I couldn't help it. We had been so close, and it had taken so long for this to happen that it overwhelmed me. I think I sobbed for nearly an hour until I slept. Still in the comfort of his loving arms.

The next morning I awoke. It had been the first night that I had actually slept since Renesmee was taken. The first day that I slept nearly to noon. I sat up and stretched. A tray of food sat next to the bed. Edward was no where in sight. I started to eat the fruit plate when I noticed a card with my name on it.

In mid chew I snatched it up and read it intently. I squealed in delight. A tip. Jacob had been seen near the Easter Islands with a little girl about the age of one. I frowned re-reading that part. He was insane. Had he taken another child? And what had he done with mine? I had to find out.

Ignoring my food now, I leapt out of bed and ran to Edward's closet. I didn't care what I wore, I just had to put on something. I brushed my hair quickly and ran down the stairs. Charlie was there and I looked at him confused. It wasn't a surprise that he knew I was here because supposedly I was sleeping over at Alice's to clear my head. What had shocked me was the increased concern on his face.

"Dad." I slowed.

"Bells. I'm sorry." I didn't understand what he was saying. Esme and Carlisle looked at me knowingly.

"For?" I held my breath.

"For what I'm going to have to do."

"And that is?"

"Send you to Jacksonville... with your mother."

I slid down to the stairs losing my grip on the railing. He had bad timing. I couldn't leave now. Not when we were so close to finding my baby girl. She was 8 weeks old today. Did he know that? Did Edward? I sure as hell knew. How could I just leave her behind and what did Edward have to say about this? Of course he would revolt against the idea. My eyes squinted as I eyed him in the distance standing in the corner. Not looking at me. I began to chew on my lip. Damn him. He was having me sent away.

**Thanks for waiting so long for an update. The house I just moved into says thank you and so do I : )**


	15. CONTEST WINNERS!

**CONGRATULATIONS TO THE ONE SHOT CONTEST WINNERS!!!!!!**

**bbbluez and VampireEva!!!**

_Contest winnings: I will write a One Shot for each of you. Tell me which character you want to hear from. Also what situation in my story (if any) that you want to hear some one's side from. _

**Email me with your choices!**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	16. VampireEva's One Shot

ONE SHOT: CHAPTER ONE, EDWARD AND ALICE'S POV

_Thanks to VampireEva for this one shot. I think it's nice to hear their point of view! Yayz =)! There are 2 sides to every story. Bella's memory was the watered down version and Edward's of course is hooked on every detail and an inside to his forever tortured soul b/c well that's just our Edward. He wanted me to tell u all "My poor human Bella. My love for her is never ending despite her iridescent side of events. My memories are like stone." TY Edward. (yes, I am a bit odd)_

EPOV:

Paris is in Juliet's chamber grieving her death when Romeo arrives. Romeo is apprehended by Paris and Romeo stabs him. Romeo kisses Juliet's body and takes the poison. The Friar arrives to find Romeo dead. Juliet wakes to find Romeo dead and no poison left for her, she uses the dagger to kill herself in grief.

I sighed. I had seen this so many times through out my life that I could not stand it any longer. I could see out of my peripheral vision. My love, Bella, watched me occasionally. I wasn't going to budge. She was perturbed. In deed, I knew why. I could sense her turned on state. Actually, I could smell it. She wasn't the only one in need of a body. I as well wanted her but not after last time. No, never.

She had to stay at the end of her couch. If not then things wouldn't fair well for her. She would be de-virginized and possibly dead/turning into a vampire. I wanted none of those scenarios no matter how hard she tried to force my hand. Her frustrated growls that she was making were chinking away at my wall very quickly. The sexiness of them were becoming too much. Just like that night..

"_Just kiss me, Edward. You know you want to. I definitely want you to." She scooted closer to me and the rise and fall of her perky breasts were nearly my undoing. I could see the peaks of them straining against the nearly see through material of her top. I tried not to look but the beckoning of the movement was too clear._

"_Bella-" I had forced out from between my lips. I stopped short of saying what I had thought when she touched the sleeve of my shirt. Her warm hands had sent shock waves of lust through my body. Instantly raising the monster within to a dangerous level. My eyes darted to her throat. The pulse there ticking rapidly made me all but lick my lips. It wasn't a common thing for me to do, but I wanted to sink my teeth into the creamy white skin there. Surely it was as good as it looked._

"_It's just a kiss." Was she sure? I wasn't. A kiss for most teens were the road to damnation. For me, a vampire, it was a road to the ultimate of the ultimate. Death for Bella. She leaned closer towards me. I watched her lips part expectantly. Give me strength. Much more than I already had._

"_I'm going to hell for sure." I mumbled, low enough so she wouldn't hear. Every time I had said such thoughts she would chastise me and give me a lecture on how hell is for bad people. She couldn't see me as bad. I wanted to..no HE, the monster, wanted to kill her right now and take her body while doing so. He was winning at least the last one. "Alright. But.. If it goes too far.." And it would. This I knew._

"_You will stop it. I know, I know." Her eyes rolled and I could tell she was disgusted with my antics. They were for her safety. So ready she was to have all of me. I wasn't sure if she would like me when she got me. I chuckled which further irritated my love. I couldn't help it, she was looking so delectable._

_She moved even closer and brushed my lips. I instantly froze. She deepened the kiss to elicit a response. She was trying too hard to get me to respond. I stayed the way I was, holding myself rigid. I couldn't deny the fact that another part of me was the same way and it throbbed for her. She held my head in her hands, fisting my hair and continued to deepen the kiss. I responded closing my eyes. Her mouth always felt nice to me. It was no mystery why I couldn't stop myself from responding. I felt her tongue dart near my teeth and I jerked my head from it, pushing her back and away from me. My head fell to the couch as I panted. I didn't have to breathe but it was a common thing to do when hot and bothered._

"_Bella, you know you can't-" I wanted to get up and move but I was frozen here for some reason. I wanted to stay. I needed this feeling to go away but no such luck. Her lips had returned upon mine, even more needy, more tasty. I kissed her back in earnest and felt her straddle my lap. I shifted my hips and my throbbing penis encased in these pants, rubbed against hers._

_She mewed at me. I let out a low growl. She was crushing my control by those noises and the heat between her legs increased. I grinded into her and everything was lost to me. My mouth sought hers out even though my brain cried out against it. Every kiss began to increase. Soft to needy to rough to demanding. I wanted everything she could give. I wanted it all. I wanter her taste, her breath, her saliva, her blood, her life!_

_Her hand wrapped around my erection and it was over. I let out an inhuman noise, and I threw her down on the couch. I was losing control. My lip curled in a scary way and I inside watched her cower away from my touch. I couldn't help her. He was loose. My eyes..his eyes..again flickered to her throat. He leaned down and sniffed her neck there. Flicking my tongue…his tongue..to her pulse._

"_Edward…please." Her voice was shaky and I cried out to her. He was in control..It wasn't me! He ground between her legs sadistically, disgustedly displaying his power. He moaned into her throat as his mouth opened. He held her neck to the side as he chuckled dementedly. He was thirsty. Hungry for Bella. He kissed his prey as she lay there. The demon sniffed in her quickened open mouth breaths. Ahhhh, Bella. His head reared back and swiftly lowered. Hovering just over her pulse._

"_Bella, crap." I had won, catapulting myself backwards off of her. She scrambled off the couch and ran to the corner. As if that could have saved her. She cowered there, holding herself. This was what she had wanted, but I could see she wasn't ready for it._

I blinked when her breathing changed as it usually did when she was thinking. I wasn't the only one strolling down the dark demented memory lane. Fucking hell. She was going to start in on me, I just knew it. How could I get out of this? I couldn't stand another strain on my resistance. My fist balled up in my lap. Just then my ears perked up as her phone buzzed.

"Edward, it wasn't your fault." There it is. Damn. I couldn't help the reaction that always was. I scoffed and my face swirled many emotions.

"You almost got your wish, Bella! To be one of us." I hadn't meant to roar at her but that seemed inevitable right now.

"Is that so bad?" Is that so bad? I mimicked her in my head. Only she would say something so insulting as that.

"God, you are so willing to die. If you keep playing with fire you won't just get burned. You'll get dead. What if I can't stop?" It was true. Everything I had told her was true. My frustration grew.

"You stopped before.." Barely. This was useless. She would think as she wished.

"Hmm, so I did." It shut her up and I turned back to the movie. I hated to see her so upset, but she was wrong. Stupid human. I laughed on the inside until she stormed away. I resisted the urge to follow my lady love. She needed to get over this. It was unsafe, but.. I also was a man.

PING!

She had email. I knew that sound any where. I could hear her clicking away and I found myself curious as to what it said and from whom.

-------

APOV:

"Alice..are you meddling again?" Jasper teased me, as I shrugged him away from kissing my neck.

"Um, hold that thought, kay?" I sat down and with lightning speed typed a message. The computer couldn't keep up so I waited for the message to appear. My brother and Bella needed to happen. So what if I just furthered along fate. If not, it would be three more years. Their angst was killing Jasper and driving my visions insane with their will they, won't they futures.

"Alice…" He called a warning to me.

"Just hold on Jasper. Almost done." I read it over thinking on anything else I might want to add.

_**Hey Bella,**_

_**Disaster tonight so far. Edward's feeling all moody. I would have called again but I see you were too pissed to answer your cell phone. He just needs persuasion. A lot of it. I left you a present under your bed. Two boxes. He can't resist it. Trust me. **_

_**Be safe (Hehe), **_

_**Alice**_

No, it's perfecto. I clicked send and then closed my laptop. Scooting into the bed with my naked man I contemplated tonight's events. Jasper resumed kissing my neck and I giggled. Dear brother, you won't be the only one getting some tonight.

---

EPOV:

I heard Bella cry out and my mind thought the worst. I was a blur as I took the stairs in not even a second, bursting into her room and catching her just as her nose and hands almost touched the ground. Her face turned red as she stood up; clumsily fixing her footing.

"Thanks. You always save me." This was true. She clearly found too much mischief to get into. Always on accident, but always life threatening. She was a doom magnet. She flipped backwards onto the bed. I was quite shocked, but then questioned her with my eyes.

"I swear you are doing this on purpose, love." I smirked. That moment gave me the actual time and mental power to assess her sexy lingerie. Her bust nearly flowed over the top. This had to be a punishment for a sin clearly committed. There was no way in hell I could make it out of this room. Run..I tried to tell myself.

"N-no. Not really." She was trying to avoid my eyes. Well that was fine because I wasn't exactly staring in hers. They ravaged over her and before I had realized it I was breathing quickly. I felt the change in my body as it succumbed to her. I chuckled when I realized that it was evident to her as well when her eyes darted downward. They widened at the sight.

"Is this what you wanted?" I subconsciously rubbed myself.

"Well, sort of." She reached for me and I had second thoughts. One more look at her outfit convinced me I should just give in. "I just.. Need you. Please."

She was begging me for something I should readily give. I felt a pang of guilt. She wanted me this much. How could she stand it? I was a bastard for not fulfilling her needs sooner. Her lips touched my face and I closed my eyes. She felt so good against my skin. The kiss to my lips was a bit rougher than I expected.

"Bella, if I can't control myself I will leave. I can't bear to hurt you." I warned. Her breathless "I know" showed me how very ready she really was. Her hands frantically pulled off my shirt and I let her do her bidding. I lay under her now and I raised an eyebrow. What was she up to? "You look beautiful. I can't stop staring at you. Or touching you."

My hands ran down the length of her and rested on her buttocks. She blushed and looked down, so on instinct I raised her head to kiss her. Abruptly she ended the kiss to my dismay, shaking her head no. I tried to recall if I had been too violent with my kiss, but was quite sure I hadn't. Maybe it was time for this to end. Before I could reach for my shirt, she began planting kisses along my chest. Her teeth grazed and then bit a hardened nipple as she continued her mind-altering descent.

Her name came out in a moan. I knew where she was heading but had never experienced this before so I was unsure of what I was in store for. I felt her hands on my belt and I let out another groan. Could she kill a man with her lips? I would never know, because I was already far past dead. The angst of my lust would have killed me alone. I slightly assisted when she pulled down my pants.

Her warm hand encircled my hard on and I stopped breathing. I gripped her wrist. This. No. I couldn't take the feeling. I heard the monster berate me as I issued another warning to her. That's all I could do at this point in time.

"Bella, if we do this…I don't think I could stop. Tell me to go." I almost added 'I beg of you' but I knew that would probably entice her into doing what I didn't want even more. That's a lie, I wanted it, and so did the demon inside. At least we finally agreed on something.

I lay there with my eyes closed and helplessly releasing growls. Her hand found a rhythm that I couldn't resist and I loosened the death grip hold I nearly had on her wrist. Her tongue touched the slit of my penile head and then swirled quickly around it and I was done for.

_Reach down…bring her up to you. Crush her jugular and drink..yessss. _No. My hand flew back and I took my aggression out on something else. Wood splintered and I grabbed another fistful. For God's sake. It felt too good. I couldn't help but to beg her to quit this. I couldn't control him if I couldn't control me. Instead she continued as I knew she would, this time bringing me into her warm mouth. She increased pace, taking me into the back of her throat. Chunk after chunk I tore her headboard apart.

"Bella, god, Bella. You must stop. I can't.. we can't.. I'm going to-" I moved about against my will on the bed. I had to do something. It felt so damn good, but I couldn't end it with out her. "No! Not yet." I mustered. Her jaw slackened and I pulled her up, then turned us both, so that she was underneath my all too willing body. I tore off the flimsy clothing.

"I was starting to like that you know." She giggled.

"Me too." I admitted and hastily rid her of her underwear. I winked at her. "I'll leave the leggings and shoes on."

"Please hurry, Edward. I'm ready." And she wasn't the only one. I pushed her legs more to the side and delved inside her with my fingers. Thanks to Emmett for explaining how to make a virgin's pain less though it sort of scarred me a bit. I learned too much about him in that conversation.

"The scent of you right now is maddening." I couldn't help but to taste her. I growled at it. It was sweet poison.

I needed to take her and shifted my hips to press closer to her dripping mound. I forced myself in and pushed past her barrier. Jesus. I held still. I shook lightly trying to control the impulse to go deeper. I looked down to see how she was fairing and she alarmed me. She was crying. I wiped her tear away.

"Shit!" I was almost out of her when she panicked and wrapped her beautiful legs around me.

"No, no, please no!" She surprised me by that and then began persuading me with her kisses.

I slipped back, and she fully cloaked me. Slow. I had to go slow or else I would lose it. I could…oh God in heaven…it was so hard to be gentle. Everything inside of me needed a release. My body took over. I slid out fully, and then more forceful back in. Damn. The feel of her was exquisite.

"Bella." I moaned as I held her wrists to the bed. Deeper, I needed…uhhh…I needed deeper. She was bucking against me. I couldn't hold out. Her spasming internal muscles were sending me reeling into a place I hadn't been before. Euphoria.

I felt as if I might have been bruising her insides. My hips were wildly moving. Pushing. Pulling. Grinding. Thrusting. Her body was going just as crazy as mine. Her words repetitious. I held her face in my hands as I swept closer. My lips captured hers.

"Bella.. My Bella." I whispered against them. Like molten lava the feeling rushed into me and then exploded. Bella, my little wild cat, was uncontrollable. Her spasms undulating into my body. Her hips raised and crashed against mine. Her arms came to wrap around me as we closed what seemed like our never ending orgasm.

I placed a kiss on her ticking pulse. I had won and the beast had been stayed.

"I love you." Bella's satisfied words brought me back to reality and I did a once over to make sure she was in one piece as I slipped out of her and settled next to her. I immediately became alarmed because now her body was less than creamy perfect.

"Your lips are purple." I knew I shouldn't have done this with her. This is why I needed to wait. I could have controlled it more if it was at my pace. If it was my timing. Instead she was hurt. I just hoped I hadn't broken anything on her body. I would never forgive myself.

"It was obviously worth it." I squinted at her reply. No, it wasn't. It wasn't worth her pain and misery.

I pushed off the bed and dressed. I was pissed. How could she joke about something like this. I could've killed her. I very much could have torn her limp from limp.

"Other parts of you are purple." I hissed.

"Well I match my sheets. Purple is the new pale white." Another joke. I spun around. Did she not see what I could do? I took notice of her headboard that was barely standing. I could probably blow on it and it would fall over. THAT is what I could do. I looked at her bruises. I cringed at every knew one I found. I internally raged at myself. That, again right there, is what I could do. It was the least of it.

"Why do you always think it's funny? I could have killed you. Do you have any idea? Do you know how I very nearly lost control? I could have done worse to _you._ Not just your headboard!" I clenched and unclenched my fists. I wanted to yell at her even more and tell her how stupid she was being but I could never hurt Bella like that, no matter what I managed to do physically. She jumped at my booming voice.

"But you didn't.." I watched as she looked them over. Touching each one as if she didn't hurt at all.

"And I never will again, Bella."

I had to get away. I didn't say a goodbye as I hopped out her bedroom window, landing on the ground with a graceful calm. I sped off into the woods. Running helped me to think clearly. I had all night but I needed to get home and confront someone. I knew she saw me coming but I was prepared. This was _mostly _her fault!


	17. Road Trip

**I included the infamous months in here because well, it just fit lol Thank you Stephenie Meyer. Of course I don't own the characters or anything.**

Still BPOV:

I stormed up to Edward and slapped him. My hand almost bruised immediately and despite the pain I was in I refused to let it show. He only winced out of guilt, but at least he had. His eyes raised to mine and pleaded with me to give him some leniency. I pushed him then, which caught him off guard and he took a half step back.

"What the hell, Edward?" He stayed mute which was not surprisingly irritating me.

"We all just think it would be better if you had a change of scenery until this is all figured out."

"You put them up to this?"

"No, Bells. We all came to an agreement." My father's voice boomed from behind me. I whirled on him almost too quickly. He flinched.

"I'm not going any where. Over YOUR dead body!" I screamed at him.

Well, my father was still alive and kicking. It had already been a few days since I arrived in Florida. I guess it wasn't good to have a fast vampire, a doctor, and a chief of police for family and friends. I was still pissed that they chose to drug me and transport me like luggage. It felt more like a mafia deal than a visit to my mother.

"Baby?" My mother said knocking and opening my door. Baby…My eyes closed against the pain and I willed it away, rolling over to face the door. She held a plate of food in her hand.

"Yea, I'm awake mom." My voice betrayed the way I tried to sound light and then fell flat on the last word. A tear threatened to slip out but I quickly blinked it aside.

"I know you don't want to be here dear, but you do need to eat. What if your baby comes back today? You wouldn't be strong enough to hold her." Thoughtfully I sighed. She was right. "Oh, and Edward called for you today. He said your cell was off and he was trying to get through to you. I came earlier, and you were still sleeping so I told him you would call back."

I bristled. I hadn't spoken to him in about just as long as I had been here. There would be no chance in hell that he would even get close to a sentence from me. I wanted to be out there looking for my baby too no matter how 'unsafe' it would be. I had survived many things, I would survive that as well.

"Tell him I'm not here whenever he calls." She blinked in shock.

"Are you sure honey?" She pressed.

"Yes, mom, I'm sure."

"Alright, but I hope you know he will probably see through that."

I shrugged my shoulders and turned away from her, facing the wall again. She sighed and squeezed my shoulder. I heard the clink of the plate as it touched the dresser and my mouth almost watered. I knew I would have to eat soon.

October. November. December…and finally, January. I hated my life. Four months was a lonely time and most of that I ignored Edward. He emailed me updates. They were never close to finding her. Every time they received tip's the girl's age had changed. I was giving up.

Flipping aside the covers, I darted out of the bed. I rummaged through my suitcase and pulled out a few articles of clothing and shoved them into another bag. I ran down stairs and passed my mom and Phil, and into the kitchen. I flung open cabinets; grabbing non perishable items I could eat by hand. I shoved about 20 Nutri-Grain bars into it. Phil could always buy more. Turning I ran towards the fridge and collided with my step-dad. He wasn't that much older than me, it was sort of weird.

"Oof." He let out air as we tumbled to the ground. Urg. Great. I pushed myself up off of him awkwardly.

"Crap..sorry." I continued towards the fridge, grabbing Jell-O's and fruits once I got there.

"Starving?" He raised an eyebrow. "Renee, I think your daughter's gone crazy." He laughed and winked at me, joking as usual. I laughed back half-heartedly.

"Um, Bella?" My mother said questioningly as she appeared in the doorway.

"Yea…just…hungry." I lied, and not too well. "Can I borrow the car? I wanted to go to the Library today." I patted my bag. "Fill this up with books and then go to the Art Museum."

"I don't know…." She trailed off and I could see her thoughts flipping back and forth.

"Mom, Edward's handling it. I just need to keep busy you know?" I took a huge exaggerated bite of an apple. "I'm starving." Her face lit up in a smile.

"Okay. You can take Phil's car." To that he looked at her like she had lost her mind.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no. _Hell_ no. Baby, I love you, I love her, but I drive a Jag. No one's taking Daddy's car any where." My mom rolled her eyes.

"Take my car. The Station Wagon is still hip honey." I scrunched up my nose. She just said station wagon and hip in a sentence together. Total oxymoron. I hugged her and Phil and grabbed the keys. At least I had access to a car. Goodbye mom.

Throwing my bag in the back seat, I started it. I was going back to Forks.

------

I knocked and knocked and knocked with no answer. I peered in through the glass. No one was there as I sort of figured out. I frowned. They had to all be doing their daily Renesmee rounds. I sighed and sat down on the porch. I would just wait. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I flipped it open. It was my mom again for the 50th time. By now she knew I wasn't coming back. I listened to her message.

_Hey, Bella, it's your mother. I am just worried about you dear. Call me back. Please. Now. _

I closed it and sighed. Nope. Not right now, sorry.

A car began pulling up into the winding drive and I immediately noticed whom it belonged to. My heart raced. The windows were tinted a bit darker than I last remembered. Edward parked and in no time was dragging me inside. He deposited me on the couch and stood over me like a father would his child before a scolding. He fisted a hand in his hair in angst and threw up his hands. All in a silence of sorts. He paced looking at me in disbelief. I watched him and stifled a giggle.

"Are you insane?" He simply stated as he paced. "Are you INSANE?!"

"No. Could I ask the same of you? Because you're looking mighty crazy right now." I couldn't help but to laugh at the sheer shock on his face.

"Bella…what the hell are you doing here? Alice told me you would come but I just hoped you wouldn't." I blanched. I watched as his eyes narrowed. I couldn't tell if it was at me or behind me.

"I get it, I'm not welcome." I stood up and tried to rush past him before he could see me cry. I stopped short and my breathing caught. A beautiful strawberry blonde woman stood in my way. I watched her eyes flicker to Edward's and I turned to see his face. Guilt crushed across it.

"Hi. I'm Tanya." She smirked at me.

"I know who you are…" I managed to force out.

"Tanya, this is not necessary. Just go wait for me."

I watched her walk away and she waved at me over her shoulder. What nerve she had. So this was Tanya. The one person, who Edward found beautiful enough to cheat on me with, was here in the flesh. Was this the real reason he had me shipped out of Forks?

"I see." I said, taking in a swift breath as I faced him.

"It's not what-"

"Spare me Edward." I was angry now and I poked his chest with my finger. "It all makes _perfect_ sense. You know, you didn't have to sleep with me before you had me sent off. You have all the vampire pussy you could want, why use me like Jacob did?" He flinched as if I had struck him. "Further more, I don't appreciate being kept in the dark about _Tanya_." I said her name with such disgust I surprised myself. "I know that I'm nothing but a lay to you now but you could have at least told me. And I know that since Rensemee is gone that you want to have nothing else to do with me so I will make this clear for me and you. Stay out of my fucking life FOREVER!"

"Bella.." He was pleading.

"No, don't Bella me or maybe you should. I'm starting to think this is a wild version of The Twilight Zone's rejected pilot. Vampires and Werewolves. What next, witches and warlocks? Oh, I know, some one is playing a joke. Well it's not funny."

I started my panic attack. One of many I had after being sent to Florida. I was losing my mind. I wheezed and held a hand to my chest. Edward was there and I waved him away, pulling away from him. I paced the room speaking out loud no matter how crazy I knew I sounded.

"I see a black vase. It has red flowers. The flowers are roses. The roses are big. The vase is on the table. The table is small. The table is next to the couch. The couch is white. The white couch is on the wood floor. The wood floor has a rug." I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "My name is Bella. I am a teenager. I have long hair. I have a blue shirt on. I have on jeans." I took another breathe and calmed. I sighed. It got easier every time.

"How long have you had to do that?" Edward's voice was laced with concern.

"Since you sent me away." My face betrayed me and it fell.

"Your grounding is pretty good."

"Thanks." I smiled. How could he even get me like this. I was starting to think we both were a bit bipolar.

"Okay now?"

"Yes..."

"Good."

"What does she have that I don't? Minus beauty, well, minus everything."

"She's not you." I now really took the time to look him over. He wasn't happy. He had dark circles under his eyes. This wasn't a man who was excited to be rid of someone. "And you are beautiful to me. I know I messed up with Tanya, Bella but she's just here to help us search. We have gotten loads of tips via her. I…shouldn't have brought her along but I insisted she stay in the damn car. She obviously doesn't listen. Bad judgment on my part, but in no way have I touched her, even thought of touching her, since that day. I sent you away out of fear. You know now, what they are. I couldn't risk him hurting you. You scream in your dreams about him. You cry about Renesmee. You tell me you hate me, but love me. I tried not to feel, but you make it so damn difficult. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I sent you away because four months with out a word from you were just too much."

I took all he was saying in. He sent me away to protect me. That made sense. I was such an idiot to not have seen it before. His screaming at me had nothing to do with him not wanting me here, but afraid that maybe Jacob knew I would come back. He didn't want me in any kind of danger. He loved me enough to protect me. I sighed and threw myself into his arms. He wrapped them around me in a tight hug.

I began kissing him all over his face, his neck, his chest. Any where I could. I needed his touch. His lust. His love. Him. All of him. He responded in kind, his hand finding my breast and the other wedged in my hair as he brought his mouth to mine. A needy groan erupted from him. He kissed me again harder, then harder still. I heard my top rip off and I was against the wall behind the door before I could formulate any thoughts.

It was maddening, our love and want for each other. Just when I was about to give it all up I learned how deep it ran. Edward thrust inside of me and I cried out; lolling my head back against the wall. It felt brand new and all the same. Everything I knew and everything brand new. He was mine alone. I wrapped my legs around him at his frantic pumps. My head now in the crook of his neck as he spurred on, and I began to shake.

"Please, now…now…" I begged and I felt it. I held tightly to him as my orgasm consumed me. I whimpered into his shirt and then he loudly came with me, pinning me lightly as he leaned into my body. His breathing slowed and he let me go. I placed my feet back on the floor. Good thing I had clothes here. I eyed the shredded pile of what I used to be wearing.

"Sorry." He smirked a bit then his brow creased. "We can't keep doing that whenever we please."

I looked up at him confused. "Why not?"

"Because you can get pregnant now and as much as I would like you to have my babies I don't want to be a bunny." My eyes widened and he laughed at me, tweaking my nose.

"God. I would be on Maury for sure. 17 with 50 kids. Oh no." We both laughed together as he hugged me to him. It was weird how Edward and I could be all over the place and then as one. I felt him stiffen.

"Go get dressed." The look on his face told me that I better hurry and I ran up the stairs.

EPOV:

"Edward, are you done copulating like a wild animal yet?" Tanya called on the other side of the door. I swung it open.

"At least you didn't ruin it like you were thinking of doing." I scowled at her.

"It's not my fault you should be with me instead of that pathetic human."

"Well, that 'pathetic human' still has ears so keep your voice down. Besides, she's only pathetic because you hate her."

Tanya feigned shock and dismay. "I do not hate Bella." _I loathe her._

I chuckled at her. "You're going to have to walk back to Seattle." I took a step back just as she lunged at me, her lips puckered. "Now you should know better than that."

"It was worth a try." She batted her eyes. She was recalling us together. How it felt for her. A twinge flitted in my gut and I pushed it aside. I was not going to even hurt Bella again. I rushed across the room.

"You will always remember it though, won't you? Like I do. It was wonderful."

"It was a mistake." I ground out.

"A mistake worth making." I glared at her across the open space. I heard the top step creak slightly and I implored her with my eyes. "Does she know that it was good for you? That you didn't have to hold back because you knew I wouldn't break?"

I scowled even more grabbing her arm as I came close again and determined on making her go.

"Let her go Edward." Bella said, hiding her anger.

"She was just leaving." I assured her.

"I have something to say to her." Bella looked at her then me as she rushed down the stairs. "I know you slept with him once, but never will you again. He doesn't want you. He doesn't love you. He wants and loves me. So back the hell off." This was the side I loved to see out of Bella.

"Well. I guess you told me." Tanya's voice rang with amusement and she turned to me. "See you later Edward." She winked at me and blew a kiss and was gone.

"UGGH!!!!!" Bella's face flamed red. "I can't stand her."

"Me either, to be honest. I'm sorry. Don't let her get to you. That's what she's counting on."

"Oh it's not me I'm worried about." She eyed me questioningly and very human like, I averted her gaze.

BPOV:

I lay snuggled with Edward. His cold body next to mine was heating me up better than a fire could. I wanted him again. As if we hadn't just spent twelve or so hours of making up for lost time. I still wondered if I was all he thought of when we did this. I know he was it for me. I blushed when he chuckled.

"You sure do think a lot." He teased. I blushed because it was obviously written over my face.

"Do you..care about her?" I didn't want to ruin the moment but I needed to know.

"Not at all." He was sincere at least.

"If you did you could just change me..So I could be like her and you wouldn't have to worry about me."

He crushed me against his chest. "I like you how you are."

"You didn't that night. You chose her." I backed up and looked at his face.

"I didn't feel good enough for you Bella if you must know. That was the only reason it went as far as it did and only once. I wouldn't and will never do it again. Alice despises what I did to you. Jasper lets me know almost every day what feelings you are having. I can't go one day with out knowing the pain I've caused you. Rosalie is the only one happy about us falling apart."

"So we are falling apart?"

"No." He kissed my temple. "Were."

"So we were?"

"Weren't we?" I shrugged. I guess he was right. I snuggled into him. We needed to find Renesmee and fast. Tomorrow needed to be a better day. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off. It had to be.


	18. Fight or Flight

EPOV:

My phone rang in my pocket and I ignored it. Too bad I couldn't read people's minds through phone calls. I would screen every call I had. I set up specific ring tones for that purpose but it wouldn't do with my phone on vibrate. I continued staring out into the woods. My depressed eyes peered into the darkness. There was some one out there.

It was a good thing that I made Bella go back to her father's house. She wasn't happy about it after all the time spent apart. I was sure he had a big bag of hate set aside for me and I wasn't welcome. I wasn't going to be invited into that household any time soon by him. I just hoped he had as much hate for Jacob as he did for me.

I was obviously distracted by my thoughts because I had kept whomever it was out. I didn't hear them until they were in the house. Catching a familiar scent, I turned quickly.

"Tanya, I thought I said-" Her mouth crushed into mine as we collided. Her body slid down on top of me comfortably. My head bumped the floor briefly. I didn't want to hurt her but what she wanted wasn't something she would be getting, tonight or any other night.

"Just..come on. Once more." Her hands were ripping at my belt. Her other brushed against my instinctively hardening penis. I moaned against my will, followed by a quick 'Stop'. She wasn't hearing any of that.

"I don't want to hurt you." I warned her.

"Then don't say no." She freed me of my boxers. Her eyes were begging and the hope I saw there disgusted me. With some of my strength I pushed her off me. Tanya slammed into the wall. Shock flashed across her face and I immediately regretted it as she slid down. She sprang up into a catlike crouch. "You've just made an enemy."

"And you weren't all this time?"

Her stance slackened a bit, and I could see the pain flitter in her eyes briefly.

"I love you." She whimpered almost child like.

"I don't love you Tanya. Not the way you want me to. I can't allow you to come between me and Bella again. I lusted for you for one night." Okay, be truthful. "And maybe a few days later but that is only because you're good at getting to people." I eyed her meaningfully.

"Are you trying to say that I enchanted you, Edward Cullen?"

"Didn't you?" My eyes narrowed at her playfulness. "Bella is here, go, now." I heard the key turn into the lock and watched as Tanya refused to go any where.

"Oh!" Bella was startled. "I didn't know you were..uh..occupied. I guess this is why you didn't answer your phone." Her tone was relaxed but her face displayed anything but.

"She let herself in." I tried to explain to Bella, but I could see she had her own doubts. I would have too if a half naked man stood in her home.

"You asked me to come." Tanya provoked.

"No, I certainly did not." I started to move forward but Bella grabbed my hand.

"Forget her, we have more important things to worry about…like Renesmee…" Bella's eyes saddened quickly.

With out thinking I scooped her up into my arms. Her scent was beckoning me, and the sugary sweet smell of her breathe was intoxicating. I had missed Bella more than my thoughts would allow me to believe. I kissed the side of her neck innocently, but that wasn't enough. I made my way up the side of her face to her lips and I captured them.

It was irritating for me to have my emotions so out of control. Damn Jasper for not being around. He is the main one who had held me up when I sent Bella away. He needed to be here to keep me from taking Bella on the floor over and over again. Actually, no, why should I stay away from wanting my girlfriend?

Because you could have another baby, you dolt. I broke away from the kiss. Bella's eyes were still closed and her lips were moist and swollen. God, that look was my downfall. She whimpered low because my kiss stopped and I returned to doing it. I knew then that no matter what I couldn't force myself to end it. There were too many emotions pulling us to each other.

_Ew. Fucking gross. I can't believe he would even bother with that crushable human. I'm going to find Jacob and bring Renesmee back and MAKE him love me for it. Just to see that stupid little bitches face, knowing I brought her world together._

I scowled at Tanya, before taking Bella with me up the stairs. If she wanted to be privy to Bella's and my moans, that would be on her. I couldn't wait. In the room I locked the door and then laid her on the bed. I ripped my clothing off and nearly pounced on her. Her eyes were open as if she were dazed by my kiss.

I promised myself that I didn't have to rip her dress. It was pretty and blue. My favorite color deserved most of my respect. I slipped the upper half down her bust and I couldn't help but to lave her hardened nipple. Bella moaned and arched upward. My lips encased it and my hand brushed across the other at the same time.

I continued lower with my hand, flowing past her breast, down along her side, smoothing over her hip, sliding across her smooth thigh until I reached her wet, hot, melting core. I slipped a finger in just to stroke. I would last a minute if I tried to take her now. Her insides clenched on me tightly. She spread her legs open for me.

My eyes flickered to her face when I heard my name in a light whisper. Her hand on my back tried to press me in closer, and with out words I slid inside of my Bella. A sharp gasp took over the room's silence for a few seconds, and then moans filled it when I moved against her. I slipped in and out of her with finesse, and tenderness.

Her legs wrapped around my waist unrepentantly and I took that as a sign to give her more. My hands took a hold of her face as I kissed her deeper. Before I knew it they were entangled in her hair and I was pushing her head back a little to suck on her neck. My love shivered under me and I couldn't keep up the slow pace.

Bella's nails lightly raking my back were telling me it was okay. She welcomed the faster pace and I let as much of my senses take over as I could allow. The bed slammed against the wall slightly loud and each time I filled Bella completely she let out a sexy cry. I was nearly mirroring the passion she was feeling with the groans I was releasing.

"Edward, I can't wait." Bella pleaded. She wanted me to cum with her, inside her. I almost did when she violently convulsed, pressing closer to me. My name flowing from her lips in a redundant rant.

I couldn't give her what she wanted. Not ever again. I wasn't going to replace my child with another. Maybe Bella didn't realize that was what she was doing but she was. I didn't even know anything about Renesmee to even know if breeding with Bella was a safe thing.

I felt Bella's legs relax and I withdrew from her. Her whimper from no longer being filled taunted me and her eyes flew open. She questioned me with them. I didn't have to be able to read her mind to know what she was thinking. She was disparaged that I hadn't given her what she craved.

I moved from between her thighs and breathlessly lay beside her. Tears moistened her lashes and I kissed them. She shouldn't cry over it. I was just watching out for her well being. A little selfishly mine too. Her fingers swirled thoughtfully across my chest. She caught her breath and I figured she was trying not to break down.

"Why didn't you finish?" Her voice was choked up. I hadn't meant to hurt her by it.

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Bella I love you, I just can't chance that again." Her hand turned into a fist on my chest.

"That? Renesmee isn't a that." Her voice was hard edged.

"No, she isn't. We really don't know what she is."

"She's ours." I throbbed unmercifully at her touch yet I couldn't give her what she wanted.

"I can't ejaculate inside you. Not ever again while you are human. Not until you're changed."

"But you won't allow that…" Her hand touched my face so softly. I looked at her face and saw the pain this was causing her.

"Bella, stop it." I smirked when she leaned down and kissed me. My hand with a mind of it's own wrapped around my hardened length and began to stroke to ease some of the tension.

"We can discuss other ways." Her hand replaced mine and she moved me in her palm. "Like anal."

When did Bella become so freaky and where can I get some more of those thoughts to put in her head?

BPOV:

Alice hugged me tightly and I had to pat her shoulder to let me down. She was almost squeezing my lungs out my mouth. She laughed and then it was Emmett's turn. God, I couldn't take any more of it. Jasper just waved.

"No, Emmett, no fair." He spun me around too quickly and I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Welcome home." His grin was too wide and goofy looking. I started to crack up. "Where's Edward?"

"He's out searching with my dad." I sighed. "No Bella allowed, you know."

"Yea, now that's not fair."

"Tell me about it." I smiled up at him.

"Well of course you're not allowed with him. You're a clumsy buffoon." Rosalie sauntered in and then sat on the couch.

"Oh shut it, Mrs. Bitter." She scowled at Alice.

"Any news?" I interrupted their little spat.

"Yes, and that is why we came back early." Her face beamed. "Close your eyes."

I don't know why but I trusted her and did what she said. The door opened and then shut and I heard a loud "Surprise!" My eyes quickly opened and I almost couldn't breathe. A small little girl who seemed to be about five or six stood in front of me. My heart sunk. What a pretty child but what were they up to? Nothing or no one could take the place of Renesmee.

"Oh..Hi." I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Bella, take a good look at her." Alice insisted but I didn't want to.

The little girl stepped forward and touched my hand with her fingertips. _Mommy! You're my mommy. _I jumped back in shock from the voices in my head. It sort of frightened her and she hid behind Alice. I looked at Carlisle and Esme and I shook my head. I didn't understand.

Just then Edward appeared into the room and the little girl cried 'Daddy' and ran to him. He cradled her to him and looked at me with concern. My breath hitched and the room spun. No. That's not her. Not my child. My little girl. My Renesmee.

**Sorry it's short but I work 40/hrs a week. Give me a break. Pretty please. Lol**


	19. Another Contest!

**AUTHOR NOTE: TSMW HAS BEEN CORRECTED!**

**I apologize to those who my chapters seem to jump from one scene to the other, it was because I just noticed FFN didn't keep my story breaks. i usually put * or - or _ lol but for some reason they are taken out. I sincerely apologize and have corrected the problem in the later chapters! Thank you to one of my viewers that told me my story was hard to follow. I didn't realize that that was the reason! GRRR I'm going to fix the problem slowly through out the chapters but that requires a lot of saving every chapter and re-uploading, but it will be fixed this weekend! **

Hi every one,

GOOD NEWS! I am going to put up the FTLOE and FTLOJ stories before this weekend. I also am working on TSMW. I was just writing to ask for forgiveness. My RL has taken over my FFNL at the moment and that is why I am having a hard time continuing as I did before. I never write if I feel I can't do my stories justice. I would rather take a while to produce a good chapter than to just write and put something up that to me would be a sloppier version. I owe you all that follow them, better than that. I am also working on the full chapter of Rosalie Hale's story. So please keep in mind that I have a 40/hr a week job and a busy, busy, busy home life.

So to commemerate my story return I would like to open up a contest. The winner will recieve a 25 dollar gift card. As long as it is a place that I can get off a website and mail to you. This will be a trust thing, so if you aren't good at trusting someone to give your address then let me know and we can work something else out. A lot of people will feel I'm crazy but I am grateful that any one is actually reading my stories and taking the time to review.

So to that PLEASE review any chapter and by June 30th a lucky winner will be chosen! If you do not have a FFN account then please email me on here with the name you submitted your review under, what chapter, and an email address.

TwilighterObsessed


	20. Mommy

**Very short Chapter. It was in my head and I had to get it out! LOL**

BPOV:

"Mommy. Wake up Mommy." Was this in my head too? I shook away cobwebs and opened my eyes. The room spun for a second and then my eyes focused on Edward and the little girl, no my daughter Renesmee. I could see it now. She looked just like Edward with my eyes. I sat up slowly and scooted into a sitting position.

"How did I not expect you to pass out?" Edward's voice was amused and I squinted my eyes against his teasing. It was supposed to be an angry look but I seemed to have amused the two look a likes.

"How'd you find her so quickly?"

"Well…" Renesmee touched his face. "Okay, you can tell her."

"My Auntie Alice sees visions and she saw me because I was curious and I wandered away from Uncle Jacob into this toy store so that is how she saw me. We have been living in Renton. Oh mommy, I missed you. I grew up so fast and Uncle Jacob didn't mind. He made sure no one hurt me." My head swam every time she said Uncle Jacob. "Well, after that Auntie Alice, and Uncle Jasper and Emmett came. But Jacob could smell them and he tried to take me with him but I wanted to see you mommy. He said he would come back for me." I watched her face go sad. "I miss him a lot. Can he visit?"

I flickered my eyes to Edward, who was smiling, but I could tell he wanted to kill some one.

"Now, Renesmee," He said calmly. "We've talked about this. He can't visit because he was mean to mommy and took you away."

I wanted to cry. I I missed her as a baby, her toddler years, her..well, her everything! She was going to be 16 by the time I was 19. How was I going to explain this to Charlie? I couldn't even make this right in my own head.

"Mommy's upset, Daddy. Can I go play with Auntie Rose again?" He nodded and she hugged me and bounced out of the room.

I sat in silence just staring at Edward. He held my hand and I blinked. Was this real? Would I be waking up any time soon? That couldn't be my daughter downstairs, yet I knew it was. How could she be this old? Some form of rapid growth from being a hybrid? I heard him sigh and I looked down to our hands.

"It'll take some time to get used to. You aren't the only one feeling the way you do." He reassured me.

"But you adjusted so well." He chuckled.

"Lies, all lies. I'm a wreck." His plastered on smile fell and I knew he was being truthful with me. "There's something else I need to tell you." I shrugged my shoulders. What could be worse than what was currently going on? "I know you don't want to hear about Jacob but I think you need to hear this. Have you ever heard of imprinting?"

"Why?" I questioned cautiously.

"Well, it's something that Jacob had wished he did with you. Why he was so angry when..that..happened and you didn't love him." He didn't want to admit that Jacob and I had sex, that it wasn't rape before. I couldn't read minds like he could but I knew Edward. "Well, now you know he's a wolf." I shivered despite myself. "Wolves imprint on their mates, it's some what like love at first sight. But not quite. Jacob imprinted on our daughter."

"What are you saying? He's a fucking pedophile now?" I looked at him incredulously.

"Some thing like that."

"Oh, hell no. We are going to find him and kill him." I flipped back the covers and ran to my closet.

"Bella." He came up behind me and held me to him in a hug.

"No, he's not going to have my little girl. Not like he had me."

"It's different. He doesn't desire her right now. He just sort of looks out for her."

"He will desire her later when she's his age or something?"

"Yes."

"Kill him. Please, not my little girl!" I felt a sense of insanity breach my thoughts. He can't take her away again.

"She loves him too. He's Uncle Jacob to her. I can't just kill him. Bella, you know I want to."

"Oh, fuck you." The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back. He released me from his arms and took a step away. The closed off Edward had returned. I turned to apologize but he wasn't looking at me, but past me.

"I'll give you your space." Before I could say another word he was out of the house. Stupid, damn super fast vampire. I sat on the edge of the bed and frowned. Could me and Edward ever be okay? Sex obviously wasn't going to fix how we hurt each other.

EPOV:

I knew she didn't mean it but I had been privy to so many of Bella's mood swings as of late that I couldn't stomach them. I was trying to be caring to her situation and show her I loved her and yet it didn't seem to be enough. I sat on a mountain, looking towards my house. Where did things go so wrong? Why did they have to continue to do so?

"Hello enemy." Tanya's silky voice wrapped itself around me.

"Don't even try that. I'm not in that place to even touch you right now." The warmth tingling my body stopped.

"Pity." She sat next to me and I clenched my jaw.

"You're becoming a fucking stalker." I growled out. "Just leave me and my family alone."

"I am your family, or don't you remember?"

"How can I forget? Unfortunately I don't have that power. What do you want?"

"To warn you. Jacob's here. I just thought that if I acted more favorably that you would find it in your heart to forgive me?" I scoffed. I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Edward, seriously, I need you to forgive me and I will go home. I've behaved disgustingly. It's just that I love you. You know that."

I nodded. "You will be forgiven if you never show up here again with out an invitation."

"Agreed. Now go get him. Call me if you need back up."

UPOV: (Unknown Point Of View)

I watched them battle. No one was winning at the moment. My comrades and I moved in closer. I scrunched my nose at the stench. A werewolf. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had never seen one in all of my 300 years. I looked at my leader.

"What should we do?"

"He is a bit handsome to let die, don't you think hunny?" The red head winked at me. She loved to push her boyfriend's buttons.

"Oh shut up. Let's just watch and then if it kills him we can have some fun with the beast." I saw him smirk and then as usual watched the two of them make out. I needed to find a woman too. I hated having to be the third wheel. While they let me watch, I never was able to touch her.

BPOV:

I watched my little girl with Rosalie. They were playing hide and go seek. She was almost as fast as a full vampire but not quite and while my soon-to-be-sis-in-law sparkled fully in the sun, Renesmee didn't. She just looked as if she had radiant beautiful skin. I frowned. She would definitely have to be homeschooled. She already was a bright child.

She spoke like a teenager sometimes, soon she would be one. I would have to speak to Carlisle about this, though he probably was as medically stumped as I was. I would have a grown child pretty soon and no way to explain her. Unmistakably she looked like Edward. My dad would know.

Every one who saw Edward, would question Renesmee. Why did she have to look exactly like him? Maybe she can be his twin sister who found where we lived and the Cullen's just adopted her. Hell, I don't know what to say about it. I didn't even know what lie to spin this in or if I even wanted to make up a lie at all. She was mine and no one will ever take her from me again.

Except Jacob and his damn imprinting. I pulled out a few blades of grass angrily. Why her of all people? Wasn't raping me enough? I wondered if my daughter knew what he was capable of. If she did and she got with him well I would…I don't know. Where ever I could run she would want to go to Uncle Jacob. I couldn't hurt her. After all, really this wasn't her fight.

"Mommy, come play with us." Renesmee waved to me and I waved back, immediately smiling.

I got up and chased after her. It was time for a game of Tag. Renesmee would wait until I almost caught up before she would dart away again. She was so playful, just like her father. I laughed trying to forget all the problems and just have fun.

"Wait. Mommy's tired." I pretended to pant to catch my breath and she walked over to me concerned. Then I beamed a smile at her n grabbed her up in my arms, tickling her. "Got you!"

Her giggles pierced the current surroundings as I tickled her harder until she managed to writhe away, tapping my shoulder. _You're it!_

I laughed and chased her with Rose into the woods.


	21. Another Contest winner!

**CONTEST WINNER IS Shesadreamer. You won a $25 gift card. Message me with your details!**

**Also, every one, I have a new and better paying position at work and no longer sit at a desk all day :) and computer at home is down and in the shop. When it is up I will proceed with my stories. Sorry all.**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	22. Forgive Me

**Sorry this took so long guys. Cringe. Close to a year, but I had work and no PC screws you. Hope you enjoy. **

Laurent's POV:

"What should we do with them?" Laurent said breathing in deep. "That one there is a vampire and…_she's with a human_!" I looked over to Victoria who then looked towards the little girl.

"She's a vampire too or…hell, I don't know what she is. Let's just leave them..for now. We shall wait for the succulent one to be alone. James will definitely LOVE her. He's been waiting to get her alone for quite some time now."

I nodded in agreement, grinning. "You two have always liked playing perverse games with your meals. Join a game site, like POGO. I hear it is quite enjoyable."

Victoria glared at me and scoffed and continued deeper into the forest.

Bella's POV:

We returned from our get to know each other outing and I had begun to start to feel closer to my little Edward look alike. She was perfect. I watched Renesmee as she skipped ahead with Rosalie up the drive way. Her bronze curls swinging in a neat array. She was radiant and captivating. No other words could describe her. I would definitely have trouble with the boys later.

My abdomen started cramping. Maybe it had been a bit soon for all these fun and games. I had to rest. Entering the house, I leaned up against the wall. The room did a quick spin but I was determined not to ruin anything by my usual passing out.

Renesmee watched me with concern on her face. I smiled. I would be fine. Carlisle appeared at the top of the stairs. His face in a frown. I sighed. What had I done with this family? They never smiled any more. Well besides Emmett. I nodded to Rose as she took my daughter's hand and led her into the kitchen. I hurried up the steps as fast as I could.

"Edward is healing quickly, so no need for alarm. We are fast at that. He was in a scuffle with Jacob."

His name shot a stabbing pain through my heart.

"WHAT?" I didn't mean to raise my voice but I couldn't help it. I pushed passed Carlisle and threw open the door expecting to see a badly beaten Edward, but instead met a concerned one sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Close the door, Bella." I did as he asked.

"What's going on?" I was afraid to ask.

"He won't stop coming for her. I hurt him badly but he will keep on. He's insane. Obsessed."

I walked over to him slowly. My heart sinking. I kneeled in front of him. "Don't let him take my daughter."

"Our daughter." Edward corrected crisply.

"You know what I meant." I didn't understand where all this bitterness was coming from. My voice had shook a little against my will and my eyes watered. "I'm sorry for going off on you before you found her. I wasn't myself." I really wasn't because if I was I wouldn't want to give him head right now when I felt sad and rejected. This other Bella craved touch. Any touch from him. The real me, since I met Edward has been a bit over sexual, but the new one is even more so. He could stab me and I would still want him. I leaned forward and kissed just above his belly button.

"Bella.." It was a warning but I didn't much care. Sex wasn't a cure all but it did make him relax enough so we could talk.

"Just let me show you how I feel because my words aren't working." I pushed him back onto the bed, a little surprised that he let me. I unzipped his slacks and pushed them down only far enough to expose him. He usually watched me but instead he kept his gaze on the wall. I became even more determined. My mouth hovered over him and I was about to continue when he suddenly shifted away from me and sat up. His face was perturbed and he quickly righted his clothing. "But I thought…" My sentence trailed off.

"I tried to forget Bella, really I did, but I can't get over how you let that dog touch you." My eyes snapped up to his.

"You let that bloodsucking slut touch you first. YOU did this Edward. You! You're a fucking hypocrite. Always wanting everything your way and blaming others for your mistakes. Actually, not others, just me. I'm human, I make mistakes. What is your excuse Sir Perfection?" My voice softened as I sighed. "Look, do we always have to fight? Can't we be friendly with each other? Don't keep pushing me away when I've forgiven you. Forgive me…"

And with that his resolve waned.

"I know that Bella, it's even harder because I know what you say is true. I started this. I made you turn to him and now Renesmee will pay for it."

"Only if you let it happen."

The door cracked open and I jumped. I was getting more and more skittish as the days went by and I wasn't sure why.

"It's just me." Carlisle's voice flooded the room. "Renesmee is asking for you two."

I turned around and watched her peek around his body. Her smile was infectious and I couldn't help but to return it.

"Daddy!" She ran into the room and hopped into his arms. It was awe-inducing knowing we have this wonderful little girl that is a product of the love we once had for each other. She was so special. I watched Edward hold her and play with her. It was a bit shocking to me to see Edward in his father role, but I quickly got used to it.

Later on my dad came to see me. He was extremely disappointed in me, as usual. He talked to me a long time about how I was acting crazy and he understood that I was grieving the loss of my daughter. In actuality I wasn't any more. I contemplated a minute and decided that maybe I should tell him the truth about every one.

"Bella." The sing song voice called to me from down the hall. I rolled my eyes. Maybe later and definitely not here.

"Well? What's going on with you, Bells?" My Dad's voice snapped me back to our conversation.

"Me and Edward aren't too great right now, we both miss our daughter." He nodded.

"I'm sure having a little girl here now doesn't help that. Who is she?" I fidgeted.

"His niece. He had a sister in the east, died in childbirth. They had some family taking care of her but they couldn't afford it, so they found him and sent her here." That was the story I was supposed to tell every one. I sighed. I hated lying so much about her, but she was number one priority to keep safe. I didn't think I needed to keep her away from Charlie though. He was no threat to her.

"Are you coming home soon? I miss your cooking." I laughed softly. "You the most though."

"Yea, I think so. Edward will probably kick me out sooner than later." I was joking, sort of.

"Does he need a talking to?" He became serious very quickly.

"Oh, no. I was just kidding. We'll be okay. We both need time. Promise."

"All right honey." He got up from the bed and gave me a hug. "Call me when you need me."

"I will. Be safe."

"Will do." With that he shut the bedroom door.

I sank down from my sitting position into the comfortable bed and flopped down on the pillow. I heard the doorknob turn and I snapped at whoever it was to go away. I wanted to cry in peace. I hated being this way. What was the point of crying? It fixed nothing for me. I closed my eyes against them.

"Do I make you this sad all the time Bella?"

My eyes flew open and Edward sat down on the bed in front of my face. I wiped the tear away quickly. I didn't know how to answer the question so I lay there in silence for a moment, staring at him. Another tear came and then another until the pillow was wet underneath my cheek.

"Do you love me?" He was incredulous at my question. "No, really, do you? Because I've been wondering that very thing for a while."

"I do, we just hit a snag. All couples do."

"Change me."

"No."

"Why not? You want nothing with me. You didn't want sex. You didn't want a kid. You didn't and don't want this relationsh-" His mouth covered mine, stopping my little rant.

I was in shock, my eyes opened wide. I didn't expect this. I loved it though. This was how it used to be. We lusted for each other, loved each other, needed and wanted each other. This is what it should be like all the time. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in closer.

I sighed against him. Hell yes. Nothing else mattered besides these moments like right now and the little cute spawn of us it created. My mouth opened up to his more and he kissed me gently, fighting with his demanding side that wanted to force his tongue in my mouth. My moan cut through the quiet room.

At some point Edward had left me to lock the door but had not missed a beat. I barely realized he had gone and he was back. His kisses and closeness were making me more delirious. It had been too long since we had been gentle with each other. The barrier between us crumbled down. We were a family again. We were lovers.

His lips traveled down past my lips to my neck, and I secretly wished he would bite me. I arched more into them, begging in silence. He continued past that point down to my shirt and ripped it clean down the front. I gasped and my skin flushed slightly.

"Please." My voice sounded needy when I said the word. So much that I almost wanted to stuff it back in my mouth.

Edward's tongue flicked out tasting the skin of my nipple and he pulled my pants off at the same time. I lightly shivered as he continued, completely enveloping it with his lips. A montage of ooh's and ah's and oh's filled the room as low as possible. His hand slid down my waist and found it's way between my legs. He didn't have to wait to push them open, because I was eager for his touch. His thumb rubbed my clit like an expert and I had to bite my lip to not cry out. A cool finger entered me and it seemed to heighten the fire inside me instead of smothering it.

He lifted away from my breasts and I whimpered in disagreement until he continued lower. My eyes widened. Was he going to…Oh, my…yes! He licked my labia and sucked on it a bit and his fingers, his wonderful fingers, slid in and out of me at a good pace. He was bringing my body to new heights.

By the near end of it I was mad. My head tossed back and forth, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't control my actions. My legs were on his shoulders now and his head I was pushing into me. More, so much more, I needed more, was all I could think. I bucked my hips and pushed up onto his tongue.

Edward's hands were squeezing my breasts or pinching my nipples. I was going temporarily insane trying to be quiet. Then I felt it. It was like a rolling wave during an earth quake. Small at first and then stronger. I give that a 10.0 on the Richter Scale.

"Edward, I love you. I love you." It burst out of me during my orgasm that felt like forever until I collapsed back onto the pillow. He lapped at me slowly until I giggled from feeling too sensitive. I had never had an orgasm like that.

"We need a condom." Edward's voice brought me back from euphoria. I frowned, I enjoyed making love with him with out one. "If we're going to do this I am going to put one on, Bella. I can't get you pregnant again." I nodded. I didn't want to go through another whirlwind birth again.

I braced myself as he slipped between my legs. His eyes found mine and I smiled at him. He began teasing me pushing forward and entering me a little bit. I was glad to see the playfulness come back to life in our relationship. I was nearly breathless when he filled me fully. As big as he was I still took all of him in.

His fingers ran down my arms and he leaned back, taking my hands in his and bringing them above my head. I resisted at first but he said something soothing and I gave him the control. Not that Edward wanted that, but it was a test for me. I needed to get over he who I wasn't even going to think about. My tense body relaxed again, enjoying the pleasure pain of him. I missed it.

"Ohh crap!" I sucked in a deep breath when he found my g-spot. I heard Edward chuckle against my neck. After that I couldn't control myself. I wiggled my hands free and I pulled his head up by his hair. He growled low and captured my mouth again. About time. This time he was rougher, his tongue took up the same rhythm as his movements. My legs began to shake, so I wrapped them around him.

I met each and every forceful thrust with a shift of my hips. I was close again. Edwards harsh pants into my mouth told me he was barely hanging on as well. A lot sooner than I expected, I came, and I screamed into his kiss. I could feel the familiar clenching around Edward, but this time was different. It was intense again, and it seemed as if time stood still in this one moment.

My eyes still closed, I felt the vibration of Edward's moans against my lips. I wish I could feel him shooting his warmth inside of me but no such luck. My legs fell back down to the bed and I held him as he leaned heavier into my body in his post-orgasmic relaxed state.

**EPOV:**

I lay next to Bella after we made love and removed stray strands from her sleeping face. It was getting better wasn't it? We had finally became the kind of intimate where there were signs of moving forward. Renesmee was back now and I was still trying to grasp the fact I was a father to her. She was extraordinary in every way. Carlisle was stumped.

And so was I. I was starting to think that there was something different in the Swan lineage. How could I not read Bella's mind? She was the first person that I had ever come across that I could not. Charlie I could read but only in scattered pieces. Our daughter I could only read when she touched me. No, I couldn't even read her then. She was _letting_ me hear her thoughts. I'm quite sure she had the capabilities of blocking them if she wanted to. That would definitely be a problem later.

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop my mind from straying to another topic. Jacob. I growled low in my throat. He would never touch my little girl again.


	23. Author's Note

**A/N: I am losing inspiration for all of my stories, I'm saddened to say. I work so much and have such a hectic life style now a days, coupled with no computer connected to the internet. I used to love to read all my reviews and I really don't get any due to my gaps in updates. It is killing me. I think because of that, I have no heart in it to write any more. I don't want to abandon my babies but I hope I won't have to make that choice :-/ I have a few new chapters but I am doing this all from my phone and I had my USB cord stolen so unable to upload it via that. I promise I will try my best not to let any one down. It just might take a while. Sigh.**

**TwilighterObsessed**


	24. To Be or Not To Be preview

**Preview: Full chappy soon. Comments appreciated. Just a slight preveiw. If you want to review you can with out being signed in so when full chappy is up you can review fully. thanks. Oh and you will like this chappy when it's done I hope. A lot of people in the background come into the open. Hint hint.**

BPOV:

I yawned and stretched quietly. Today was that kind of morning where the sun shined and the birds chirped and I could snuggle up next to Edward. Last night was glorious and I still tried to hold on to the sleepy feeling so I could get more time. I scooted a little closer on the pillow and threw my arm over his waist. My eyes flew open when my arm hit the bed.

"Is it that too much to ask for him to stay in bed?" I scowled sitting up.

"No," He rushed to my side placing a tray over my lap with amusement. "But unless you'd like to starve to death after nine hours of continued love making and five hours of sleep then you should be eternally grateful I cooked you something to eat." My mouth watered at the scents wafting up to my nose and my stomach growled loudly. "Exactly."

I rolled my eyes at him, but a smile crept on my face as he kissed my forehead. I immediately smother my English Muffin in butter and Orange Marmalade. Taking a big overly eager bite, I chew slowly savoring it. I even did the whole moan and eyes closed bit. No one knew but Edward was a great cook. He made everything from scratch. I won't tell Esme, but Edward could give her a run for her money. Well, on most things.

Edward sat down next to me and watched me scarf down everything. He chuckled once or twice until I gave him several glares. It's not my fault his food tasted so good and I hadn't ate in fourteen hours. It was all his fault. I smiled as I sipped on some orange juice. All his wonderful fault.

After my meal, I bent over and gave him a kiss on the mouth. I meant it to be a quick thank you but it quickly turned heated. Edward abruptly pulled away and gave me a lopsided grin and turned towards the door. Little Edward Junior (Renesmee) bounded through and jumped into his arms, hugging him tight.

"Daddy…" She started and then discontinued her verbal thought. I frowned, and took a sip of milk. They had a very tight bond. It obviously was something she didn't want me to hear. I curtly cleaned my mouth with my cloth napkin, throwing it back down. Most of the time since she had been back was spent with Edward or Rosalie. I turned my head and stared out the window.

"Don't think that way, of course she does May May." My fist balled up. They were talking about me.

""Kay, Daddy. We'll see." I heard her little pads of feet run off through the door.

We sat in silence a good while, my fist still clenched. I didn't say a word to him when he lifted the tray away. He sighed heavily, and began to walk towards the door. My eyes watered against my will and I took a quick indrawn breath.

"So that's it?" I croaked out. I heard the tray clang down on to the dresser. Edward was in front of me in a flash. I still refused to look at him.

"You run hot and cold with me, Bella. What do you want from me?" His voice was quiet and controlled.

"I want us back. To just be us." I snapped at him, finally rolling my eyes to his as I strained the word us.

"What are you saying?" His shock was evident. "You do not want her?"

My eyes fell to my lap. I didn't understand my feelings or why I even said such a thing. I loved my little girl. I did. But it dawned on me I was jealous of her. Very jealous. She held most of Edward's attention minus last night. Every one accepted her from day one. I had to force it. I felt like a horrible mother for my thoughts. It was all that bastards fault for taking her away. I had to work so hard at my bond with her. Every time I saw her I saw him as he snatched her up. Even while we played together, it stayed in my mind. I let out a wail, as the tears began to fall rapidly. I brought my hands up to cover my face. I felt Edward's strong arms wrap around me and I leaned into his cool body.

"Shhh, shhh. Baby, please calm down."

But I couldn't. What happened to my sweet morning? It was ruined by Renesmee. At that thought, I cried even harder. My mind was horrid. Why was this happening to me? Wave after wave of peace overwhelmed me and then fatigue.

**REVIEWS WELCOME. Internet is back Saturday so chaps should roll in like Bella's tears lol. ;) Also do you like the nickname I gave Renesmee? I didn't want to use Ness, or Nessie, or whatever else.**


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